Alpha Male Bible: Become a Casanova! Learn Charisma, Confidence, Self-Hypnosis, Eye Contact, Dating Strategies, Psychology of Attraction, Flirt With ... & Self-Discipline of a Real Seducer Man - Dale Cardone 2021
If I ask you what charisma is, you may not be able to instantly give me a definition, but if I ask you to think of some charismatic person, surely one of them comes to mind.
And it is that charisma is like creativity; difficult to measure but impossible to deny.
Charisma? What's That?
What is the meaning of charisma? Good question. If we go to the strictly grammatical point, you can find various definitions. An official one, and with whom I disagree, is the following:
"Gift that God gives to some people for the benefit of the community."
I don't think that having charisma is having a gift, but if you believe it and you did not receive that divine gift, I have good news for you: you can go and claim it. John Antonakis, Marika Fenley, and Sue Liechti demonstrated in this study that charisma is not innate.
I believe that charisma has to do with a person's capacity to attract, amaze and generate admiration in others. And unlike gifts, abilities can be acquired.
It's like public speaking, flirting, or listening. One is not born knowing, but they are qualities that one learns with practice. What happens is that we usually call the involuntary practice a gift, while we call voluntary effort and dedication.
The Charisma Is It Learned Or Born With It?
Imagine a ten-year-old boy who goes to school and who, in the yard, spends 30 minutes playing Minecraft alone. When he comes home, he spends two hours on the PlayStation and, while he dines, he is watching TV. He falls asleep in bed while watching a YouTube video on his smartphone in which another person narrates - with limited vocabulary - how he plays whatever the fashionable game is.
Now imagine another child of the same age, partner of the previous one. In the courtyard, he plays soccer with his friends, complains about a foul, and argues why he should be penalized. At lunchtime, he tells them that he is going to the circus next weekend and that he wants to see the most famous magician in the city. He tells them what he is capable of and how magic exists. Then he comes home and sits down with his parents to talk. He explains that the math teacher has a mania for him and that, furthermore, math is useless in the real world. They argue. They do it properly, and each one gives their opinion. They have dinner talking about the weekend circus and how good that magician is. Then, in bed, his eyelids close as he reads how orcs invade Middle-earth, according to Tolkien.
Which of the two children do you think will have more "Gift of people" or more facility with adult speech?
It is not so much a question of being born with it but of exercising throughout life.
Just because you haven't consciously practiced, it doesn't mean you haven't trained. And if not, ask Mr. Miyagi and Daniel San.
Be that as it may, charisma is one of the personal qualities that everyone would like to have. It is one of the characteristics of the world's most successful and influential leaders and people.
So can it be learned?
If you want to learn how to be charismatic, read on. If you want to learn how and hope to achieve it in the five minutes you have left of reading, be delusional.
It does not work like that. You have to work a bit.
How to have charisma: scientifically proven techniques
In their study, John A. and his collaborators determined that charisma is born from relating and, above all, communicating. They analyze various facets until they find the most relevant that can convert people into charismatic leaders.
They divide them into two parts. The first nine have to do with verbal language, and the last 3 with non-verbal language.
The goal is to get attention, maintain interest, generate emotional connection, and project credibility. Maybe it sounds familiar to you.
Here Are The Techniques That Will Grow Your Charm.
● Metaphors And Analogies
Explain what is complicated in a simple way. The key is to convey a new idea by relating it to another that your audience already knows. Remember that not everyone has the same level of knowledge on the subject you are talking about. Try to use metaphors with everyday concepts like home, food, or technology. In this way, the spectrum of people who can understand it will be greater.
● Stories and anecdotes
Stories are great for several reasons, but the biggest of all is that instead of giving the information head-on -which usually raises resistance- they help you show the lesson you want to convey more indirectly. That is the audience that draws its conclusions.
You don't lead them by the hand like a small child. You open the door for them, and they are the ones who walk through it. And that makes them feel competent.
Contrasts help to see things more clearly. If everything is black, when you add something white, it will stand out. If everything is verbal, when you add something visual, it will make it look more. If you advertise what you offer and precede what they lack ... Do you know what will happen?
Questions Rhetorical questions work, in part, like stories. First, they direct their attention where you want it. It's hard to hear a question and not think about the answer. And then they actively participate in the conversation. They don't need to respond verbally; just by thinking about that answer, you are already making them participate.
● The rule of three
The rules of the three are magic. Here you can see its effects. When you list adjectives, adverbs, or qualities, three is the correct number. You can see it in hundreds of speeches, but this is one of my favorite examples. By the way, the one in the video is quite a charismatic person. Chance?
● Moral convictions
Integrity is one of the most appreciated qualities in people. We like those who help others, say what they think and who, besides, act according to those principles. Show your interest in being fair and doing the right thing but be careful to act accordingly. Otherwise, you will create a gap that will affect your credibility.
● Reflect the feelings of a group
Among the skills that will trigger your charisma highlights understanding others' feelings and having the ability to show and stir what you have in common. We have a preference for those who have our same passions and our same problems.
Talk to a mile vista about your son's problems in equestrian class or the cost of spare parts for your Porsche, and you will end up as far from him as the Poles.
Talk to him about how hard it is to make ends meet, and you will have his undivided attention.
● Establish demanding objectives
We do not value the easy. Nobody does it. You don't have to be special to keep it simple. What we like are those people who achieve what seemed unaffordable. Those who one day proposed something that seemed impossible and, later, they succeeded.
Who generates the most admiration for you, who runs 5km, or the one who completes an Iron-man?
● Show confidence self-confident
Charismatics are usually trustworthy people. People must perceive that you believe in what you tell them. That you are sure that it is true and that it can be achieved. Confidence is a basic attribute to give off charisma. If you don't believe in yourself, it will be more difficult for others to do so.
● Gesticulate naturally and energetically
Just as a person transmits more qualities and virtues dressed than in balls, a speech generates more positive attributes when accompanied by gestures that dress the message.
Don't hang your hands or speak with your shoulders slumped forward. Maintain an upright posture and gesture without fear. Notice how people talk on the terraces of the bars when they are not under any pressure. No one is an immovable trunk.
● Congruent facial expressions
One of the easiest ways to detect lies is to see that the person's facial expression does not correspond to what he says.
And the lie is an enemy of integrity and moral convictions. Perhaps that is why so many politicians lack that charisma they once dreamed of. Do you want to get it? Start by being congruent.
● The lively and varied tone of voice
Think of someone you want to hear. To which you go to Youtube to see their videos. The one that makes you activate the sound on Facebook. The one for which you would pay money to listen to it live. Most likely, it offers vocal variety in three dimensions: speed, pitch, and volume. Making yourself palatable is the first step to becoming charismatic. Or can you think of someone charismatic that you don't feel like listening to?
Besides, five other techniques also help to gain charisma and are:
● Invoke a sense of urgency
● Use repetition
● Talk about sacrifice and effort.
● Appeal to the story to compare or motivate, include humor in your communications
The scientific basis for charisma
We all know some of those who manage to be the center of attention in any social gathering, without great fanfare or fuss, simply through their mere presence. Many of them are movie or television stars (unfortunately, we find less and less of these characters in politics), but we will also have come across some of them in our working lives - the inspiring boss, the charming commercial - or their fascinating charm that will have interfered with our loving purposes.
But is it something innate, or is it the product of a long learning process and developing social skills? Is the charismatic person charismatic because he behaves specially or behaves however he wants because his spell has bewitched all his companions? Rather the latter, the researchers note.
Various studies have been aimed at finding out what traits define charismatic people, which should not be confused with unbearable egomaniacs who, all told, tend to cause more rejection than acceptance. As John T. Marcus pointed out half a century ago, the charismatic leader is not the one who belittles others, but the one who manages to inspire those around him to bring out the best in them, which explained the success they had known historical figures like Adolf Hitler, Winston Churchill or Charles DeGaulle. Although debatable, they all had something in common: a vision and the ability to identify with it for his followers. Leaders pay attention to others and do not criticize them. However, recent research has more clearly detailed what it is that defines a charismatic person. It is not just a question of being one, but also of behaving as such, as Jay A. Conger, one of the social scientists who has dedicated most to the subject, points out. In his book The Charismatic Leader , Conger adds that it is in the intensity of your actions that you find the deciding factor in being a leader, as well as bomb-proof credibility. But what are the actions that distinguish these irreproachable leaders? Here are some of the ones that Conger and other colleagues have defined over the years.
They listen. For those around you to feel appreciated, the charismatic leader needs to listen carefully to them, pause to reflect on their ideas, and not consider their ideas better than others. No person with charisma receives others' trust if they perceive that their superior continually ignores the proposals of others and considers their own wonderful. Besides, they are good communicators since they make others feel that their ideas are appreciated (even if they are ultimately rejected), and for this, communication skills are required.
Build confidence and inspire. It is achieved through experience and good action, mainly through the ability to recognize and amend one's own mistakes and make others understand their successes and mistakes in the right measure. A leader who has lost his credibility will hardly ever be considered a reference among his followers. Besides, through their colleagues' trust, they can serve as inspiration, enhancing their virtues and relativizing the defects that we all have.
They are not conformists. The most valued people perceive some error or injustice in their environment and are capable of starting the necessary process to solve such a problem. For a charismatic person, something can be improved, and that therefore requires their leadership. Their discontent leads to action and action to change. - They are visionaries. It is no longer simply a matter of being able to have a good idea, being skilled in certain fields, or being very productive, but developing a personal and non-transferable project that distinguishes them from their peers. If they can shape this vision in the right way, attract their followers without manipulating them, and gain their trust through the right means, the leader can take on any company, no matter how ambitious. After all, charisma is closely related to the height of your sights. Charismatic people lead by example and are willing to sacrifice - they
Take risks, and they sacrifice. To be able to achieve that personal vision, leaders must lead by example. And, therefore, they must act following the ideas they espouse. You cannot ask others for something you are unwilling to give and expect to continue trusting. Being the first to help, to recognize the possibility of failure, and to accept the consequences of a wrong decision is the difference between the leader who shows his face and the one who hides or the one who, worse still, always places the responsibility of the mistakes on their peers.
They are creative. Wit and the ability to abandon predetermined conceptions distinguish a charismatic person from a merely competent one. Their aspirations are different from those of other (conformist) mortals, requiring a different skill set to help them spearhead projects. If they are in permanent struggle with the status quo imposed, their tools for change cannot be the same. If they want to reach an audience accustomed to certain messages, they will have to use an alternative form of expression that distinguishes them from the conventional. You know: if you want different results, one must follow different methods. —They do not criticize others. Even if they have made mistakes, gossiping behind their colleagues' back only leads to a loss of confidence from their colleagues, who suspect that they may be the targets of malicious comments from the "smartass" on successive occasions. Deep down, the most charismatic people are so because they appear human. However, it may sound paradoxical: they recognize that anyone can make an error - even if they know how to hide it well - and they remember that the important thing is not to repeat it. Of course, it is important not to fall into the condescension of those who consider that others' mistakes are so frequent that it is better to get used to them.
They speak of "we", not of "me". Egocentricity is not exactly a common quality among charismatic people; yes, it involves others in the project that one has started. It is important that all company members feel part of the same boat, not that they are mere companions of the leader in realizing his company. The important thing is the common objective and that each one adopts the role that the company needs, not the personal fulfillment of the leader.
There are cases of men and women who have a special charisma for preaching, advising people, and knowing and transmitting God, but who have not necessarily founded a religious congregation.
At the beginning of the third millennium, it seems very normal to speak of charisms. And if our objective is to awaken the charism, it is convenient to know what this term means or wants to mean. We need to have clear notions about this concept if we are going to center life and the consecrated identity.
A charismatic person
"I attract people not because I am an extrovert, I am above average, or I exude charisma but because I care about these people."
I think that phrase encapsulates much of the reality about charisma.
If you try to apply these strategies like pushing a button, you may be more influential and even more persuasive. Still, you probably won't get into the area that charismatic people enjoy.
If what you want is to be charismatic, if you want to have that personal magnetism that seems reserved for a few, you don't have to use strategies as buttons but internalize them. They have to be part of your personality, your way of being.
And the best way to start including them is to show a sincere and genuine concern for others.
Does it matter to have the charisma to flirt and other aspects of our life, or can we do without it? How can you get it?
Recently an entry was written about the Pareto principle applied to the sex market or how many guys give you the bullshit that only 20% of the male population gets it hot and on top of it without the slightest run-in problem with females. Well, now it turns out that it's not even 20% anymore. Now according to some enlightened ones, it's only 5%.
It's not a joke.
I guess in three years, or so, we will be talking about 2%, and in ten, it will be negative numbers.
Flirting is not as easy as pulling out the torpedo and starting to pound it with the same force and claw as when you crush almonds. But it is not as difficult as sending a human-crewed mission to one of Jupiter's moons. Since we're here, I think the last chick I messed with was from that part of the Solar System.
Now I tell you. Do not be impatient. I freak out when a 35-year-old guy tells me he's starting to have trouble keeping his cock erect. When you investigate a little, you usually discover that they are men who have been with the same aunt for more than ten years, who is increasingly ugly and unbearable.
To understand us, I will give you an example. I met a guy from Barcelona who had a pretty cool painting of Dalí in his living room. When the four guys on duty meet at his house, we all look at him. It was impossible not to. However, the owner of the work did not even care. I was sick of seeing her every day. For him, they were seeing that Dalí was like seeing the toaster in the kitchen for me.
Something like this happens to many guys: just by fucking the same lady, they lose their sexual appetite. And it is a tragedy. However, since I am a convinced polygamist, I don't have those problems.
I'm getting more and more excited. To the point that if this does not stop like an older man.
Some friends with a girlfriend or wife do not suffer from Downed Soldier Syndrome either. I guess it goes with the person. The fact is that this weekend he had met a girl who seemed normal. I already saw some strange thing or other during the appointment, but nothing activated my anti-crazy arachnid sense.
Well, after kissing, and sucking, snitch, I took her home. I threw the jackfruit on the bed, and with all the heat, she took off my pants. The lady put her head close to my underwear, and I was convinced that she was going to suck it off. But instead, she was like analyzing it, and after a few seconds, she commented on its quality and design. I did not give it more importance and continued with my business. The thing went further, and I took out the condoms. The girl began to tell me the virtues of that brand of condoms and tell totally out of place stories in which she used them. I didn't pay much attention to her and started undressing her. She got on top of me, put my cock inside her in a quite mechanical way, and began, ATTENTION, to talk about the objects in my room.
For example, the wardrobe, a pouf to store clothes, or even a painting that I bought from a Basque friend. All this while moving her waist. I tried to attract her towards me and get on top, but the girl was following her ball, and it was grating me a lot. Like I weren't fucking nailing her or something. In the end, I couldn't help it, and the torpedo fell apart. That's right: I couldn't continue.
I tried without success to make it stony again, but there was no way. The most surreal thing is that the GIRL was OFFENDED. Like 'don't you like my tits? Don't I make you horny? 'As if her behavior had been impeccable, and I was as unpleasant as a bucket full of raccoon diarrhea. As far as I can remember, this has only happened to me three times.
The other two were because the stink from one of her cunt was not normal. It was so repulsive that I even seriously wondered if he kept a corpse in there. The other was because I pulled her panties down and saw that she had a fairly large scab from a wound between the hairs down there. It grossed me out.
This chick got mad at me too. It is what it is to be a gulf that sometimes you see yourself in bad situations.
But what I want to talk about today is fucking charisma. Why? Some of you have recently asked me how to work it and such.
Now, what exactly is charisma?
According to the Royal Spanish Academy, it is the ability that some people have to attract and fascinate.
Unfortunately, it is a recurring theme in those seduction books that fill your head with ineffective and fanciful bullshit so you can preserve your virginity. At the same time, you drop the tickets to the fucking guru on duty.
Let's be honest: we all want to be magnetic people capable of captivating others, Especially if it is about 'hot' ladies who want to jump off a cliff with their ass in pomp and wet pussy to land on our imposing 'column of Hercules.'
I believe that charisma is made consciously or unconsciously. But IT IS DONE.
The typical charismatic guy who everyone likes is at all parties and attracts the attention of girls who do not leave the house without their Hello Kitty panties, possibly someone who, from a very young age, has made a little effort to understand how human relationships work. For example, a typical trait associated with charisma and this prototype of males is smiling a lot when spoken to.
Possibly one of these noobs at a very young age discovered that showing his teeth generated a greater sense of harmony and good vibes among others, and he developed it to the point that it now comes naturally to him.
I say this because, for example, the Popular Party's image advisers tell their leaders that even if they are dealing with thorny issues or responding to brutal insults, they have to smile.
Logically they cause the opposite effect.
For example, Richard is always smiling. Far from looking charismatic, he is so forced that he looks like a psycho-killer. Another trait associated with charisma is leadership ability.
Come on, somehow influence other people's lives or their way of understanding reality. Again, for others to follow you first, you have to, somehow, have learned to give them reasons for it.
For example, in the underworld of the neighborhood youth, the typical douchebag which goes with the cigar and hides at the doors of the bars while smoking a joint and tells you about the last night of the wild party, knows that it is cool. He knows that he does and says things that others don't even dream of. He knows he is an idolized youthful rebellion figure.
He knows that blondes like bad boys who invite them to try the back seat of their car that smells new. He knows that in that context and in that age range, he is the fucking master and that, therefore, there will be others who will love him close and imitate him.
However, among older people or even in the Peppa Pig fan club, I don't think it goes down very well. By this, I mean that the charism is often also linked to a certain context.
For example, a scientific lecturer may be funnier and cooler than the others and still be a nerd, not very masculine and boring to the women who appear on Tele 5.
Maybe a guy who has a very special way of playing The saxophone, such as John Zorn, for many, is a visionary genius to emulate when for others little more than a madman who plays badly and, on top of that, senseless.
Sometimes, the charisma that a person generates does not arise from their personality but their work.
For example, in the gigs, the rock tends to shit on me and on the offspring that at the moment I do not have because I am very hard-pressed. I recognize it.
When they see the results or the rewards, they thank me, and there is more laughter and merriment than at the end of a Power Rangers episode. When you have people in your charge, the hell you force yourself not only to make yourself respected but also to make others trust you.
It is something you LEARN. You need to generate some charisma if you want others to pay you minimal attention. In fact, for a few years, a most curious phenomenon has been taking place. Many geeks go into engineering because they have poor social skills and think they will not have to deal too much with others.
However, the higher they get, the more presentations, talks, client meetings, and the like have to do. This is because companies increasingly depend on technology, and for certain purposes, they need supporters who know the subject and not graduates in Business Administration or economics.
It is much easier to teach an engineer the four basics of business than a clerk with certain technicalities. So much so that, for example, in the same City of London, most 'financial geniuses' come from careers such as Mathematics, Physics, or any engineering. In other words: they have to put on the suit, become visible faces, and of course, DEVELOP SOME CHARISMA.
It is true that many times some extreme geeks, the kind that has written on their faces that they like to play Fortnite and that from so much pounding it daily and every hour they have wounds on their dicks, have become true leaders highly appreciated by their peers.
Now, is it convenient to generate charisma with women?
Some guys flirt because they have excessive charisma. And although many of you have other qualities, such as a physique as appealing as a delicious bag of Goblins (hey, I am not saying that I miss them a lot, damn it), you should not neglect the charisma.
Because, for example, there may be others who are as good as you and who on top of it don't stink like boredom and the brain only gives me to lift dumbbells and not shit on myself".
As I have already shown you, you can develop your charisma even if you are as hypnotic as a croquet game and more closed than the typical Catalan who calls all Spaniards who cross Europe fascists.
It's not a joke. There are crazier and crazier of those. The radar is activated at the same time that the pot goes away. Like, 'Oh, look. Some random perfins, about which I do not know absolutely, which could be insulting sense motion gratuitously. Do not miss this opportunity! Wake up, Ferro! Feixistes! Feixistes! Feixistes!
That's right. But going back to the nitty-gritty, it would be interesting if you asked yourself some questions.
For example: How can I be more attractive in a certain environment? How can I like myself without becoming a clown or being tiresome? How can I stop being dull?
And so on.
You will be good not only for playing slimy cunts, but also for life. So, in general. Charismatic people make, for example, a simple flat blue sweater looks amazing and modern when they wear it. Why? Because they know how to put it on. They have been concerned with being suggestive with their outfits.
In any case, you don't have to obsess over the subject either. Just keep it in mind.
The more interesting your life and inner world and knowledge, the greater your charisma will be.
Suppose you know how to show it to others in a charming way. In that case, you are going to see how, without the slightest effort, uncles and aunts are going to count on you for everything, how no one will bother to do you a favor, or how sexual, job or other offers are rained on you—another type.
You should also bear in mind that, unlike what some sons of bitches say who want to fill your head with bullshit, there is no 'homogeneous type of charisma.'
Some people captivate because they are very strange and others precisely because they are so normal and hearty that they unwittingly like them and spread their joy.
Some are charismatic for having more balls than the rest, and others for knowing how to talk to magazine models without shaking their voices and without placing them on a golden pedestal.
You have to find what aspects of yourself you can enhance or expand to become a reference, on an axis around which several people rotate for one reason or another.
I recommend it because it is fucking incredible when a superior comes to you and recognizes that thanks to you, this or that has worked or a compromising situation has been avoided.
It's cool when a 25-year-old kid comes to you and tells you that he has learned more from you than in all the university courses.
Or when an aunt lets you know that she loves spending time by your side while kissing your neck.
Seduce with Charisma
Let's look for the meaning of seduction. It covers the area of relationships with the opposite sex and the persuasion of other people to your way of thinking, your perspective on life, and much more.
If you become a charismatic person, you will not only increase your attractiveness with the opposite sex, you will also have the possibility of moving up at work, you will have many more friends, and you can even do all kinds of projects because other people will want to help you or at least it will be. Easier to convince them.
Seducing with charisma is incredible. It is not like the classic seduction that is often indirect or direct; this seduction is more emotional, more spiritual.
Seducing with charisma does not necessarily mean that you will drive women (or men) crazy into wanting to have something sexual with you. No, that is secondary. What does happen is that they will feel an emotional connection with you.
Charisma, by nature, seduces the masses. One of the times I was able to verify this was when he used public speaking power. I know perfectly well that people get bored with boring monologues and meaningless stories; they want to feel something special and feel emotions.
Whenever I gave a speech or a presentation, I tried to be funny, magnifying my charisma. I began to tell anecdotes that moved me a lot. When I came down from the stage, several people approached me to congratulate me on the good message I had given them, and others hugged me. And a lady (I was very surprised by this) told me that she was a fan of my presentations; she loved my way of thinking and, above all, for seeing herself reflected in me.
On many occasions, I successfully seduced with charisma, and one of those was when I was in another city. I went out to meet people on the street and found out that I was there because I just wanted to meet people who liked the idea. Suddenly I said some things about myself, and I showed my personality with which, many times, they were enchanted despite being of the same sex.
This is what can be done when seducing with charisma. While it is true that it is not very sexy, it is deeper than everything you have already learned so far about seduction.
To seduce with charisma, you have to be in a state of great confidence and optimism. Many people are always in a very passive and monotonous state. They do not seduce easily, so they go to the discos to see if they have any luck trying alcoholic beverages; they believe that by drinking and leaning on the bar, the woman of their dreams will appear and invite them to go to her home. In life, you get results by acting and not waiting.
This type of behavior seems regrettable to me. If you want to seduce with charisma, learn to be optimistic and positive. Girls love being with upbeat and cheerful guys, and best of all, these types of girls will help you on your self-improvement path. It's worth it.
Of course, some women like the bad guys, the serious ones, the unattainable, the unhappy ones, those from the dark side ... Leave them with their tastes, and it is most likely that these types of girls will not bring anything good to your life, you better go for the ones that will. That is why seducing with charisma is advantageous when finding a partner, because it attracts positive people into your life.
This is always the case with actors. Because of their influence, they have become great Hollywood stars, and they do what they love; they are happy with their work, therefore when you see them speak, you realize that they exude success through their charisma, and they manage to seduce you for no apparent reason.
For example, an actor that I love to see talk about is George Clooney. With his humor and confidence, he makes the vast majority of people who know him want to be more by his side. And I admit it, and I also want to be next to a person like him no matter how stupid he does.
Take, for example, Jim Carrey. When you see him in the movies, and even in the interviews they do on television, he does not stop being silly, and the public loves him. He is extremely successful on the big screen because there is no one globally; he is unique and original.
And there are many examples like those in the film world. The same happens in the world of politics, religions, sports, business, and so on.
There is always someone who stands out for his personality and is not necessarily the one with the most money, the most physical attractiveness, but rather the one who manages to seduce other people with charisma.
Seducing with charisma is not smiling all the time; seducing with charisma is not talking non-stop, seducing with charisma makes other people feel good while giving details of your attractive personality.
For example, you can show your leadership when you are in a meeting of friends, and you are the one who proposes new things; you are the one who asks others to make the toast, and everyone acts on your ideas. Great self-confidence and a good sense of humor will help you a lot too.
If you see that there are people who love the way you think, you find out that someone has copied your famous phrases, if you know that there are people who want to be like you, you are on the right track.
Seducing with charisma is, then, seducing by showing attractive personality traits while making other people feel positive emotions, whether in relationships with the opposite sex or with the general public.
Charisma for introverts and shy people
If you feel that charismatic people always get away with it, while it may be difficult for you to connect with strangers, this video is for you because I will teach you the five phases of charisma for introverts and shy people.
So that your social skills improve and you can socialize more easily with anyone, without seeming forced.
The 5 phases of charisma for introverts and shy people
Growing up with certain complexes, I produced rejection at the first impression during my adolescence because treating others was, frequently, somewhat surly and arrogant. Although I have not quite overcome it, after a lot of work, I have removed a good part of this, discovering that social skills are learned.
And the same happens with charisma; it is a skill that develops.
It is important to question the prejudices we have in this regard.
Society has sold us on being charismatic, and you have to be born with a gift and be outgoing. Lie!
Those people who seem to have a natural gift probably grew up in a context that allowed them to develop social skills from a young age. Some extroverts are incapable of being liked because they are pedantic, self-centered, speak badly, or do other things that scare people.
Defining charisma objectively helps you understand that you can develop it.
Charisma is a kind of magnetism that allows you to attract people, make them feel good in your presence, listen to you carefully and pay attention to what you say. So it depends entirely on how you behave.
Think of a situation in which things went well for you, you felt safe, and others listened to you. Seen like this, it is likely that on some occasions, you have projected charisma.
When you realize that charisma is the consequence of your actions, it is easier to see the possibility of developing it and achieving results.
As with all skills, you need to follow a method. To attract people and make them enjoy your company, you will have to get used to practicing three specific behaviors:
Listen carefully so that the other person feels important. Convey warmth so that she feels comfortable. Speak confidently so that he trusts you. If you are shy or introverted, this information does not serve you now, especially if you feel like you have nothing to say.
And it is that to show yourself authentically and attract people to you, and you cannot just be a package, like an empty gift package inside; you need to have substance.
You have to work to become an interesting person.
Because to have a charismatic personality, you must have your ideas and values, convictions that are born from having professional experience, experiences that enrich your world, and an image of yourself that you feel proud of.
● Read books on multiple topics to expand your general culture and ability to converse.
● Have hobbies and develop skills as the skills will increase your self-confidence in specific areas.
● Learn to speak in public, so you know how to present your ideas effectively (I teach you how to do it in this video).
● Do sports; you will feel good and gain security.
● Do activities that lead you to meet people with common interests.
As Henry Ford wisely said:
If you think you can or can't, you are right.
So think of charisma as a project that develops in phases and get down to work looking, first, to grow as a person.
According to Susan Cain, author of the book "The Power of Introverts," extroverts feel great when they receive large amounts of stimulation, while introverts feel better when they are in quieter, more discreet settings. So the key to maximizing your talents is putting yourself in the right stimulation zone for you.
Or in other words, if you choose the context wisely, you will feel more comfortable and achieve better results. And, just as you can feel a high level of self-confidence at certain times, the same happens with charisma. It is easier to develop in the contexts in which we feel comfortable.
And what do I mean by context? Mainly where, when, and who.
As a young man, it was a lot of stress for me to flirt in clubs or bars, while I felt much more comfortable in places with less noise.
If you are shy or introverted, quiet places with few people, small social events or gatherings at friends' houses will be better for you.
Choose times when you feel a high level of energy.
If you are a day person, choose to socialize during the day; you will enjoy it more than if you do it at night, at which time you will be more off.
Who (or with whom):
It has a lot to do with the time and place. When you choose the time and place where you feel best, you are more likely to run into people like you, which will make it much easier to connect.
Whenever you can, plan your social life, meetings, and everything that leads you to interact with other people within the context you feel best.
Because it is not about trying to become an extrovert, but about flourishing, reinforcing what you are already good at, within a context in which you feel good.
● Practice and preparation
Your willingness and ability to connect with strangers is like a muscle… it grows stronger with practice and warms up with preparation.
Without practice, it is impossible to progress consistently. Without prior preparation, it is more difficult to face situations that take you out of your comfort zone than if you arrive with greased machinery.
Imagine a 10-step ladder. Which is easier, go up one step at a time, or take momentum, run up to it and jump from the ground to the top? The answer is obvious.
Charisma is a ladder of more than ten steps. To climb it, you have to walk one step at a time.
Now, to achieve this, you have to be moderately fit, and this requires preparation, which, practically, means:
● Know what you want. Because when you have clear goals, it is easier to act with determination.
● Test in low-risk environments and increase the difficulty step by step. Example: If you want to speak in public in front of 100 people, start by toasting at the family meal in front of 10. With each attempt, you will feel the fulfillment associated with the achievement, and this will give you the strength to continue.
● Take care of your body, rest well, eat healthily and play sports to improve your energy, your self-confidence, and the image you transmit of yourself.
● Take care of your mind, surrounding yourself with people who bring you positivity and push you to achieve your goals.
● Just as athletes stretch and warm-up before competing, it will be useful to warm up to give your best before each match.
Practically, this means:
Dress for the occasion with an outfit that looks good on you and makes you feel good.
Start with easy conversations before entering a social event. For example: on the way to the place, ask ten strangers to explain how to get there.
Charge energy before and after. If social situations consume your energy, before going out to any event and once it is over, spends time alone to recharge.
Practice and get ready, so the charisma muscle is strong and ready.
Charisma is an intention-based mind game because magnetism begins with what you project visually, depending entirely on what you feel.
Think of a time when you felt a lot of joy; what did you project? Surely positive energy, bright eyes, and a feeling of being bigger than usual.
But do you remember a sad moment? Sure your energy was low, your gesture showed you smaller than usual, and your gaze was lost anywhere.
To project an authentic, charismatic personality, always start your interactions with three mental tricks: curiosity, friendship, and conviction.
Curiosity leads you to be genuinely interested in people, showing yourself as someone who listens and pays attention. This leads you to seek eye contact, get closer, and show the other person that their presence is important.
Friendship unites us with other people with whom we feel an affinity. With friends, we feel good, and we are open. If you treat the people you just met as if they were your friends, the interaction will flow, and you will have a good time. You will smile more often and convey goodwill, making them feel comfortable.
Conviction, like faith, is an immense force. Being convinced means firmly believe, which helps others to believe. Speaking from conviction, your body language is expansive and your posture upright, showing a high self-confidence level.
By combining these three mind tricks, you will show a genuinely charismatic personality.
A frequent concern that I have heard among students and clients is the following: "I don't know what to say." This produces insecurity, and many times prevents us from approaching strangers. We think that if we open our mouths, we will speak nonsense and make a fool of ourselves.
One of the reasons why curiosity is useful is that people usually like to talk about themselves.
This benefits you. Because if you don't know what to say, you have to get the other person to talk about themselves for both of you to be happy. And by putting the spotlight on the other person, you free yourself from making intelligent comments.
Two resources will help you: The question and the recognition.
By asking her questions, you show interest, you make her feel good about talking about herself, and she gives you useful information to connect with.
Keep in mind that everyone is passionate about something. Look for what he is passionate about, and you will see how his eyes will shine when talking about it. Besides, if you discover topics that both of you are passionate about, it will generate a very high connection because few things unite as shared passions.
In the process, you will discover qualities and experiences that you will find worthy of a compliment. Tell her. This will make her feel even better in your presence, as long as the compliment is sincere.
So ask, listen and acknowledge. It is all you need to connect.
Start developing your charisma right now.
Learning to be a charismatic person, being shy or introverted, is not an easy task. It will require you to do things that are uncomfortable for you and confront you with the fear of negative judgment associated with rejection, failure, or ridicule, especially at the beginning.
But as you challenge yourself and allow yourself to expand your comfort zone, you will realize that you really can do it.
● So get out there and start developing new skills that make you a complete person.
● Choose the context well to increase your chances of success.
● Practice frequently, starting small, and warm up your engines before each match.
● Start with the right intention to foster fulfilling interactions.
● And finally, focus on the other person so that you connect with them without carrying the weight of the conversation.
If you do this, you will be just one step away from becoming a charismatic person, and your shyness and introversion will be forgotten. You will no longer have to Google how to develop charisma for introverts and shy people.