Alpha Male Bible: Become a Casanova! Learn Charisma, Confidence, Self-Hypnosis, Eye Contact, Dating Strategies, Psychology of Attraction, Flirt With ... & Self-Discipline of a Real Seducer Man - Dale Cardone 2021
The Power Of Eye Contact
Eye contact is a very effective means of communication, relevant in practically all communicative contexts, except when this is not possible. It is important, for example, in job interviews, to socialize with strangers or when showing intense emotions of happiness, anger, or fear.
There are different types of eye contact, each having a different meaning. Through visual contact, emotions and thoughts can be exchanged, often supporting verbal language and fostering the connection between the sender and the receiver. In Psychology-Online, we explain the ins and outs of eye contact in psychology, the types, and the meaning of each one.
What Is Eye Contact?
Eyes are understood to be the situation in which two people's gazes are fixed on the other's eyes. This is a really powerful means of communication, being a clear case of non-verbal communication.
This eye contact allows us to interpret other people's emotions, as well as transmit our own.
For example, if we see someone with a flushed face and a frown, their gaze probably denotes large doses of anger or anger. In this way, a connection is established between their gaze and ours, and this anger is much easier for us to interpret and even know the degree or intensity of it. Therefore, eye contact is considered as important as a source of emotional information.
The Importance Of Eye Contact
The fact that eye contact acquires such relevance at a communicative level is not mere chance since it allows many interactions between the receiver and the sender. It is very important when it comes to active listening or expressing emotions.
It is also necessary to talk about eye contact's relevance as almost a requirement for communication to begin. Normally, when we address or want to address someone, we unconsciously look them directly in the eye, thus capturing their attention and giving them the signal that we want to communicate something.
Eye contact is also relevant when establishing and respecting speaking turns. If another person speaking to us suddenly shuts up and looks at us, they are probably waiting for our intervention.
Besides, it is necessary to distinguish different types of eye contact, from the most intense and prolonged, the curious, or, on the contrary, the absence of eye contact or elusive glances. We will see all this in the next section.
Types Of Looks In Psychology
There are different ways of looking at others. Now we discuss some examples and their usual meaning. However, it should be added that the meaning of a look is sometimes difficult to catalog, as it depends on many personal and contextual factors and who interprets it.
The Types Of Gazes In Psychology And Their Meaning
Intense and prolonged eye contact denotes attention to what the interlocutor wants to convey or to his actions. A slight lift of the eyebrows usually accompanies it. However, if this look is too pushy or aggressive, it may be a challenging look.
What does it mean to avoid eye contact? If a person avoids looking another person in the eye, it is usually because they feel threatened, insecure, or embarrassed, for some reason. Looking away in psychology means insecurity or shame.
If a person looks at us with narrowed eyes, it is usually because they are on the defensive or distrust us, or they expect an attack of some kind.
This action is usually due to a high level of nerves, denoting restlessness, shame, or it may even be due to this person being attracted to the person they communicate with. If that's the case, the following information on how to calm your nerves before a first date may help.
Our students tend to dilate when something is interesting to us. We could even say fascinating; this usually occurs when there is a surprise or a genuine interest in the other person. Pupil dilation is a physiological reaction that occurs when a person sees something that attracts them. Another interesting physiological reaction is blushing. Find out in this article why we turn red when we are ashamed.
What We Say Through The Gaze, By Science.
It is said that the face is the mirror of the soul and, if there is any part that must carry that emotional charge, it is without a doubt the eyes. What does the look tell us?
It is said that the face is the mirror of the soul and, if there is any part that must carry that emotional load, it is without a doubt the eyes. More or less expressive, they usually give us away if we are tired or sad, happy or angry, in love and spiteful. The eyes have been the inspiration for songs and poems and have been characterized by the beauty they give to the face. We close them if we want to turn off the world, and we keep them open when we don't want anything to escape us. We put makeup on them, hide them behind sunglasses, and even change their color with contact lenses. But those are not its only functions.
The eyes are a crucial part of non-verbal language, and what we express with them is infinite. So says Ronald E. Riggio, the professor of leadership and psychological organization for well-known businessman Henry R. Kravis and a former professor at Claremont McKenna College. In an article published in Psychology Today, he claims to draw on the Research that science has carried out so far to extract some interesting data about the power of the gaze and what we transmit thanks to it. Its main conclusions are summarized in five points.
Eye Staring into another person's eyes generates an arousal reaction, although its interpretation varies depending on the context. When a newcomer looks at us for a long time, we can see it as a threat and experience fear or anguish. This attitude is very common in animals, which feel threatened if a human stares them in the eye. However, it is also possible to become sexually aroused thanks to eye contact and interpret it as an invitation to have sex.
Eyes Reveal The Honesty Of A Smile
Psychologist Paul Ekman has distinguished between smiles representing genuine happiness and fake smiles used to fake happiness or cover any other emotion. The solution to distinguishing one from the other is to observe the gaze of the person in question. When the smile is honest, the eyes narrow, and the crow's feet are generated at the ends.
Pupil Dilation Is A Sign Of Interest
As Riggio explains, when something interests us, our pupils dilate. But, besides, that dilation makes us look sexier. The professor cites a study in which the pupils' size was artificially altered in a photo of the same woman. Both photos were compared, identical except for the dilation's size, and those that had a larger dilation were rated as more attractive than those shown with normal-size pupils.
The Reciprocal Gaze Is A Sign Of Love
Research studying topics related to love and attraction has concluded that looking closely at each other and observing each other is almost a guarantee that the people involved are in love.
Eye Contact Gives Rise To Deception
Normally, and as has been said, eye contact and looking at something is usually a sign of interest, love, affection, or derivatives. Thus, a liar does not usually look into the eyes, and that this is a fundamental characteristic of his non-verbal language. However, according to Riggio, Research has shown that people tend to lie and make more eye contact. They put more energy into trying to convince their interlocutor of something that is not true. On the other hand, the truth-teller does not need to prove anything and may be distracted if he is not looking at us.
Keys To Non-verbal Language: The Four Views That Work
We often hear about the significance of knowing the non-verbal language to identify what our interlocutors are telling us. This is what your eyes say.
We are what we communicate. They accompany us, follow us, and believe us because of what we say and how we move, gesture, look, and even how we smile. Your gestures give you away. The keys to being a good communicator (Espasa), Fran Carrillo raises some of the keys that we must know about non-verbal language to understand everything that our interlocutors suggest and know how to act to convey exactly what interests us. In the extract we collect, he talks about the messages we send and are sent to us through the eyes. It raises the existence of four types of looks, their meaning, and how to identify them.
What Your Looks Say
An intelligent development manager of a multinational company in the Insurance sector, he always lost business opportunities due to his inability to manage his look. However, with a friendly face when the moment of truth arrived, he would divert his pupils to the point that the interlocutor began to suspect if he was not giving her a hoot.
Their insecurity generates more insecurity. His eyes were dilated more than necessary when he became tense, and his eyebrows ceased to have a precise sense when they arched or wrinkled, highlighting the latent and patent lack of control of his face. Psychology tells us that the look is closely related to our state of mind. In our contact with the public, we participate in a challenge in which two gazes face each other, and ours almost always lives trapped by fear and the constant feeling of ridicule.
You can't help not looking because eye contact is the main element of connection with the listener. It is the most direct way to make you participate, to get involved in your intervention. Bad control of the gaze will cause us to express discomfort and discomfort to those who listen to us; a full mastery of it will turn us into stage winners of the moment. And it is that the eyes, as part of the facial language, express what the message is often silent.
We always say that we distrust someone who does not look at us when they are telling us something, whether it is important or not, who averts their gaze only once or twice, but always at the moment of telling us exactly what is so relevant that we want to hear, what they are for.
Has summoned us. You can't help not looking because eye contact is the main element of connection with the listener. That elusive gaze conveys insecurity. Like an edgy look, especially if we reinforce it with a frown, which induces us to focus our attention more on the paper, on the table, or on any secondary aspect of the room or object in the environment rather than initiating that contact visual with the audience - don't forget this - the true main actor of the intervention.
In the same way, we do not believe one hundred percent who stares at us, bringing his iris to the limit of tears, or who averts his eyes in a conversation more than once without explanation (exaggerated blinking falls into the category of courtship subtle, that moment of seduction between a man and a woman, two men or two women, which Flora Davis explains well in her masterpiece on non-verbal communication). I gave it the following analogy so that he would understand what I meant: when you communicate in public, and your gaze should function as the beacon for the ships that dock in port. If you are writing a large audience, you should focus on a permanent lighting sweep.
You are looking from one side to the other, without concentrating on any one in particular, at a speed inherent to your message's rhythm. The slower you speak, the slower your gaze should be until you decide to project it onto someone in particular. If you do this, keep in mind that those present's attention will increase because they detected an evident decrease in your communication speed, and they will wonder why it is. That you fix your eyes on a specific person does not mean anything (regardless of whether you feel comfortable looking at them): actually, you do it because it makes it easier for you to specify your main message and, from that physical starting point, extend it to the rest of those present the contagion effect.
The Four Looks Of Power
Once sure that I had understood it, I entrusted her with a technique promoted by Rubén Turienzo, who will not mind if I borrow his original way of qualifying the three most frequent looks that intervene in a communication between two or more people. As a world benchmark for charisma and personal influence, he designed a powerful gaze control and management strategy to achieve the desired effect in an audience when communicating.
I got it to apply it in his internal presentations, meetings with VIP and strategic clients, and even open conferences before different audiences. To the three looks that Rubén proposed, I added a fourth. Now I entrust them to you, dear reader. With the following techniques, you will learn to look differently without losing an iota of your communicative power, although I warn that this type of strategies are especially applicable to contexts in which you must communicate before a not very large group of people - about fifteen or twenty-; in large audiences, of one hundred, two hundred or a thousand people, they have no reason to exist, and their effect is not as long-lasting.
The butter looks. We are defined like this because it mimics the movement we make when we spread slices of toast. We carry out the sweeping sequence that we do with our eyes when we do not want to focus on any specific focus from one side to the other. The goal is to involve the entire audience in our speech. When we apply this type of look, our words' speed must be moderate or even high, fluid, although without reaching extremes that impede their correct understanding and intelligibility. In the same way, our body expression must adjust to that rhythm, and we must gesticulate just enough so that word and gestural movement go hand in hand.
The cheese looks (melted). Name that refers to the analogy with that piece of pizza that remains stuck to its cardboard container by a glob of melted cheese that, no matter how much we stretch, does not break until we bring the pizza slice to such a height that it does not fit any choice but to shed its roots. When we communicate in public, we must apply this gaze at times of slowdown in our speech. From that comprehensive look with which everyone felt involved and that we drove comfortably at a controlled speed, we now move on to another that paces a less rapid pace of speech, in which we already increase the seconds we dedicate to each one, time slows down.
We remain for a few moments looking at each other's gaze. With this, we are warning our receptors that something important is coming because they observe how our body begins to emit more leisurely movements, less gesticulated, with almost perfect control. We flow from tranquility, and the pauses are more pronounced; it is the prelude to what will come next.
The caramel look. And what comes later is the look that serves to fix the messages - like that candy that you take out of your mouth to later retrieve it from the paper in which you left it and observe that it remains glued to it and that it is difficult for you to tear it from its base -, serves to focus attention and provoke memory. We have already swept the room with our butter gaze, we have focused the attention of those present with those melted cheese eyes, and now is the time to generate communicative tension.
We stop our speech, fix our posture and focus our gaze on a single person. Why does it attract our attention more than others? Because we like it? No, because that way, our message will come out better. When we feel it —the message— with our body and say it with our mouth, the second by itself is not enough. It would be best if you had facial and body engagement to validate what you say. You focus on someone, the alternating movement of light stops, and your words come out with the right speed towards all the interlocutors. You are saying to them, “Hey, this is important!, Remember it, you can forget the rest, but if this fragment you I have said it that way, and I have staged it for you in this detailed way because I consider it to be the fundamental part of my intervention, the one that you should not forget ”. It is a powerful look that generates power in those who know how to represent it well.
The bubblegum look. Finally, and in a later phase, we come to this fourth variant; The gum is chewed, stretched, and savored, but there comes a time when overexposure, the time to play with it, ends up tired your jaw (your gaze) and leaves your ability to persuade dull. You perceive that it is the moment to no longer focus the attention of those present on your non-verbal communication (eyes included) when you see that, progressively, their gaze begins to show fatigue: they deflect it, lower it or concentrate it on another object or another person in the room. At that moment, you have to conclude that message and, why not, your intervention.
ways to use eye contact in a meeting to get what you want
Have you been in an interview where you felt like you lost the interviewer's attention? Good, attentive listening always goes hand-in-hand with good eye contact, it's a universal truth, and we usually find ourselves staring intensely at people saying important things.
Eye contact is not only a good indicator of a person's interest, but it also has the power to persuade. Think of an interview as an excuse to win over a new person. It is the same as when you meet a new friend or go to a networking event; the only thing different is the prior training that can be done.
To create a fabulous impression, the key is to become a personable person, aware of your surroundings, and you want to see yourself engaged without being obsessed. Eye contact is the best way to be personable and inspire confidence from the moment you walk into a room. Since 93 percent of first impressions have nothing to do with what is being said, body language is a critical component of the process...
These suggestions will assist you in making a positive impression on the next person you meet.
Make A Good Impression
Stable, smooth eye contact is best during business meetings. Keep your eye contact casual, something that is warm, connected, and engaged, but not fixed all the time. The moment you stare into someone's gaze, you make everything feel uncomfortable and unnatural.
For example, let's say you are having dinner with your friends and you are telling a story to four people, but your gaze is only focused on one. It is upsetting to others who are not getting the benefit of your gaze and can make them feel like they are not included in the situation.
A meeting does not question that if there is more than one person in the room, you will want to make eye contact with everyone casually, moving from one to the other, making sure everyone feels included, and making a lasting impression—Channel what you feel when you are talking to a person who seems interesting to you.
The eyes are the window of the soul. So when you're meeting someone, use eye contact to appeal to their energy and enthusiasm. When you have that kind, open, willing, and friendly touch in your eyes, it's easy for people to trust you.
Confidence has a lot to do with your energy. When you meet a potential client, you have to establish who you are from the moment you enter the building, so it is important to greet the person who greets you at the reception in a friendly way and make eye contact with everyone. People want to hire employees they like and trust, so take a look at everyone in your path to establish the perfect energy to set you up for a great meeting.
This has to be present and aware of what you are seeing, and you can demonstrate these skills in a meeting. Take a moment to scan the place and notice something interesting on the other person's desk (you can even mention it) and make sure you look it in the eye. This can help the person remember you better when the meeting is over.
When I was an actor and had just moved to Los Angeles, I walked into an agent's office for an interview and was blown away by the photographs on the walls. It turned out that he had taken those incredible images while on safari in Africa. Before I even sat down, we started chatting about his photos, and I genuinely complimented his work. The fact that I was interested in his part set a different (and positive) tone to the rest of our conversation.
When someone notices a twinkle in your eyes, they can realize that something interests you and create a connection that will continue to be on work-related and non-work-related topics.
Recently, a customer of mine in real estate acquisitions contacted an owner who he knew had been a senator. As they chatted, my client asked her genuine questions about the Vietnam War, and the former senator was immediately grateful for my client's interest in his personal life, which made them instantly connect, build rapport, and establish trust - all. With interest and eye contact. They found common ground that could be translated into business later.
Get used to looking up or to the side, but not down. The moment you look down, you show insecurity. When you look up, you are strengthening your energy, staying in line with optimism and curiosity, and keeping yourself open to receiving the other person's energy. In terms of eye contact, looking up developments and invites interaction, while looking down leads to fear.
Let's say that during an interview, you are asked a question that you cannot answer. Instead of looking down and cutting off your energy from the other person, look up to make it seem like you're thinking openly and confidently. Body language expert Anne Cuddy gave an excellent TED Talk about the power of your presence and how to boost the production of chemicals and endorphins in your body through your presence alone. Through muscle energy testing, we have found that eye contact is similar in energy production.
Body language and eye contact are often overlooked, but understanding the impact of each can help you master the art of persuasion.
Your eyes speak for you.
To a certain extent, we can check our faces, our gestures, and postures, but we cannot 'manipulate' the blink rate or pupil dilation as we wish. Our eyes' behavior concerning body language is the most unconscious of all; therefore, interpreting their movements will be reliable to establish real meanings based on the individual's non-verbal communication.
In general and in similar light conditions, Research has shown that the pupils dilate when faced with a stimulus that is attractive to us, that we like; The opposite occurs when something generates rejection, fear, or disgust, the pupil's contract. This resource has been widely used in product testing by large marketing and advertising companies.
Blocking eye contact, covering or closing our eyes, is one of the most obvious and common things we do when worried, frustrated, or struggling with something (emotionally speaking). When we feel shame or guilt, we stop seeing and believe that we can stop being seen by others; it is a way of disappearing and protecting ourselves.
According to expert Joe Navarro: "Research also shows that when we are nervous or in trouble, our blink rate increases, a phenomenon that is often seen with liars, but also frequently with people who are under great stress. I wouldn't call anyone a liar just because his blink rate is increasing, although while studying Richard Nixon, I noticed that when he was debating with the press, his blink rate ranged from roughly 12 per minute to 68 times per minute. During his deposition, Bill Clinton showed a high blink rate, sometimes over 92 per minute, but again these were people under a lot of stress. "
"When interpreting the behavior of the eyes, there are many misconceptions. Some mistakenly perceive little, or no eye contact as a classic sign of deception, especially during questioning, while the sincere person must "close their eyes." This is not supported by Research and is completely false. Alder Vrij and others have noticed that liars tend to have more eye contact because they know we are looking for deception signs. "
The Best Ways To Conquer Her With Just One Look
Learn to conquer it in 4.5 seconds; just one look is enough!
Eye contact is key when flirting is no mystery.
Although body language also sends messages, according to experts, eye contact is the most effective method to conquer. For something, they say that the eyes are windows to your heart and that your gaze is more communicative than you imagine.
80% of the information you receive enters through the eyes and is the most receptive sense. When someone is looking at you, you immediately notice, and your brain begins to take mental notes about that person depending on how they are looking at you.
For example, if your brain perceives that someone is looking at you simultaneously as many people, it stops recording information and discards it. On the other hand, if they are only looking at you, they will alert you, and you will feel the need to look at them again.
So eye contact is vital for communicating all kinds of emotions, particularly attraction signals, making it the most important resource when flirting. And there are five infallible techniques to achieve it (without looking crazy).
Maintain Eye Contact For 4.5 Seconds
When you look at someone, it takes your brain three seconds to scan their face, so doing it for a second and a half long is a way of letting them know that they held your attention longer than anyone else. But beware! Holding it for ten seconds will be sending one of two messages: you want to have sex, or you are about to fight over something.
After all, looks are one of the best foreplay to have good sex.
Sustained eye contact for a long time produces very strong emotional reactions. Besides, it activates the nervous system, raises the pulse, and stimulates blood circulation. So as subtle as it may sound, holding your gaze for a few seconds is a clear sign of flirting.
Look At It, Look Away, And Look At It Again!
When you are with other people, it can be more difficult to flirt.
The trick is to have eye contact with the person you are interested in, and while they are looking at you, look at the rest of the people, and then look at them again. This is the most effective way to let her know that he was the first person to attract you, and even if you have looked at the rest, he is still the one who interests you.
And if you are alone with her, you can also put it into practice!
Let her understand that you are interested in breaking eye contact by looking down and then looking up again.
On the other hand, if his gaze drifts to the side or up immediately after making eye contact and he does not look at you again, he is most likely not interested.
Follow this advice, and in 10-15 seconds, you will have your answer: either you have conquered it, or you should definitely take another look at the others - maybe there is someone else that you discarded very quickly.
According to various eye movement studies, when we make eye contact with other people, our gaze tends to rest on strategic points on their faces.
When looking at a stranger or in professional situations, we usually make a triangle from one eye to the other and end in the space between the nose and the mouth.
In friendlier situations, the triangle widens, and we look down at the mouth.
On the other hand, with people who seem attractive to us, we tend to lower our gaze much lower, including our chest (yes, you know why men cannot contain themselves, it's a natural reaction!).
And the more intense the flirting gets, the quicker, more passionate, and more constant eye contact becomes, followed by long periods spent at the mouth.
If the movies have taught us anything, blinking is a clear form of flirting, but it works! The truth is that when you're looking at someone you like, you tend to blink more than normal.
It's been proven that the brain associates blinking with attraction, so the more you blink, the clearer it is that they like you. And the greatest thing is that it is reciprocal; when you feel that someone blinks at you more attracted you will feel towards that person.
So use it to your advantage!
Increase the frequency with which you blink, and if he unconsciously likes you, he will synchronize with you, increasing the level of attraction between the two of you. Of course, now do not shy away if he blinks a little because it does not mean that he is disinterested.
When you are completely absorbed in a conversation, busy or very entertained, you blink less so you don't miss a second.
But what then?
Use common sense, analyze his body language and the situation, and it will be clear to you if he is flirting with you back or not.
Sting Her Eye
The classic, incomparable and infallible wink or eye sting.
Accompany her with a sexy smile; it is a very effective way of letting her know that you are connected with her. And if you want to be more daring, try it with both eyes at the same time.
Before you start juggling, what we mean is blink in practically slow motion.
But considering that blinking takes milliseconds in slow motion does not mean that you close your eyes (freak). Just consciously blink once a little more slowly.
Now, if you are ready to go out and conquer with your best weapon: your eyes.
Everything is valid in war and love, right?
The Secrets Of Eye Contact
Contact is very important when it comes to communication. Not only serve to modulate the conversation and convey feelings and ideas. Learning to crack their codes can give you a lot of information about others.
Eye communication is a powerful means of expression. Through looks, conscious and unconscious messages are sent that exert great influence in all kinds of encounters. They are part of that communication between the lines that mark so much mutual perception. The looks are a world to decipher that is worth taking into account.
Eye contact and its interpretation are strongly associated with the amygdala, a part of the brain related to emotions. Now, the fascinating thing about eye contact is that it is subtle and forceful language at the same time.
We are not aware of how we look, and sometimes we do not even reflect on the message we are communicating and what effects it has on interaction with others. This article's objective is precisely to elucidate some interesting points of the wonderful world of the gaze.
"Who does not assume a look will not assume a long explanation."
The Duration Of Eye Contact, A Fundamental Factor
The continuance of eye contact is one of the essential elements in communication through the gaze. For example, a person who avoids the gaze of another is quite emotionally upset. The complete absence of eye contact indicates a lack of control over what you are feeling. In others, it causes a feeling of discomfort and mistrust.
At the other extreme is the one who fixes the gaze and does not divert it. This type of eye contact speaks of a desire to control and perhaps dominate the other person. After a few minutes, this type of look can be truly intimidating. It suggests that there is a desire to instrumentalize the other.
All eyes convey some excitement, even when they are not very powerful. In the latter, the aridity of the experience or the apathy experienced is reflected. However, it is not easy to observe at a glance. The other person may be upset. Now, when we do, we discover in her the traces of her emotional world.
Scholars of body language have managed to identify several of the encrypted codes in eye contact. Here are some of the most common interpretations:
If the blinking is excessive and noticeable, you probably feel insecure and nervous. People don't believe in leaders who blink too much.
They are looking to the left means to remember something and to the right to generate thoughts or ideas. If your gaze is constantly looking in that direction, that person may be lying. With left-handed people, this goes the other way around.
When someone looks into their eyes, they do not believe what the other person is saying.
If there is a concern in keeping good communication with the other, it is usual that the eyebrows are raised during the conversation.
Seduction And Instinct
Looks also perform an essential role during seduction. They are usually the inception of what later becomes a kind bond. Even if the contact is by phone, the people's eyes reflect a certain love interest. For example, it is usual that they shine more, that the pupil is more dilated, and reflect more sweetness.
According To Body Language Experts, Interest In Another Person Is Measured In Eye Contact.
If a person stares you in the eye, lowers their gaze, and then looks back at you, they are probably interested in you.
If the person looks at you, then breaks contact and looks to the side, they are not sure if they are brought to you or not.
If she makes eye contact but then looks up, she will most likely not feel any attraction to you. When you blink more than ten times a minute, you are interested in the person in front of you. Animals are also susceptible to the gaze of humans. If they are angry, they interpret the gaze as a posture of defiance. Looking away is one way to reduce the possibility of an attack.
In conclusion, looks are a world of infinite possibilities. A way of communicating that says a lot about ourselves and others. Therefore, it is worth getting into account when communicating with other people.
The Power Of The Gaze
They say that the gaze is a door to the soul. Through it, we can know many things about the person who is looking at us. There are all kinds of looks, and these also change depending on the moment and the emotional state of the person. It is not the same to look with anger as to look with desire, passion, or indifference…
Thus, the information that a glance can convey is enormous, especially if that look is sincere. This is so because the looks are usually very expressive, although it depends on their type. Eye contact is one of the weapons of seduction, which we use in many cases to transmit things to the other person and awaken something in them.
If we learn to use the gaze well and accompany it with other aspects or actions that we will see in this article, we will be able to seduce someone effectively, or if not, to awaken their interest in us. Flirting with your eyes but is not easy, and we must take into account several aspects.
First of all, clarify that this article in no way pretends to be a manual to flirt, far from it. We will talk about the power of the look when it comes to seducing and some aspects concerning it that you can enhance to have a more marked effect on the other person.
While we talk about seducing, we also refer to awakening the interest of another person beyond a sexual or love sense ... although it is true that throughout the article, we will frequently refer to the action of flirting.
You were flirting with your eyes: how to do it effectively?
But, how to connect with the look? And above all, how to do it successfully? We are going to analyze some aspects that can help us to achieve this:
The first point that we must be clear about when connecting with the gaze is that the gaze that we project or direct to the other has to be accompanied by an attitude. This attitude must be consistent with what we are trying to convey with our eyes. Simply "looking" is not the same as looking with desire or passion, for example.
Thus, the attitude has a lot to do with the purpose of our gaze and with the emotion that we want to transmit and that we want to awaken in the other.
We must ask ourselves, what do we want to awaken in the other, exactly? Do we want to arouse interest? Desire? Curiosity? And based on this, "adjust" our gaze. For this, we can practice in the mirror.
On the other hand, the idea is that the look that we give to another person lasts only a few seconds (even thousandths of seconds). Very long glances are not effective because they can cause just the opposite effect, that the other person becomes overwhelmed or intimidated.
Another aspect to consider to link with the gaze is its intensity and how we modulate it. This characteristic is not easy to define since how do we measure the intensity of a gaze? This is, in a way, a matter of common sense.
We can look very intensely (fixedly, without blinking, with an accompanying facial expression) or, at the opposite extreme, look "without further ado" in passing and without being too entertained.
So the intensity of flirting with the gaze also has to do with the duration of the gaze and with the facial expression as a whole, among others. Ideally, then, it will turn out to find a middle point in this intensity; for this, we can practice in a mirror, for example.
● Body language
The look is one of the body language elements (within a non-verbal language), but more.
To link with the gaze effectively, we must also attend to other aspects of our body that accompany that gaze so that they are consistent with it (that is, the idea is that there is a certain harmony between our gaze and the rest of the body).
We must think that the look largely defines our facial expression and face since it is one of its key points. For this reason, we must look at:
Do we want to accompany our gaze with a smile? If so, what type? A mischievous smile, perhaps? Everything is important when it comes to flirting!
What body posture will accompany that look? Ideally, it should be a natural posture and never forced.
What gestures will accompany our smile? We must also keep this aspect in mind and modulate it to be consistent with our gaze and expression. Let us remember that if the different verbal language elements "agree," our message will reach more effectively and credibly.
The position of the hands is also important, although not always excessively. It all depends on the context in which we are flirting with the other person. Thus, it is not the same to be standing as sitting, far as to close, in a cinema as in a museum, etc.
● Set your goal
But, as mentioned earlier, none of those is useful when flirting with your gaze if you don't previously set your "goal." This includes finding the time to look at that special someone, so you must get that crossing of eyes first of all.
How to interpret the reaction of the other?
Okay, okay ... we have put into practice our best look at that person who steals our sleep, but ... what happened then? What has she done? Different situations can occur. We show you some of them and how to interpret them.
● She keeps his gaze It.
Maybe that, while we are looking at her, the other person has also kept his gaze on ours. What can this mean? One possibility is that we have interested her, or at least, we have aroused some curiosity in her.
● Withdraws look
It can also occur just the opposite, and it looked to withdraw. If you do it right when eye contact occurs, this may be a sign of embarrassment or intimidation.
If you do it a little later, it may mean the same thing or simply that we have annoyed you or that you have no interest in us (although it is too early to judge). It will also depend on whether it was the first time we did it or not.
● Withdraw your gaze and fix it again
If the other person withdraws their gaze to fix it on us again, this may be an indicator of interest.
● Game of looks and smile
When it comes to flirting with the look, if the other person reacts "playing" with their eyes and accompanies everything with a smile, this seems to be a good indication that they like simply that he is interested in meeting you.
● Avoid your gaze and do not look again.
If the other person not only withdraws his gaze once we establish eye contact but also avoids your gaze and does not look at you again, this is a likely indication that he has no interest in you.
Logically, this and the previous tips should be analyzed in their global context and consider other aspects of the interaction, so they only offer guidance when interpreting the game of gazes and the other person's reaction.
How To Seduce Someone With Your Eyes
The eyes can be a powerful tool for seduction. There are various ways you can practice your eyes to show attraction and get someone interested in you. Make initial eye contact and make the most of your gaze.
● Take the initiative to make initial eye contact. This shows confidence, which many people find beautiful. People tend to be involved in those who are interested in them. Intrigue a person if you try to match their gaze from across the room. Try to make eye connections first, rather than waiting for her to notice you. Look for signs that someone is interested in you. Use this as an opportunity to make initial eye contact. The cues can be subtle, like someone glancing at you. Women can sometimes run their fingers through their hair to convey attraction.
● Start with a few brief looks. Start things off with a few glances if you are a shy person. Looking at someone twice definitely conveys an interest. Try a few short glances at someone, look away, and then see them again. This can show a potential partner that you are attracted to and that you want their attention.
● Look at someone sideways. In addition to making direct eye contact, seeing someone out of the corner of your eye can be helpful. Only glance at someone for a few minutes if they haven't had a chance to strike up a conversation yet.
Spend about 5-10 minutes looking sideways at a person you find attractive. Be cool and make it obvious. See if that person also notices you.
It can help look at someone out of the corner of your eye while laughing at something a friend says. Laughter is contagious and can be attractive to the person you are trying to seduce.