Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man - David Clare, Joseph South, Franco 2008
Female Neuropsychology
Perhaps truth is a woman who has reasons for not letting us see her reasons?
— The Gay Science, Friedrich Nietzsche.
Neuropsyhcology is the study of how the function and structure of the brain relates to specific psychological processes. Part of neuropsychology involves studying how brain activity expresses itself through verbal, cognitive and physical indicators. For example, with regards to sexuality and emotional life, there have been recent studies on the effects of childhood abuse on the neuropsychological and cognitive functions in women, and the effects of hormonal activity on sexual orientation.1
For centuries, women have been more advanced in knowledge of male sexual neuropsychology; women needed such skills for physical survival in a world dominated by large, aggressive men. Women are usually totally silent about their deep knowledge of the male psyche and sexuality. We believe this silence is a result of:
1. The female need to manipulate the male into a Provider role for reasons of survival.
2. The female need for social acceptance, or social status preservation when promiscuity is punished (this refers to the Madonna/whore Complex, which is extensively discussed later in the book).
Our particular interest in neuropsychology is on signs of female sexual arousal which can be detected by having a normal conversation with a woman, without the need to physically escalate the interaction towards a sexual act.2 Sexual escalation is defined as the sequence of acts which bring a couple closer to the act of lovemaking. Understanding how to detect the level of female arousal without escalating physically increases a man’s social awareness, allowing the interaction to proceed covertly rather than overtly. Since there exists a complex of verbal and non-verbal signs which indicate that the female is becoming sexually aroused, this is a skill: a woman’s arousal is expressed through her body and her brain’s cognitive activity in ways that can be detected by simple observation.
This concept of detecting female arousal through observation has been taboo for many centuries, we believe partly due to the Madonna/whore Complex and partly because we are only now beginning to understand the connection between brain activity and verbal and non-verbal signals. Due to the effect on the scientific media of the Madonna/whore Complex, a search of scientific literature on the topic of female sexual arousal finds studies about the “abnormalities” of female sexuality. There are very few articles on how a woman’s sexual arousal can be detected in the context of normal, everyday social interactions.
1We would like to see the subject of Female Neuropsychology taught to men at school! Many marriages would be saved and many couples would be happier.
2Since this is not a book about sexology, we will not be discussing subjects such as the female orgasm, or difficulties with orgasm.
Language and Female Sexual Arousal
Normal, healthy, adult women often become sexually aroused by words and communication. In neuropsychological terms, sexual arousal in women goes like this: words and communication and their effect on the woman’s inner mental process creates a fantasy for her, and from this primary process follows the biological signs of sexual arousal, such as vaginal lubrication. Words and communication and their effect on the woman’s inner mental process create pleasurable emotions, and from this primary process follows the biological signs of sexual arousal, for example an increase in her libido.
The emotions which cause sexual pleasure within a woman can be both positive, as in joy, or negative, as in fear or anger. We postulate that a woman who is routinely sexually aroused by negative emotions is almost definitely a woman with psychological problems and a woman with lower self-esteem (LSE — explained in depth later in the book). We also postulate that to a certain extent all women are sexually aroused by strong emotions, and that strong emotions can also include those that we would consider as “negative emotions”, even within a psychologically healthy woman.
Female Need for Communication
Though females may train themselves to act like men, in reality they have a very deep biological urge to be talkative. Certain studies indicate that females get a rush of pleasure by certain hormones when talking. Female hormones seem to act in such a way so as to induce in the female an extreme need for emotional expression and talking with her peers.
It seems likely that men and women have difficulties in communication because the language they use and the needs they have with regards to their communication are often very different. Science has not been able to demonstrate this for sure but several studies seem to indicate that what is intended as “communication” may be something totally different for men and for women.
It is possible that already at the age of eighteen weeks, pregnancy hormones define a totally different structure of the brain in regards to what is intended as communication. In other words, sexual hormones may effect the parts of the male and female brain dedicated to communication, such that their neuropsychological expression may be totally different depending on whether the person is a male or female.
Mutual Gazing
There is a need for the female of our species to seek mutual gazing, or deep and prolonged eye contact. In our extensive field experience we have repeatedly noticed this to be true.
When a female is deprived of mutual gazing she gets anxious and depressed. Conversely, when she is rewarded by mutual gazing she gets pleasure and is satisfied. You might have noticed that your wife or girlfriend will become increasingly agitated when your eyes are focused intently for any length of time on a television sporting event or towards your computer screen.
Our field experience also indicates that females have ambivalent feelings in regard to males who reward them by talking a lot and engaging in mutual gazing. On one hand, they feel happy and rewarded. On the other hand, in the long run, women will react with a decrease in sexual attraction towards the male who seeks too much attention from women in this way.
Our rationale for this is that sexual attraction is created by contrast. Ultimately, females are attracted by masculine features. Therefore, men who reward females with a lot of feminine traits such as conversation and mutual gazing are at risk of having those females lose attraction for them in the long run. These men risk becoming too effeminate in the eyes of their women. Calibration is therefore crucial; you will need to listen and observe and thereby determine the right amount of these things.
Female Blueprint
A Female Blueprint is a specific set of emotions which is individual to the particular woman and which elicits sexual arousal in her when it is targeted — either consciously or unconsciously — by the male. The Blueprint has an evolutionary purpose: it sets the conditions for specific evolutionary selection based on certain specific features, which are by nature much more specific than what would arouse most males. Males, as we all know, can be easily aroused by the sight of a naked, beautiful woman. But female arousal is not usually as simple as that.
Here are some typical Female Blueprints:
1. A woman is sexually aroused by successful businessmen who cause her to daydream about flying worldwide for the purpose of building successful businesses. As you can see, this is very specific, and the woman will predictably become sexually aroused by men who elicit this Blueprint from her. She may be totally incapable of sexual arousal with a guy who is of the “rock star” type and without good business sense.
1. A woman is sexually aroused by men who give her the feeling of being free and wild; for example, in the manner that a rock star or a member of a motorcycle gang might do. In this case, she will remain completely cold sexually when in the company of a businessman and will show biological signs of sexual arousal when in the presence of the rock star.
1. A woman is sexually aroused by the emotions created by going shopping and looking for red underwear for herself, especially if this happens in the company of a man who is able to describe with words the features of these clothes. We’ll have more to say about such language, which we call Rich Description.
As you can see, female sexual arousal has much wider variability when compared with male sexuality.
Passivity and Receptiveness
Passivity and Receptiveness are essential states that the average woman needs to get into in order to become aroused sexually. A truly feminine woman will find it difficult to become sexually aroused with a man unless he is able to make her comfortable with being both passive and receptive to the man and his advances. If a woman indicates that she becomes aroused by acting tough, by fighting or by primarily visual means, similar to a man, we can say that her masculine behavior has either been learned or is intrinsic to her nature for biological reasons.
Body Language and Sexual Arousal
It would be almost impossible to list and describe all of the potential signs of female sexual arousal. We provide a few key examples in order to give you an overview of the correlation between the psychology of a woman and the neuropsychological expression of her arousal.
Soft Signs are expressions visible through body language and through cognitive brain activity that something is happening within the brain. What follows is a list of some Soft Signs indicating female sexual arousal. This list could be very lengthy, especially for an experienced seducer:
1. Looking downward after having had eye contact with a male she is sexually attracted to is a clear sign of submission among all primates.
2. Giggling is often sign of submissiveness.
3. Emotional or dramatic outbursts. In most cases, this is a clear sign of sexual arousal in a woman.
4. Impaired concentration and an increase in the unrelatedness of emotions within a sequence.
5. An increase in lower body movements which attract male attention.
6. Blushing.
7. Scratching of her wrists and inner arms.
Practical Advice
All of our work in this book is based on the assumption that the human being is a cybernetic system wherein the mind and body are inseparable parts of the same system and affect each other. In other words, we believe that the mind and the body of a person are closely coupled, rendering true distinctions difficult to determine.
You are now in a position to train yourself to observe the soft signs of arousal within your woman. You will find a clear correlation with what you do — and what you do not do — in the course of your relationship and the signs of her arousal. Learn to calibrate. Keep in mind that the main purpose of evolution is to screen for better genes and that everything that your woman does or doesn’t do is in one way or another linked to that purpose.
There are couple of very good guidebooks with respect to Soft Signs available in the mainstream literature. Leil Lowndes’ Undercover Sex Signals [4] is a compendium of just such mannerisms as listed above, and many, many more. Ms. Lowndes is an outstanding author, perceptively noting that such signals should not be taken at face value. Rather, view each soft sign as a “letter”. By learning to assemble these “letters”, you become adept at reading her “words”, which in turn are communicating her intentions.
Tracey Cox’s Superflirt [5] could be considered an illustrated encyclopedia of body language. Some of the material is similar in content to Undercover Sex Signals, but the presentation is complementary. We recommend that you get both books.