Screening for the Archetypes
It is a truth universally acknowledged,
that a single man in possession of a good fortune,
must be in want of a wife.
— the brilliant Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen.
In Chapter 7 on Female Archetypes, we touched briefly on the distinction that can be made between an Adventuress, a Materialista and a Good Girl. These distinctions are based on emotional responses and behavior, and not by things like a woman’s physical looks or her manner of dressing. Furthermore, these distinctions are most useful during interactions which have an element of high polarity. That is, the more feminine the woman’s behavior, the easier it is for you to understand her motivations and observe how she reacts emotionally. Women with more masculine character traits tend to suppress their emotional expression, which reduces the effectiveness of these categories.
The goal of this chapter is to delve further into the Archetypes, and to assist you in identifying particular types of women when you encounter them. Most men enter relationships with the opposite sex blindly, mistaking sexual chemistry for long-term compatibility. The purpose of screening is to help you to rationally observe the principal types of women that exist in the world, so that you can make wise choices regarding your time, energy, and emotions, before you get sexually involved with anyone.
Why is screening so important? Sexual intercourse produces a flood of chemicals in the bloodstream which, by nature, make it much more difficult for most people to extract themselves from the relationship after the fact. On the positive side, as a practical man you want to spend your time, energy and money wisely in life. Spending part of your life on a woman who turns out to be totally incompatible with your goals and lifestyle is tantamount to stealing that time, from both yourself and from the women who are worthy of you. Therefore, screening is a vital tool in your arsenal as a happy, successful modern man.
If we have any mantra, it’s this: love the woman for who and what she really is, not for who you wish her to be, or for who society says she should be. This single piece of advice, coupled with the skills for recognizing types of women, will revolutionize your skill in relationships with women.
The Good Girl
One Good Woman. What every man needs. In our model of the female archetypes, the Good Girl derives emotional satisfaction from being perceived as following socially-prescribed norms, especially those associated with sexual behavior. In short, Good Girls generally aren’t promiscuous, and prefer to limit sexual involvement to more loving and committed relationships. Even still, however, not all Good Girls are suitable for long term, loving relationships.
Remember that the archetype label “Good Girl” is not to be confused with making a moral judgment about a woman. A woman in a search for a committed, monogamous relationship with a man can be just as ruthless as any other woman in going after what she wants. If you are a man of high value, she may very well try to mold her personality to conform to what she believes you are looking for in a woman, in order to secure a relationship with you1. This can even include outright dishonesty. Therefore it is inadvisable to consider a serious, long-term relationship with any woman until you have the wisdom that comes with experience and you are an expert at the screening process.
The HSE Case
A Good Girl with healthy self-esteem (HSE) makes appropriate long-term relationship material for most men, especially when sex drives are well-matched. This latter point is crucial; An HD woman paired with a low or much lower-drive man is liable to get very cranky and restless. A woman with a low or much lower sex drive may well use sex to manipulate the man in the relationship. A Good Girl who is not satisfied sexually, or conversely, one who feels sexually pressured, is likely to get feelings of depression and anxiety due to such a mismatch in sexual drives.
Look for the following points when screening for a Good Girl with high self-esteem:
1. She tends to place value on all her relationships, whether with her family, friends, and mates.
1. She is in touch with her feminine sexuality and her sexual desire. She may love sex as much as any other woman, but she prefers it with a man whom she is in a committed relationship with.
1. She is able to accept you as a man who is also a sexual human being.
1. She respects the masculine world without trying to be a man herself or act like a man.
1. She is comfortable in a wide range of social situations.
1. She will not tolerate much abuse of any kind from any
one, whether friends, family or mates.
The LSE Case
A Good Girl with low self-esteem (LSE) may be as ruthless as any other kind of woman, and even more dangerous, as she cloaks her ambition under what is otherwise socially-acceptable behavior. With a woman having a high libido (HD), there will be lots drama. Low-libido women (LD) will often use sex within a relationship to manipulate her man, and quite often to his material disadvantage.
Low-self esteem Good Girls are not that hard to recognize. This woman will be the one hissing at an edgy scene in a movie. She will be uncomfortable in a wide range of social situations, preferring to spend her time in social situations with very little risk. She will correct her man, in public, when her opinion of his actions violate what she perceives as socially acceptable. She will also tolerate fairly emotionally abusive situations as long as such are perceived by her to be more socially acceptable than the alternative. For example, consider how the divorce rate has risen to staggering levels once the stigma of divorce was removed through the legal expedient of “no-fault divorce.”2
1as in the bait-and-switch game, which we discuss in a following chapter
2While the actual percentage is unclear, statistical studies repeatedly show that women initiate divorce much more often than men, ranging from 65 to 91% of cases, depending on the source.
As mentioned in the previous chapter, these women are primarily motivated by both sexual gratification and male attention. They are excellent candidates for women to have casual and/or short-term relationships with.
However, men with sensitive hearts need to be particularly careful with this type of woman. It is a commonly-held myth in our society that men are universally able to have random sex with women without suffering any emotional attachment, and that all women require a deep emotional connection before being able to enjoy sex with a man. In the face of real-life experience with Adventuresses, this myth unravels in a swift and shocking way for many men.
Adventuresses typically get bored with monogamy very easily. Remember, they are motivated primarily by sexual excitement and male validation. Therefore, supplicating to such a woman, or trying to get her settled down into a monogamous relationship, or wishing for her to change her promiscuous ways, is a sure recipe for heartbreak. When a woman talks a lot about how much she values her freedom and not being tied down, pay very close attention!
If you are ready for a casual, no-strings-attached relationship, however, these women can often be ideal. The proper way to interact with such a woman is always in a non-judgmental, non-jealous fashion.
You can recognize an Adventuress by observing her dating patterns. An Adventuress who is young or inexperienced may have a trail of broken-hearted men behind her. She will generally be more open to discussing sexual topics. Dating and courtship will cause her to get bored quickly, while proper physical escalation will excite her. You will more readily discern the difference as you gain experience.
It should be noted that Adventuresses can often have many Good Girl qualities, especially when it comes to their platonic relationships. Just be very careful that you do not confuse a woman’s kindness and friendliness with sexual loyalty and devotion.
The HSE Case
A woman who is an HSE Adventuress is a woman who loves pleasure for it’s own sake. She is not bound by typical social conventions when it come to her sexuality. Therefore, an HSE Adventuress is a woman who thrives on male attention and/or sexual variety, but she is not doing so in a self-destructive way. A list of well-known HSE Adventuresses would include the likes of Madonna and Angelina Jolie, although both of these women have slowed down considerably in the last few years or so.
The LSE Case
The Adventuress is often typified by self-destructive behavior, therefore many Adventuress you will meet will be of the LSE variety. An LSE Adventuress may very well sabotage a perfectly good relationship with you, by cheating for example, because an LSE woman simply cannot accept that she deserves a stable, monogamous relationship with a good man. If you attempt to impose one on her she is likely to rebel. As already mentioned, an Adventuress also craves sexual variety and an LSE woman will jeopardize her health, her other relationships, and sometimes her physical and mental safety in order to satisfy her emotional or physical cravings.
Materialistas are primarily motivated by material wealth, by money, prestige and the power that such things bring. An inexperienced, tactless Materialista may easily get upset at the suggestion that you split the bill on dates, whereas a more sophisticated Materialista may actually bait you by offering to pay on occasion, knowing that you will be compelled to pay later when it really counts.3
You will easily recognize such women by their conversation. Is she primarily interested in talking about money and the things money can buy? A favorite verbal technique of women is to present things to you in the third person, such as “My girlfriend is so lucky; her boyfriend just flew her to Vegas first class, and they are staying in the presidential suite and...”
If you find that a woman’s level of affection towards you rises and falls consistently with the amount of money you are spending on her, then you can bet you have a Materialista on your hands.
It is important to bear in mind that women with traits of a Materialista are first and foremost human animals in as much need of love and affection as any Good Girl who is determined to preserve her chastity. But loving a Materialista as if she were a Good Girl is a recipe for disaster. If she’s a Materialista, and you love her, love her on her terms as a Materialista, not on your terms as if she was a Good Girl. If you must have a Good Girl, go find one.
We are confident in saying that virtually all women have a bit of Materialista in them. Throughout the ages, female survival depended on the skills of getting men into a position where they would provide in a material way for the women, and do so willingly. There is therefore no point in expressing anger or frustration when a woman demands that you pay for her drinks or food. Just realize that some women are more bent on extracting wealth from men than others. It is up to you as a Modern Man to determine what your standards are, which women will enjoy a place in your life and on what terms.
The key to handling a Materialista, or handling any women showing a bit of materialism in her behavior is to “pimp” her. That is, you must put the woman to work for you, by having her do little things for your benefit, at your convenience, at her expense. This might be cooking or cleaning for you, or running errands to the market, or ordering items from the internet. Real-life prostitutes require a full-time, professional pimp, who handles the business side of her operations, and provides emotional support when necessary. The rest of us need only to recognize the symptoms of the Materialista when they emerge, and take immediate steps to deal with them.
Again, a certain amount of Materialista behavior is natural and normal in any healthy woman, because any normal girl wants to get the best deal that she can. We choose to celebrate this fact and turn the woman’s nature to our advantage. Even better, when in a committed relationship with such a woman, this behavior can be turned to mutual advantage, benefitting the relationship as a whole.
The bottom line is, she needs to be working for you; not the other way around. You need to set and maintain a strong frame of you and her against the world rather than you and her against each other. This means you must be a man who knows how to lead a woman and cannot be intimidated — either by her or by other men.4
3A Good Girl may also get upset, but for a different reason: the man picking up the tab is the socially-approved manner of courtship.
4Joseph: One night while out at a swanky place a female friend pointed out a well-dressed, much older man and said “He wants to buy me a drink Joseph! What should I do?” I said to tell him that you will gladly accept a drink, for yourself and your friend (me). This man bought us three drinks each before we all went our separate ways, with her and I heading back to my place. My friend gave the man companionship in exchange for the free drinks, and he left happy. She saved her more romantic affections for me. It worked well for me because of my non-judgmental, non jealous attitude, and my encouragement of the friendly exchange that took place.
The HSE Case
HSE Materialistas can be dangerous — to your wallet, your pride, and your emotions — and conversely they can be a lot of fun if you know what you are doing. In this case, you will need great inner strength. If you have any tendency to buy a woman’s favor through gifts, a Materialista is not for you. However, if you are steadfast in your principles and refuse to pay for the affections of women, and if you are completely non-jealous and happy for her to get her material needs met elsewhere, such a woman can learn to appreciate a modern man very much. Materialistas need love too, and if she has a High Sex Drive (HD), she will find you very appealing indeed, if you embody the above-mentioned qualities.
It needs to be mentioned that a Low Sex Drive (LD) Materialistas can be particularly dangerous for a man. These women understand the male sexual drive, yet they do not share the same passion for sex. Since they are very calculating and always angling for money, they are able to fake sexual arousal fairly adeptly. They can also withdraw sexual affection quite easily, and they do! It is a trap designed to make the man spend more money in order to revive what he mistakenly experienced as passion coming from the woman.
The LSE Case
Even though Materialistas are primarily motivated by money, a woman who is also LSE will be ineffective. An LSE woman has trouble accepting anything of true value from anyone. An LSE Materialista will also be virtually impossible to satisfy, because not only does she require more and more material treatment, as all Materialistas do, but she also will get less and less satisfaction from such treatment because of her LSE. In addition, she will “price herself” very low. Streetwalkers are very much in this category, having nothing other than sex to offer any man besides her her pimp, to whom she offers money in exchange for emotional support.
Remember, these categories are generalized guidelines implying no value judgement on any woman. We believe these female responses are evolutionarily derived and that they can be overridden or otherwise suppressed by most healthy women.
Also keep in mind that no woman is one hundred per cent Good Girl, Adventuress or Materialista. People are usually a combination of complex traits. But these stereotypes can prove to be an excellent guide for you when you are making your dating choices.
Our goal with this book is to help you love women for who they truly are, and not for who you might wish for them to be. Once you can accept the fact that women often come with very different motivations when it comes to male-female relationships, only then will you be in a position to confidently pick and choose which women will be allowed space in your life, and in what capacity.
Are you looking for a series of exciting, short-term relationships with women? Then, as long as you are sure you can tolerate a woman’s wilder side, you’ll want to focus your energy on Adventuresses. Do you want to be a Gigolo? Then, ideally, Materialistas who have at least some sense of loyalty and principle will be your targets. Are you ready to settle down and start a nuclear family with children? Then the Good Girl is the type of woman you will want to devote your time and energy to.
Above all, use this information as data-gathering for mere facts.
Do not impose moral judgments upon women or get upset that they behave the way that they do. This is merely nature at work and also part of the effects of our modern, western culture. If you find you are having difficulty accepting women as they fall under these various categories, please review the chapter on the Madonna/whore Complex very carefully.
Next, we will drill down into the psychological dynamics of women with varying levels of self-esteem. We will discuss the different styles of interactions that you can expect with such women, and help you to recognize their archetypes before you commit yourself to a relationship.