Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man - David Clare, Joseph South, Franco 2008

Female Logic Explained

I want wonderful and fascinating and marvelous things to happen to me

and I don’t want to do anything to make them happen. Nothing at all.

— Lanya, from Dhalgren, by Samuel R. Delany

For ages, men have considered “Female Logic,” or the female way of thinking, to be one of the greatest mysteries in the universe. Psychoanalysts, philosophers and poets have spent countless amounts of time agonizing over this topic.

Well, the good news is that female logic (also known as chick logic) can be explained to men in a perfectly understandable way. You can learn how female logic works just like you can learn the functions of a computer or the technical specifications of a car.

First of all, based on what we considered in Chapter 1 with regards to Evolutionary Psychology, let’s stipulate that every function of the human brain has an evolutionary purpose. The evolutionary purpose of female logic is to achieve two basic goals:

1. To create ideal conditions for the procreation and birth of children, and ideal conditions to protect those children during their early years of development.

2. To influence the men and the environment around her to give her and her children support and protection. This influence commonly manifests as manipulation (more about manipulation in Chapter 13), which in this scenario may be seen as a positive force used by the woman instinctually as a means to support life.

A woman naturally achieves these goals by creating within herself a sense of emotional congruence. When creating such emotions, the woman is especially concerned with “how she feels right now” as opposed to a male-logic concern of “how a correlates to b, or how a is the cause of b.” In psychologically healthy women, these will be emotions of pleasure and safety. In other women, drama, histrionics and hysteria serve a similar purpose.

In the following discussion, the reader should keep in mind we are not making any value or moral judgments. Emotional reasoning is very likely deeply embedded into people, if not all mammals. Human males have simply evolved a further characteristic of being more able to easily suppress emotional reasoning.1

The Calculus of Emotion

Female logic is based on a calculus of emotion, allowing a woman to understand her current emotional state as a causal result of a chain of external factors. That these factors may be physically illogical or irrational is emotionally irrelevant. Men typically have a great deal of trouble following women’s physically non-causal emotional reasoning, and don’t understand that to the woman, accepting the emotion is much more important than determining a logical or rational underlying cause.

Female logic can be visualized as a sequence of emotional states along of the lines of the imaginary chain:

... → b → c → x → y → z → u → a → b → ...

where the elements are absolutely not required to be in what men would consider logical, rational or physically causal correlation between each other. Instead, these states are correlated in terms of how the emotion b was the cause within the woman of the emotion c, and of the emotion x and so on, without any other correlation between each of the other elements whatsoever, and where there is no certainty about which element may or may not be the cause of the next one in the sequence.

Note: we are making some very broad generalizations here!

Some women employ chick logic exclusively, other women not so much. But in our experience, most women will resort to emotional reasoning when under the influence of powerful, uncomfortable emotional states, or in uncomfortable social circumstances.

Some women’s behavior is primarily driven by their emotions. In many cases, these women share their feelings with you in a balanced way, having developed very good control over their emotions. In other cases women can be prone to discharge their problems on you in a massive way. Neither one of these types of women may have a functioning sense of causality between her emotional states. Trying to apply male logic to women and their emotional states is therefore inappropriate and it only leads to frustration in the male attempting the analysis.

It is important to note that female emotionality is of an inward nature. Franco believes this is strictly connected with pregnancy and motherhood. This may appear in some women as extreme self-centeredness. In reality this trait is a positive strength created by nature to achieve maximum well-being in a woman’s body and in her psyche, in preparation for the creation of a new life. It may sometimes seem to you that your woman is unable to feel empathy towards your needs as a man. For this reason it is crucial for a Modern Man to be totally non needy in any relationship with a woman.

1Men who manipulate women often turn tables on women by employing this same sort of reasoning. The authors view this as an abrogation of masculinity: men should lead, not manipulate.

Biological and Psychological Factors

We believe sex drive and self-esteem both influence a woman’s susceptibility to use emotional calculus.

Women with a High Sex Drive, defined as “HD” in this book (details in Chapter 7), exhibit female logic to a more impressive extent. This is because female logic is not an isolated phenomenon, but it is strictly connected with the woman’s sexual instinct. In contrast, women with a Lower Sex Drive, defined in this book as “LD”, exhibit female logic to a lesser degree. The Modern Man can use seduction techniques to change LD women into HD women, if he so chooses. When that happens, the formerly-LD woman starts to exhibit emotional thinking to a greater extent than before.

LD women also use female logic, but it is different compared with the female logic displayed by HD women and it is also more subtle.

Self-esteem is another factor which influences female logic to a great degree. Women with Low Self-Esteem (defined in this book as “LSE”), employ a more primitive, wilder kind of female logic. Women with High Self-Esteem (defined in this book as “HSE”) have a higher-level kind of female logic, which is detectable only by very experienced seducers. Most men will be able to notice female logic coming from an LSE woman, but they will rarely be able to detect female logic coming from an HSE woman.

Emotional Awareness

Most men would like to relax when they get into a committed relationship with a woman. In an attempt to relax, the man will start an attempt to establish control her behavior as soon as he gets in touch with her emotional side. This almost always leads to disappointment, because often a woman will dramatically escalate her use of female logic the more she is sexually attracted to her man. The more logic and control a man attempts to establish, the more the woman will escalate emotionally. For her, it’s a matter of self-defense to preserve her sense of identity as a woman.

When a man tries to have his woman’s female logic repressed and transformed into male logic, he may actually be repressing his woman’s sexual attraction towards him. It is vital to remember that the kind of emotional thinking within the woman — which we identify as female logic — may be strongly linked to her sexuality.

Dealing with a woman and her female logic in the proper way is not difficult, but you cannot relax in the way a man normally intends to relax. This is because if a man could naturally understand a woman when she is thinking with her female logic, he would no longer be a real man, but rather quite an effeminate man. Instead, to make a woman happy and sexually active, a man must cultivate a constant state of awareness within himself: be aware of her emotional state, without allowing her emotional state to affect you.

So the key to dealing with female logic is constant emotional awareness. In fact, you can bet that without being emotionally awareness your woman will surprise you, sometimes in very unpleasant ways, and on a regular basis. With emotional awareness, you will be able to anticipate her emotions, and lead her through a sequence of positive states.

Practical Advice

The best way to deal with female logic is to help your woman to actually enhance it, instead of trying to change her. This must happen in such a way that you never lose your masculine frame, because if you do that then you will become her “male girlfriend”; emotionally close for sure, but without the sexual tension that is at the very center of any healthy romantic relationship.

At its core, female logic is somewhat schizophrenic. Therefore, in order to be able to deal with it successfully, you have to position yourself in a little bit of a schizophrenic manner; i.e. you must be able to talk chickspeak, without ever losing the sexually active and aggressive frame of the masculine male.

The big problem with books such as John Gray’s “Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus” [6] is that while they can help men to understand female logic to a certain degree, in the process they emasculate the man, stripping him of his masculine core. In order to maintain sexual attraction from a female, we need to understand female logic but at the same time remain as real, masculine men. We do not effectively resolve the differences between male logic and female logic by becoming females!

An important thing for the modern man to keep in mind is that the mechanism of female logic is especially activated by the presence of the male himself. The more a woman finds herself in the presence of a masculine man, and especially if she is sexually attracted to that man, the more she will get into the emotional mental state described above.

Flip the Script

The rationalization by women of their emotional processes is what we like to call “Chick Logic” and it is a fundamental weapon in the female arsenal for managing their relationships with men. Chick logic leads to notions such as “If you don’t talk about it, it never happened.” When you hear a phrase like this from a woman, understand that what this means in practice is that she doesn’t want to talk about something that “causes” her to feel bad. Never mind whether the whole incident was captured on video, that’s completely irrelevant to her. As long as she never talks about it, she never has to feel those bad emotions.2

When a man gets angry with a woman and describes her as a “selfish bitch,” what is happening is that he is relating to a woman who is presently focused, to an extreme extent, on how she feels right now. In fact, the more a woman can be referred to in the context of male logic as a “bitch”, the stronger and more primitive her female sexual instinct is.

Women exhibit female logic to different degrees. The degree to which a woman exhibits female logic is caused by biological, psychological and social factors.

2DAVID remembers that he had a relationship once with a woman who came back from a small resort 90 miles south of Cancu ́n and let the following comment slip: “What happens in the islands stays in the islands.” At that time, he didn’t think much of it. Now, it strikes him that she probably had sex while she was down there, and didn’t want to feel guilty for “cheating.”

Some In-Field Examples of Female Logic

Franco has been married twice and has otherwise been in loving relationships with many women. Once upon a time he picked up a woman. Let’s call her Lady BadKisser. This girl was at that time looking for a committed relationship and Franco was enjoying being single. As usual, Franco attempted to initiate sex with the woman. It is our very strong opinion that no man should even think about starting a serious relationship with a woman if she does not demonstrate from the outset that she enjoys being sexually engaged with the man.

So, Lady BadKisser kissed Franco, but when he kissed her, he could sense that she was reacting with uneasiness to his kiss. This was a good indication to Franco that he should forget this particular woman and concentrate on the next one. So Franco naturally reduced his time with her. On a subsequent occasion the woman told Franco that the reason for her hesitancy was because Franco was not willing to have a serious relationship, which was quite true at that time.

After that, they did not meet again for several years. In the meantime, Franco got married again, and while Franco was married, he met up with Lady BadKisser. They talked and they had quite a good time together, and wouldn’t you know it? She tried to kiss Franco. After that, she started to call him and to send him text messages quite frequently.

This woman was clearly an LD woman and Franco was quite interested in understanding how it was that she had this apparent sudden change from LD to HD. She was actually embarrassing him, by being quite sexually aggressive towards him all the time while they were out together in public.

Well, when finally they talked in depth about this, Franco found out the reason:

Lady BadKisser: “Franco, you are a married man now, so I finally know that I can trust you.”

Unbelievable!

In fact, this story makes perfect sense when viewed in the light of female logic. The woman did not trust Franco when he was single. She believed that Franco was only interested in a casual, sexual relationship with her. At that time, under the influence of her strong emotional state “X”, she was unable to see that Franco may be capable of a committed relationship in the future. To do that she would have had to be capable of stepping out of her emotional state and thinking logically.

When she came to know that Franco was now married, she came under the influence of another, different emotional state, let’s call it State “Y”, which for her means, “I can trust this guy, because he can be my husband”. This new emotional state confused her logic even more because she started to feel that she should be Franco’s wife and not some other woman.

When we analyze this woman’s contrasting emotional states “X” and “Y,” we see that she is not capable of logically connecting the two states together. For her, the two states are equally real and equally valid, except that state “X” no longer applies, because it is now evident that Franco is husband material, which corresponds to her desires for a man, and not a bachelor, which is unattractive to her.3

3Women can learn to logically connect with their emotional states. Apparently, this is as difficult for women as emotionally connecting to logical states is to a man.

Lead Her Emotions

The authors can deliberately induce an emotional, feminine logic state in women. We have seduced somewhat-masculine women, those being defined as women who have consciously trained themselves to suppress their female logic. Here are a few real-life examples:

Woman: “Franco, I had believed that I was not a chicken like my mother is, but when I am with you I feel I am just like her.”

... or ...

Woman (shouting): “I am used to being in control!”

... or ...

Woman: “Unbelievable!... I do not feel ashamed about sex at all with I am with you.”

And so on.

The vast majority of men are totally unaware of how their own close proximity to their women is the actual cause of the woman going deeper and deeper into this natural emotional state. Once you acknowledge this fact, a lot of good things will start to happen for you. For one thing, you no longer need to argue or have fights with your woman!

The majority of arguing that occurs among couples is in fact due to men attempting to apply male logic to women, and women trying to apply their female logic to men, while they are interacting with each other. Therefore, if you want to increase the sexual attraction of a woman and communicate with her effectively, stop asking her the following type of question when she is in an emotional state: “How the hell does X relate to Y? Or how does Y relate to Z?”

For example, she may shift from an emotion called X to an emotion called Y during your conversation, without any apparent logical connection between the two points. You need to understand that the only logical connection between the two points is definitely something in her outer world, which has caused her to shift from the emotion X to the emotion Y.

Here is another real-life example:

Franco: “So tonight we are going to watch a wonderful movie...Yesterday when we spoke, we agreed to go at 5:00PM.”

Woman: “Where are you?”

Franco: “At the office. So I will meet you at the railway station at 4:45 pm. They say this war movie is very good.”

Woman: “You are always working. You surely like to be away from home!”

At this point, she is clearly feeling some strong emotions connected with Franco being at the office. Unfortunately, the majority of men would react like this:

Average Guy, in an angry or frustrated tone: “Hey look! I have my next client about to come in. So are we going to meet at 4:45 or not?”

This response would be a very logical thing to do, because the man surely remembers that in the morning they had agreed to go to watch that movie together. However, this would be a case of trying to apply male logic to the woman’s emotional state. She will likely be upset by such a response and feel that her man doesn’t understand her. Instead, the experienced seducer would drop the logical, male reaction and instead respond with something like this:

Franco: “Yes…to think if I would have to go and fight in a war...so many months away from home.”

Woman: “You enjoy killing, don’t you?!?”

Franco: “I sure do love the feeling of running towards the enemy and putting a bullet into his head.”

Here Franco shows that he does not care too much about her disappointment, but this causes no problem because Franco is in fact matching her emotional state in that moment. That, in fact, is what women want! Imagine that this discussion continues as follows:

Woman: “All men are the same; they only want money, power, and killing!”

Franco: “Yes. Actually I think we should purify ourselves...how about we plan our next vacation for the monastery at Valamo?”

And on and on he goes, teasing her about her emotions, and as a result she gets hornier and hornier. Franco missed out on going to many movies in this way!

Meta-emotions

Culturally, the West has placed a premium on male control of emotions, which is nearly always performed by using rational logic. We believe that both men and women experience the same suite of emotions to a greater or lesser degree. A man can develop the ability to tap into emotions just as women do.

Once a man is attuned to a woman’s base emotions, he is able to tune into much deeper emotional states. For example, consider the following statement: “Sometimes, it feels good to feel bad.” Most men have absolutely no conception of what such an obviously contradictory statement means.

And most women do.

Furthermore, even men who understand the concepts of contradictory emotional states in an intellectual way, may remain completely unable to enjoy these emotions with women. In the worst case, a man will treat woman’s capability to enjoy contradictory and conflicting emotions with contempt.

One common way to gain an understanding of meta-emotions is to ask a women how she feels about how she feels. Suppose she is feeling good about something. Does she feel good about feeling good? Or does she feel bad about feeling good.