Alpha Male Bible: Become a Casanova! Learn Charisma, Confidence, Self-Hypnosis, Eye Contact, Dating Strategies, Psychology of Attraction, Flirt With ... & Self-Discipline of a Real Seducer Man - Dale Cardone 2021

The Art Of Confidence And Trust

How To Appear Confident To Women

Confidence is being confident in your actions and your appearance. Being around a woman that you think is attractive can cause many men's confidence to drop. You might think of yourself as a confident person, but when confronted with a beautiful and intimidating woman, that confidence disappears. Seeming to be confident with women is something that men need to balance. Showing a lot of confidence could be considered arrogance, which could put women off. Consider the steps below as tips to appear confident.

Dress Properly And Groom Your Face And Body

Wear clothes that are comfortable and stylish. Pick a method and hold with it, from your tie to your shoes. Add attitude to your outfit by including a personal touch. This can be an eccentric tie, a unique watch, or an interesting strap. Presenting your personality shows the confidence you have in yourself.

Shave your beard, mustache, goatee, etc., so that you look neat. Having a clean face free of facial hair can make you feel refreshed and give you more assurance than you did when you got out of bed.

Cut your nails, the hair in your ears, and your nose, and wash your hair. If you usually comb your hair, do it. Avoid trying new and radical hairstyles when trying to impress a woman. The uncertainty of a new style could cause you to lose your confidence.

Speak slowly and avoid hesitating

Try to slow down your speech by at least 50%. When you are nervous, your voice tends to rise an eighth, and you begin to speak faster.

Focus on being calm when you speak. If you think about each word before saying it, you will automatically slow down. Similarly, this can prevent you from making a mistake when speaking and regretting it.

Stay on the topic of the conversation. Speak as much as required in conversation. When you answer a question, do not continue speaking to fill the silence.

Smile often

Practice a genuine smile in the mirror. A genuine smile is not very cheesy. Plus, it feels comfortable when you do it, and it doesn't come off as unpleasant to other people. A genuine smile shows confidence and is even better.

Maintain eye contact

Stare at the woman you are talking to or listening to during the time you are talking to or talking to you. Men who are not confident tend to wander with their eyes or look away. When a woman speaks directly to a man with little confidence, it is often very difficult for the man to return a sharp look, which indicates that he is nervous.

Try not to think too much about your actions

Understand your words' meaning, but don't analyze every conversation in your mind during and after you have them. Try not to overthink an action. This can be anything from serving a drink or placing a glass in your mouth. By overthinking these very basic actions, you make them emphasized. Likewise, the added pressure you put on the situation can cause you to mess up, which would not have happened if you hadn't.

Remember to breathe

Speak at a natural pace and breathe frequently. When people get nervous, they sometimes forget to breathe. When they finally do, they blurt out their words.

Take a look at your posture

Stand tall. Rotate your shoulders back and raise your head. If there is one thing you need to do when trying to appear confident, maintain perfect posture.

People who slouch look sloppy, sloppy, and shy. You will immediately feel more secure when your posture is upright.

Ten Keys To Project Safety

A self-confident person draws more opportunities than someone who is not. Those who are confident in themselves know their abilities and expose them, while those who do not will have so many concerns that they will prevent them from demonstrating their virtues.

Being confident people can open many doors for us, from getting a job to undertaking a project without fear of failure. Even in the most difficult moments, safety will help us get up and move out successful projects.

I know from experience that when things seem to be not going very well, thinking positively about our abilities helps us understand that if something fails, it is not because of lack of ability, but because that is what life is about: undertaking, failing, getting up and gaining. All entrepreneurs miss at some period. Not being frightened to fail is a characteristic of confident people.

How To Be A Confident Person?

Although it is not a simple task for many, we can become confident people by following simple steps. According to the French psychologist Émile Coué, if we repeatedly say "I am a confident person," we end up understanding it and acting as such because the mind can produce a preconditioned command when required. If we are sure, we will transmit that feeling to others, believing it.

However, it is not enough to believe that we are safe; we must also work with our image to transmit that security to others. According to various studies, people who know how to project a correct image are hired more quickly than those who do not care about that issue and even tend to receive better salaries.

These are some keys to projecting security through your posture and image:

Tone of voice. In the business world, a proper tone of voice is the key to conveying confidence. It's important to be heard, but speaking too loudly could convey arrogance. Conversely, speaking very quietly could make you lose credibility.

Diction. When it comes to engaging in conversations with others, it is best to speak slowly. Not pronouncing words correctly can be an indicator of insecurity; It gives the impression that we do not believe in what we say, and the listener will notice it causing the message to be lost.

Gestures. Gestures are an essential part of body language, as they lead to endless misinterpretations. When we do not understand a topic, we can make it known with gestures: opening our eyes a lot is a sign that we are not understanding, closing our lips with force transmits tension, or maintaining control of ourselves.

Smile. This is entirely one of the most critical components of non-verbal communication. Smiling naturally projects calmness, self-confidence, and the ability to socialize. Be careful: do not smile all the time, or you will run the risk of transmitting falsehood.

Greeting. When you arrive at a place, it is essential to greet everyone present, whether you know them or not. Come over, introduce yourself, and offer them your hand.

Posture. Sitting upright will convey confidence. On the contrary, looking towards the ground or bending your shoulders will make you look like a person who does not believe in yourself.

Walking. Moderate your step. A person who walks very fast may appear desperate, scared, or stressed. A confident person walks straight and at a good pace.

Way of sitting. Sit up straight and avoid moving every two seconds. Moving your feet, hands, or changing constantly transmits insecurity and nervousness.

Clothes. Make sure to wear clean clothes that are well-matched and appropriate for the occasion. Avoid flashy accessories: you don't want them to steal the attention of your interlocutors.

Look. When addressing someone, always look them in the eye—the same when someone else addresses you. Avoid looking at the ground or, at some point, lost in space.

Always remember to look for congruence between what you are and what you transmit. The image must go hand in hand with the abilities that are possessed, hence the need to learn to show that to others through the correct handling of the image.

Acting And How To Show Confidence Or Security

How to be a person showing security and self-confidence. If you can show confidence and certainty in your character, the other characters with whom you surround yourself, and even the viewers, observers of your work will trust and believe in you more easily. However, if the character seems uncertain or does not convey confidence, how do you expect others to accept that what you show is true?

Signs That Show Confidence And Others That Denote Insecurity

Quiet People, when they are anxious, are tense, and it shows. Their bodies are in constant motion, generally making sudden, jerky, and erratic movements due to their muscles' tension.

Standing Attitude

When an anxious person is standing, they usually have what is called "Happy Feet" (happy feet), that is, the little feet are dancing, taking little steps everywhere. A confident person is comfortable standing in a fixed place without moving his feet.

Balance your weight evenly, with your feet about the width of your hips apart. When the weight rests on one leg, it indicates the willingness to move. When they are more or less central, balanced, firmly planted on the ground, it indicates the intention to stay and not be afraid of a threat or attack.

Notice how in the entry image, you can notice that the confident character maintains a distance from his feet according to approximately the width of his hips, with a balanced weight distribution between his two legs. In contrast, the character is anxious. Her legs are dancing, and wide apart, her weight leans more on her right leg, and she stands on tiptoe, just planting her feet on the ground.

Sitting

When the person is sitting, position comfortably, leaning back on the seat and not anxiously forward. When you are confident, you may place your hands on your lap or behind your head as you relax or put them together in a bell shape when making and evaluating decisions.

Draw the lower portion of the body as if standing still, with both feet fixed on the ground or loosely crossed for comfort. Intertwined or spasming legs show signs of anxiety.

Head

One of the clearest ways to show confidence is to keep your head still. Anxious people are always looking for threats, looking from side to side, or avoiding the person they are talking to if they get nervous. Stare straight ahead as if you are observing a specific point to keep your head in one place.

Keep your head up at chin level, as if suspended by a rope attached to a point on the ceiling. Anxious people tend to keep their chin down, originally to protect the vulnerable neck from attack.

A self-confident character keeps his head still with his gaze on a fixed point; it seems as if he is not going to move it from there in a while, while the other character seems that he is going to move it from one moment to another, staring blankly for possible threats from outside.

Arms and Hands

We often wave our arms a lot when we speak or close and clasp if we are worried. You can minimize these movements, and you can even keep them still, resting on your lap or leaving them hanging next to you. A fairly common pose that conveys confidence with the hands is holding them slightly in front or behind the back, a typical posture seen in royalty and presidents. Holding your own hands can be considered a sign of anxiety, so be careful with this.

In ourselves, the one that transmits security keeps the hands relaxed behind the back, a posture also induced by the stretch that occurs when pushing the torso forward, relaxing the navel. This produces a slight tension in the rear part by supporting the upper part of the body on the pelvis, giving rise to a curvature where the hands are precisely supported. The anxious character holds his hands at chest level near the head, causing tension in the hands when brought together and a certain stiffness in the arms. You may also notice that this posture will not remain immobile but perhaps agitated.

Restlessness is a clear symptom of anxiety. Overconfident people can hold their hands still without having to move or hide them. Showing your hands is a way to build confidence as it indicates that you are not nervous, have no weapons, or are not clenching your fists. To this end, it is a great idea to keep your hands out of your pockets, and although that said, if you keep your hands resting on the pockets of the pants, hanging through the thumbs that are inside, it can indicate a sign of confidence. Casual.

Unhurried

A general effect of anxiety is that people speed up, tend to speak, and move more quickly. A person does not need to act in a rush and shows this by acting steadily.

Speed

When you move, do it consistently. This is not to say that you move at an unnaturally slow pace or like a robot, even if it seems like it. The key is natural unhurried movement, such as how you act when you feel relaxed or relaxed.

Slow down your speech. We think much quicker than we speak, and it is easy to speak so fast that others do not understand us. Others may assume that our faster speech is related more to our anxiety than to our speed of thought.

When you are on the move, try to step with a distance between your feet, following a natural and relaxed pace, rather than taking shy and hurried steps.

Pauses

In addition to slowing down in general, add some pauses, both in your speech and in your movements. For example, when you get up, you can first move to the edge of the seat, pause, and then get up. In the same way, when you walk, point towards the place you are going, then start walking.

By pausing, you send a signal to the other person, allowing them to process what you are about to do, thus reducing the possibility that they might be surprised or worried. This is one of the ways that confident people inspire confidence in others.

Silences

Periods of silence and inactivity can be comfortable for a person who transmits security and confidence. Silence is very uncomfortable for many, and for this reason, it can be very useful as a weapon of persuasion that also enhances your image of tranquility and confidence.

Uncovered

When we feel anxious, we tend to cover ourselves with our hands and body, protecting vulnerable areas from possible attacks. People who feel confident do not feel the need to defend themselves and show it with a clear openness towards others. Notice how our safe character's posture remains straight as if exposing himself to others, while the second is curved in a closed posture.

Openness

When people feel defensive, they use closed body language. When they feel confident, they show open body language, exposing vulnerable areas of the body and stay relaxed.

Express Confidence

People feel capable of expressing emotions, including movements with the body. They tend not to over-excite as overly expressive people are seeking sympathy or trying to coerce others. Confident people don't need this. They tend to smile more, a smile that includes the eyes. You can notice the smile on the confident character, spreading to the eyebrows.

Naturalness

Above all, a confident person appears natural. He doesn't act like he's trying to control his body, nor that he needs it. For this reason, confident body language is generally evidence of true confidence rather than all acting. There is a fine line between what it is to appear confident, which shows signs of insecurity, and to express yourself with confidence and confidence in a natural way. Drawing this is difficult, but your character creates an almost instant connection with others if you do it.

Directness

Anxious people hedge their bets, preparing to escape. If your character feels confident, he can be direct, without the need to send signals that he is uncomfortable and ready to go out at any moment. Instead, you can participate confidently by interacting with the other person, showing that you feel safe.

Greeting

Assertively greeting another person, looking into the eyes, and smiling shows confidence. Keep your character with a relaxed body. If you shake hands, do so with a firm gesture without becoming too strong or aggressive.

Face to face with another person

When one person is confident and interacts with another, they may find themselves face-to-face, perhaps slightly leaning towards the other person. But beware! He does not do it dominantly, getting too close and too soon. The dominant person usually has insecurities and uses aggression to cover up a lack of confidence.

The confident person looks at others. You don't need to scan the environment for threats. They hook people with their gaze, which is relaxed without squinting, narrowing, or opening their eyes too wide. Observe our character's relaxed gaze, keeping his gaze and showing himself slightly inclined towards the other character, which is more in the background. You can see that his body, especially his head, is slightly displaced to his right, a little closer to his right foot than his left. Although curved in the form of an inverse C, his line of action remains inclined to the right, although only touch and barely perceptible to the naked eye, but enough to transmit self-confidence and confidence towards the other character.

Listen

Anxious or dominant people usually feel the need to talk. Confident people don't need to verify their beliefs or boost their egos, so they are comfortable just listening, which is a great way to get closer to other people.

Gestures

A confident person makes limited, firm, and gentle gestures, usually as a complement to amplify what he is saying. They do not perch defensively or make large, energetic movements to take up space. They normally use their hands with the palms open and relaxed.

At its core, trust is the lack (or effective control) of fear. A confident person does not seem threatened by others. But beware, this can lead to false confidence and naivety in the face of a real threat. This is why a confident person has a realistic threat assessment and contingency plan in place, so they know they can deal with the dangers that may arise.

There is a nice line among others interpreting your body language as a sign of confidence or arrogance, so you have to be careful with this. A calm and confident person is likable and admired. An arrogant person, on the other hand, does not usually like and despises himself. The distinction is that the proud person uses his confidence to gain position or status since he feels or wants to feel superior to others. The calm and confident person, on the other hand, feels the same with others.

Tips To Promote Trust In Your Partner

Trust is not always a choice. As much as you love a person, if they have not been able to show their concern and love for you, you may simply not be able to put (part of) your destiny in their hands. Various causes justify the lack of trust, but this is usually the plague of couples affected by infidelity. How to believe him again, give him confidence or even love him? Doubts assail the mind, like an eternal hum that makes us unable to sleep peacefully when we know that he is partying or even with his friends. Although it seems that all is lost, be clear: there is a way out of this situation. You just have to propose it.

Trust is also a mutual effort. You will not give all your trust to a person if he does not get involved. Like a flower garden, trust works. It cannot arrive suddenly and above all it needs tests. Evidence that we can open ourselves fully to this person. But remember that trusting does not mean letting go or closing your eyes to any problem or doubt. To avoid potential future dramas, be aware that things may not turn out well and that the person you love may, like anyone else, fail you. If you can anticipate negative feelings, value the confidence you can give a person, and communicate with respect and sincerity, you will have saved yourself many troubles. Or at least you can wear them better.

Whether you have just started a new relationship, are trying to overcome infidelity, or simply want to boost your current confidence, we give you 15 tips to save your relationship. It may take the time or cost you to apply them, be patient and see how you can modify each of them to your situation. Remember that each person is different, and those appearances are often deceptive. Trust takes time (don't be blinded by promises that may not be kept) and commitment. And most importantly, if you care about this person, don't lose hope of having the same relationship as in your beginnings.

Identify the reason.

Do you no longer trust him/her? The first thing is, without a doubt, to find out why. Sometimes the reason is obvious, but sometimes not so much. If you understand the reason for this weakness, you can advance better and strengthen your relationship.

Learn to trust yourself

After infidelity, it seems difficult to trust the person again. And it makes us rethink a series of things: How come I haven't seen anything? Could I have prevented it? These doubts reflect an absence of confidence in yourself. Keep this in mind in your next relationships and talk to your partner to convey mutual trust and confidence.

Recognize the patterns

You may not have earned it, but some patterns (and relationships) repeat themselves. Why? Because you always end up looking at the same type of people. If your previous relationships have not worked, it may be because you choose precisely people who do not correspond to you. Learn to recognize these patterns, so you don't stumble over the same stone again.

Community with respect

It seems obvious, and yet it is the most difficult thing to do: listen to the needs and fears of the other, on the one hand, and express your perception, on the other. Healthy communication requires respect and honesty. Everyone must have their space.

Anticipate negative feelings

Feeling angry or jealous about a situation is the most normal thing globally, especially after infidelity. These feelings will occasionally arise, learn to control them, and above all, identify them so that they do not harm you in your relationship.

Clarify your expectations

If you have just started a relationship, it is good to tell your partner what your expectations are for the future and what you do not want to live again. It will allow you to know if you want the same and above all, it will save you from very complicated situations due to lack of communication. Make clear what you think, so we will also boost confidence.

Try to see your partner objectively

Doesn't that suit you? Well, it is the greatest way to boost confidence. This is born of knowledge by what you try to see with eyes outside your environment, skills, and attitudes in different contexts. Also, do your introspection. It will help you see if this person reciprocates you.

Assess whether it deserves your trust

Love often blinds us, and it is good to have an outside perspective to analyze the situation. As much as you like this person, try to find out from your family and friends if they deserve a vote of confidence. If you are deeply in love with him, give him a chance, cautiously.

Apply the "shared screen" technique

If your ex-partners continue to condition you when it comes to trusting today, apply the "shared screen" mental technique: on the one hand, place your ex-boyfriend, and on the other hand, to your current partner. It will help you match and contrast your trust in each person and value your new relationship.

Do not carry your past

In a general way, do not speak of your past as "baggage." These lived experiences make you what you are, but they do not affect you in your new relationships. Learn from history without obsessing over it. And remember that each person is different.

Accept Risk Taking

If your companion has been unfaithful to you, they will naturally get defensive with a new person. Although some questions such as Is it worth it to be with a person knowing that he can also deceive me? Arise logically in your mind, do not reject love and all the opportunities it offers you. Accept the risks but don't limit yourself when it comes to trusting.

Accept your differences

You may not agree with everything and that some issues (such as children) separate you, but if you choose to get involved in this relationship, you accept the other as they are. Don't seek to change it or make it adapt to your own will. Trust is born out of mutual understanding and respect.

Spend more time together

Yes, it also seems obvious but physical contact unites. You will know the saying, "The touch makes the affection." The extra time you spend together, the more you should feel collaboration and trust.

Say goodbye to surveillance.

If you have been unfaithful, surely you feel the need to control at all costs everything your partner does precisely because of this loss of trust. You have two alternatives: either you give him a new chance, and you propose to trust him again little by little, or you do not see yourself able to trust him again in any way, and you leave him for your good. Controlling all their activities and relationships will not unite you anymore.

Go to therapy

If you feel that you cannot solve your problems alone, do not hesitate to go to a professional. It will guide you to learn to trust yourself and create a healthy relationship.

How To Project More Confidence

Projecting confidence is key to take advantage of the opportunities presented to you in the workplace. When a professional demonstrates that they have confidence in themselves, they can recognize their abilities and direct their efforts towards achieving their goals. On the contrary, lack of confidence will make fear prevent you from achieving your goals.

In this sense, security is the engine that will allow you to achieve your goals. Whether it is getting a new business, getting a promotion, or starting your project, the trust will help you overcome obstacles and make the best of each experience as an opportunity. Growth.

Working on their safety can be a complicated task, so it is important to create habits to boost your image; Consistency will help you improve certain aspects and convey greater confidence to your team. Here are some tips to achieve this:

Improve your speech: You must learn to communicate clearly and concisely, consider factors such as: speak slowly, practice your breathing, use an appropriate tone of voice, and take care of your body language since your movements should reinforce your arguments, not distract your interlocutor.

- Recognize your areas for improvement: A confident professional is aware of his or her abilities; however, working on your weaknesses to turn them into strengths will allow you to inspire confidence in your collaborators.

- Take care of your image: Choose the right clothing for the position you aspire to; a correct professional image not only projects security but also shows your interest in what you do.

- Do not improvise: It is normal to feel nervous before a meeting or conference; preparing yourself will help you overcome this situation since you will demonstrate confidence when presenting your arguments, and you will be able to share your ideas more easily with your interlocutor.

- Smile: Is one of the most critical components of non-verbal communication; it not only reflects confidence but also speaks of your ability to socialize.

- Greeting : When introducing yourself, a firm greeting is essential to show security and interest in our interlocutor; on the other hand, you must maintain eye contact and an upright posture.

The first time you interact with someone, pay attention to your body language, each of the aspects mentioned above influences your collaborators' perception. Showing security will help you join your team more easily; simultaneously, you will contribute to developing a work environment that promotes cooperation, facilitates communication, and stimulates productivity.

Are You Insecure? How To Gain Self-confidence

No one is 100% sure. We all have small vulnerabilities. The important thing is to understand yourself to overcome uncertainties. There are no completely safe people, although there are those who may pretend otherwise. We all know uncertainty, either because we would like to control the future or not appreciate ourselves enough.

But if we determine to live with our doubts and limitations and are aware that there are things in life beyond our control, we will gain security because we know how to deal with our anxieties. "I will only do it when I feel convinced of myself," we say many times when faced with a great challenge of work, affective, social, family, or economic nature. If they ask us when we will be safe, we will usually reply, "I don't know." We are not sure of the answer either.

Self-Confidence

What is it like to be sure of oneself? If we ask a question to a wide variety of people, we will find so many different answers that we may be surprised.

To be sure, I will say that I have no doubts about what to do and how to do it. Others said that being safe is about acting despite doubts and trusting the results of action.

For some, it is about being immune from criticism. For others, are these same criticisms listening without falling into self-devaluation? Perhaps this last option allows us to understand better the dynamics of insecurity to overcome it.

If we value p or what we are, that is, because we are here, for the easy and pleasant fact of living if that appreciation is transmitted to us through gestures, attitudes, and words if our achievements are recognized. Our aptitudes are used, we will understand soon, we are related to others.

From our early practices, we will feel that we are not required to justify our existence, that we are not loved in exchange for what we do or do not do, but because we are deemed worthy of love, thus, without compensation. Genuine love and appreciation, given to us because we exist, are basic security construction pillars.

False Ideas About Self-confidence

When we have not learned to feel valuable for ourselves, we are likely to search for models. An internal voice tells us: "Just as I am, I am not worth too much, my resources are scarce or weak; Being who I am, I will achieve nothing, so I must be like "That guy," they do feel sure of themselves."

We commit to these standards all the conditions that, as we imagine, make up the safety of a person. That is, we place in them everything that we do not recognize in ourselves.

Thus, we will see them as beings who do not doubt, who feel strong, who do not admit objections, who travel the highways of life like huge and powerful trucks before all other vehicles turn away. We create an ideal of security that, like all ideals of the self forged from deficiencies, becomes an unattainable goal and, by its very presence, painful.

It is worth saying that to compensate for our feeling of insecurity, we propose a security model so far removed from true human emotional constructions that it ends up being impossible and, in the end, creates even more insecurity for us. It must be said soon: there are no people who do not doubt, who do not fear, who are unaware of uncertainty. Those who claim to be on the fringes of these human experiences hide, in truth, great insecurity.

When the possibility of defeat, of mistake, of doubt, of not having control over something or someone is not admitted, when criticism is feared, when one lives under the overwhelming pressure of demands, it is often appealed to compensation mechanisms created to hide all that.

Doubts Away

The greater the doubt, I will try to demonstrate greater conviction; the greater fear, I will try to show greater recklessness; the more hesitation, the more momentum. I can convince others that I am a safe person, but I will never convince myself; I will live all my actions with a great inner tension load, pending that I am not seen as doubtful, uncertain, fearful. And that will have huge present and future emotional costs.

To sustain that image, I will have to close every door that leads to the interior of myself, and I will have to censor all questions about myself, my feelings, my searches, and my needs. Denying insecurity does not make us feel safe. It turns us into beings that block areas of their psychic and emotional world and, therefore, are left in a situation of greater vulnerability. On the contrary, accepting doubts, fears and uncertainties allow us to ask ourselves what we need to face each situation in our life.

And it leads us to explore what resources we need are in us and what stage of development. What do we need to strengthen them? What help should we ask and, from whom, how to achieve it in an equanimous and functional way. In other words, it helps us transform and grow. Those who build an image of unshakable security and present themselves to the world clinging to it are prisoners of that facade.

Those who admit their deficiencies, their imperfections, are more whole and free. The great psychotherapist Viktor Frankl pointed out that when a person discovers and accepts their values and aptitudes, they stop configuring themselves by pursuing external models, so often illusory and false, and gain the freedom to be in your way.

This is, in my opinion, the most powerful antidote to insecurity. The more we know ourselves in our possibilities and our limitations, the more we value ourselves with what we have and with what we don't, the better we are in a position to assume our existence in the here and now.

The Fear Of The Future

It is definitely in the here and now where our life takes place. Insecurity, like fear or anxiety, is related to what has not yet happened, and we do not know if it will happen. It is not in what happens at this moment but in what will come.

What will happen if I am wrong? How do they react if I can't? What will convert me if I don't? Review the main verbs in these sentences, and you will see that they are formulated in the future tense. Add other phrases taken from your harvest and referring to insecurity, and you will see that the same thing happens. Insecurity uproots us from the present, takes away our axis of living.

In his beautiful book The Wisdom of Insecurity (Ed. Kairós), the philosopher Alan Watts points out how we cling to the illusion of controlling the future. We believe that if we could look at it with certainty, we would know what to do and avoid where not to go. Where not to look out? What to choose?

The dream of establishing the future leads us to believe that, if it were possible, we would live a completely safe life. And through there, we come to the other large source of self-doubt. The beginning, as we saw, is not having been adequately valued and accepted with our idiosyncrasies. The second is the non-acceptance of change as an indispensable component of life. Life is a succession of uncertainties. Instability is, therefore, inherent in it. Accepting it will make us live safer.

The Pillars Of Self-safety

Let us analyze this paradox when I know that not everything depends on me when I recognize that there were factors beyond my decision, my will, and my control when I verified that my possibilities have limits, freedom, and ability to choose to improve.

By allowing everything that does not depend on me and I can not assure myself, I can concentrate on what does concern me, on my resources and possibilities. When I know that I cannot do everything, I will do better than I can.

The safest person is not the one who knows and can do everything but the one who knows what things he ignores and applies in what he knows. Thus, we can arrange the pillars on which security is built:

Sincerely explore the inner world to know your resources and accept your limitations.

Believe who we are and value what we are, rather than aspiring to be another, to be an ideal of illusion. Assume that, in life, many events are out of our control. We cannot give assurances about them, nor can we ask for them.

Focus on those actions that depend on us and utilize our available resources to them. Include doubt, uncertainty, perplexity as possible companions for our actions and decisions, knowing that they are part of human passions and sensations, and without struggling with them. It is not the absence of doubts, fears, and questions that will make you a confident person, but your ability to act with them and your satisfaction with the processes rather than the results. What gives us security is having been faithful to our thoughts and feelings and honest in using our resources.

Do your thing with your heart and detach from the results; it would be the slogan that leads to safety. When you stick to the result and how others will value it, you incubate the germ of insecurity.

It must be said soon: there are no people who do not doubt, who do not fear, who are unaware of uncertainty. Those who claim to be on the fringes of these human experiences hide, in truth, great insecurity.

Starting from this meaning, we find a series of terms that also use the concept we are now analyzing. This would be the predicament, for example, of the expression "breach of trust." With it, what is meant is that someone to whom another person has supported and given credit at all times has taken advantage of that circumstance, consciously or unconsciously, to harm or make fun of her.

Similarly, we cannot ignore another term that similarly uses the word we are dealing with now. It is a "vote of confidence." With this expression, you want to show that someone authorizes another person to carry out a certain action.

However, the same expression is used in the political arena. And it is that with it, it is established that, within legislative chambers, the members of the same give their support and acceptance to the actions that the reigning government is carrying out in a specific area or situation. Similarly, it is also used to refer to when those give authorization to the government entity to undertake certain tasks.

Precisely within the aforementioned political sector, there is also the expression "question of trust." With it, it comes to refer to a process by which the head of state or government is analyzed by the rest of the legislative chamber members in order, through a corresponding vote, to choose whether or not they should continue to carry out their functions.

Resolution refers, on the other hand, to familiarity in dealing: "You don't have to comb your hair every time I go to your house, we already have enough confidence," "How dare you talk to me like that? I never gave you such confidence. "

For social psychology and sociology, trust is a hypothesis made about others' future behavior. It is a belief that estimates that a person will be able to act distinctly when faced with a certain situation: "I am going to tell my father everything, I am confident that he will understand me and help me."

In this sense, trust can be strengthened or weakened according to the actions of the other person. In the example above, if the father helps his son, the trust will be strengthened; otherwise, the trust will be betrayed, and, in the future, the child will most likely not act in the same way.

Trust supposes a suspension, at least temporarily, of the uncertainty regarding the actions of others. When someone trusts the other, they believe that they can predict their actions and behaviors. Trust, therefore, simplifies social relationships.

The Art Of Flirting Based On Confidence And Good Self-esteem

Self-confidence and self-esteem are concepts of a psychological nature that greatly influence when meeting new people.

When what we are also looking for is to have an entertaining conversation with someone but to flirt, these two aspects' relevance is even greater. Here we will see some key ideas to know how to comment on them in this area of life.

Self-confidence and self-esteem in its expression when seducing

It would be a disagreement to think that people who have problems acting with confidence when flirting suffer this problem because they have low self-esteem or because they do not believe in themselves in a global sense. It is very common to meet people who generally trust their abilities in contexts that they face almost every day, such as studies or work, but who at the same time falter when they show self-confidence in specific situations they face. They confront each other in less systematic ways, such as when trying to flirt on weekends.

And it is that self-esteem and self-confidence are not completely homogeneous elements. Still, they have several facets and can change depending on the situation to which we are exposed. Many shy people are confident when speaking in front of an audience about a topic that fascinates them and they know well. Simultaneously, those who are usually popular can become insecure and vulnerable if they have to speak in front of the public about something they do not know well.

This means that to enhance our fluency in one area of social life, we must work in that area and not in any other.

Thus, the fundamental thing is to develop self-confidence and behavior patterns that promote self-esteem, specifically in seduction for the present case. Of course, working on self-esteem in a global sense, in the face of life as a whole, is important and contributes to making social interactions normally more fluid and enjoyable.

However, we should not stop at that, which can be used as an excuse for not having to "leave the comfort zone" and start developing communication skills based on meeting people and, why not, also seduction. Given that these types of challenges occur specifically in social interaction overcoming them must also focus on this type of social experience and not on others. In other words, the keys to developing self-confidence and self-esteem should be linked to the act of breaking the ice, showing interest, asserting yourself to people we don't know, and, in general, flirting. Let's see several ideas about it.

Four communicative keys to express seductive self-confidence when flirting

These are several fundamental psychological keys that you must consider to gain ease and confidence when flirting.

Boost Your Self-confidence From Improvisation

Memorizing "pre-made" phrases when flirting is a mistake. At most, you can use one from time to time to break the ice and start a conversation, but once you are in the dialogue proper, what matters is the fluency and social skills applied at the moment, not the witty phrases read in a book or on the Internet. Seducing is, among other things, knowing how to adapt, responding to the focuses of interest that unite them both, and creating a comfortable climate that is comfortable.

Of course, improvising in this way is more complex than applying a sequence of guidelines that we can follow step by step. However, although this fact complicates things, at the same time, it provides another element that contributes to making everything easier, and that we will see in the next point.

Self-confidence is demonstrated by assuming the imperfection of communication.

In the end, the ability to create technically perfect conversations is much less seductive than the attitude of self-confidence that is present by assuming that the conversation will have expendable or outright absurd moments. Self-esteem and charisma are shown in accepting that the important thing is not the technical correction but the stimulating sensations and emotions in the dialogue.

Obsessing not making mistakes keeps our mind divided on several fronts (and therefore more vulnerable to going blank) and denotes fragility. In this way, it seems that we hide in that succession of words and gestures.

People with more ability to flirt take it for granted that sometimes there will be misunderstandings or exchanges of ideas that are not very informative. Still, they can turn this into a display of attitude and even fun experiences that lend themselves to the joke. Due to this, it is usual that when seducing, the act of trying to perform ridiculous actions works: the very intention of doing that and showing that we do it while being aware of how absurd it is makes it, paradoxically, not ridiculous.

The Fear Of Rejection Is Based On An Illusion

This does not mean that the fear of rejection does not exist; On the contrary, it is a very real phenomenon and whose appearance (to a greater or lesser degree of intensity) is not rare, even in people who are better at flirting. The point is that on the one hand, as we have seen, we must not fight to eliminate the fear of rejection from our mind, and on the other, it must be clear that it is not based on facts that can reveal very unvarnished truths. Uncomfortable about who we are.

The fear of rejection has to do with anticipating the distressing implications of someone showing disinterest in us. This can very well happen: there are no reasons to assume that everyone finds us fascinating. But does this say something very bad about our identity? If they reject us, we seek to bring positions closer because they don't know us well in the vast preponderance of cases.

On the other hand, hardly a single interaction or series of a few interactions with someone will give us a realistic reflection on who we are. Self-concept, our idea of "I," is built over time and through hundreds of experiences. Having someone say "yes" or "no" at a point in the conversation is not going to break the schemes from which we analyze who we are, as frustrating as it can sometimes be.

Without Practice, There Is No Progress

Finally, knowing all of the above is of little use if it is not put into practice. To develop the social and emotional management skills necessary to flirt, you have to apply them to reality. For this reason, many people go to the psychologist to obtain the theory and a series of guidelines to commit to this process of change and use it effectively and avoid unnecessary frustrations, starting with what works for "beginners" and ending for the most ambitious challenges.

Trust Is The Key To Attracting Women

Have you ever tried to begin a dialogue with a wonderful woman, only to find yourself drowning in your own words and stuttering like a maniac?

There is something about the image of meeting an attractive woman that turns men into jellyfish, but if you can overcome this fear and learn to be confident with women, you will look much more attractive.

If you're not feeling confident, show confidence anyway. In other words, pretend until you do.

It's not simple, but if you work hard to maintain strong body language and to keep your words in check, you will gradually begin to feel the confidence that you only intended to have at first. Remember, practice makes perfect.

And while we're on the point of practice, you must put yourself in place to be around attractive women as much as possible.

If you find it challenging to stay calm with pretty girls, visit strip clubs, hostess bars, modeling events, and anywhere you know, attractive women will be in abundance.

Don't try to get involved with some of these women; hang out and have fun joking around. By regularly placing yourself in these settings and forcing yourself to interact with them, beautiful women will lose their charisma. It will be much more relaxed for you to communicate with them in any setting.

Also, sign up for dance or yoga classes. You will meet many women on these sites, and you can have fun just interacting and having fun with them.

And as a bonus, women associate sexuality with men who can dance, so it's a situation you have nowhere to lose.

Last, and perhaps most important, erase the thought of outcome dependency from your mind. By not worrying about the result, you relieve yourself of the pressure, and it becomes easier to have fun and do your best.

Treat beautiful women exactly as you would any other girl, and stick to your original game plan, no matter how much you are tempted to revert to your old habits.

I always have a positive attitude, and it is the first step to achieve success with women. Therefore you must make an internal change in yourself.

If you thought you would get a girl's attention by playing the victim, you would only achieve her pity. Therefore, it is recommended that you show yourself happy, positive and show that being by your side is the greatest thing to happen to her.

It shows security, and it happens to many men that they feel a little intimidated by women since they are afraid of failure or making a fool of themselves.

Therefore, to achieve success, you must put aside fears, anxieties, and nerves and just be yourself.

There is no magic secret to being confident with women. Like everything, it's just a matter of changing your mindset.

Confidence Attracts Women, Discover How To Show Confidence

Showing confidence is easy for many men when they are with other men, but the game changes when they are in front of a girl they like, sadly. So don't be surprised if you feel nervous or insecure when talking to a girl you like. Nevertheless, you should know that trust is the first thing you should develop if you are interested in seducing her. While gaining confidence can be difficult, you can at least pretend you have it and get it to notice you.

Go straight to the point

Some men fail to express themselves well when in front of a woman they like. As a consequence of this, they end up over-explaining to you. If you want the female of your dreams to be attracted to you, you must not allow nerves and fear to eat you up. Instead of hinting that she knows you want to ask her out, tell her that you want to ask her out. Instead of asking indirect questions in the hope of getting the answer to the question currently in your head, ask the question. In this way, you will avoid looking like a lost child, and you will finally have the necessary answer.

Show your softer side

Don't be scared to show a little emotion. Women respond well to men who can express some emotion. To work, you need to show your true feelings and share with her things that you are genuinely passionate about. Once she discovers that you can value the things that excite you, she will appreciate you much more. However, avoid losing your appeal easily when it starts to lead to the wrong things. If you start to get emotional in negative terms, she will think that there is something wrong with you and immediately walk away.

Do not ask for their approval

Nothing shows less confidence in a man than feeling the need for constant compliments. Allow yourself to earn the compliments and handle your reactions correctly. If she offers you a compliment, politely thank her and tell her that you appreciate her for noticing. This will make her see that you are a man who has confidence in himself and does not need anyone's approval. Which by itself will help you appear much more attractive and will make him fall head over heels in love with you.

The truth is, if you show enough confidence, you won't even need to try too hard to attract any woman you want. So start practicing these tips right now and make her feel attracted to you almost instantly.