The Rational Male - Positive Masculinity - Rollo Tomassi 2017
“Good decisions come from experience, and experience often comes from bad decisions.”
One of the major hurdles I had to really come to terms with when I decided to start getting involved with the new male paradigm — the Red Pill — was why I was so passionate about it in the first place. Ever since I began contributing on the SoSuave forum and the manosphere in general, I’ve always tried to make a point of not emphasizing my past sexual and personal experiences to base more global ideas upon. Women’s default position is often just this; personalize the instance then come to a universalized conclusion. Not only is it the height of solipsism to think your experience should define the frame for everyone else, but it myopically ignores that exceptions usually prove a rule.
That was my basis for not wanting to relate too much of my own experiences. People can draw too easy a conclusion from the conditions that molded your point of view. This is actually one of the easiest ways to read a woman because their experiences and sense of self-importance tends to define their reality. I wanted a more pragmatic approach, and all this came at a time for me when I decided to explore behavioral psychology. Game, or what would become a form of practical intersexual awareness, influenced this decision for me. Back in my earliest writing, as far as Red Pill awareness went, I wanted to know how the television worked instead of that it just worked when I turned on the power. I wanted to be able to take it apart and put it back together again.
All that said, I was still left with the question, ’why the hell do you even care whether guys unplug?’
I ’unplugged’ largely without the support of a global Internet community of men comparing their experiences, so why even bother? At the time of this writing I have had what most men would consider a very good marriage for over 20 years now. I have a whip-smart and pretty, grown daughter, I make good money, I’m successful at what I do, I’m well traveled, why is it so damn important to make my voice heard?
My detractors will say it’s all about ego appeasement. There’s always some truth to that I suppose; every writer has some ego-investment in their work or they’d never do it. However, it’s when I’m forced to answer questions like this that I have no choice but to apply my own personal experiences to the equation. I’m loath to do so because it’s far too easy for critics to mold them into some intent and purpose that serves their perspective — he’s bitter, he got burned, this is his catharsis, he’s vindictive, etc. However, it’s necessary to present these experiences as observations for a better understanding. I wont pretend to be unbiased, no one is, but I do take the pains to be as self-analytical as I can in what I offer.
So you want to know what my problem is?
My problem is living in a world teeming with young men who’ve become so conditioned to believing that anything remotely masculine is to be ridiculed, vilified or subdued until they have no concept of what conventional masculinity truly entails much less pass off even the possibility that it could be something positive and attractive.
My problem is when a personal, Beta friend swallows a bullet because he, literally, “can’t live without” the girlfriend who left him.
My problem is watching a pastor’s pretty wife leave him and 4 children so she can pursue her Hypergamous instincts after 18 years of marriage because he pedestalized her and deprecated himself (and men) every day of their marriage.
My problem is when a 65 year old man, steeped in his Blue Pill conditioning for his long life, cries in my lap about how he’s been consistently blackmailed with his wife’s intimacy for the past 20 years of their marriage and won’t risk offending her for fear of losing her.
My problem is talking a close friend out of killing both the wife he married too young and the man she just cheated on him with in the parking lot of the motel he’s spent all night tracking her down to with their three children crying in the backseat of their minivan at 4am.
My problem is civilly sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner with a hyper-religious woman and the new millionaire husband she married just 8 months after her former Beta husband of 20 years hung himself from a tree when she decided “he wasn’t the ONE” for her. My problem is staring at the brand new tits and Porsche she bought herself with the money from the home he built for her, that he busted his ass for, just 3 months after he was in the ground. My problem is emphatically teaching a nephew how not to be the Beta his father was, while tactfully pointing out the Hypergamy of his obliviously opportunistic mother.
My problem is watching my father, though decaying from Alzheimer’s, still playing out a Savior Schema in an effort to get laid that he’s thought should work for his entire life at 68 years old. My problem is watching him feebly default to a behavior that had obsessively motivated him to succeed until he was forced into early retirement at 53 and his second wife promptly left him after that.
My problem is consoling a good friend who fathered three daughters with two wives and is being emotionally manipulated by his third (another single mother), who’s become so despondent that he dreads going home from work to deal with his personal situation and waits with anticipation for the weekends to be over.
My problem is counseling a guy who thought the best way to separate himself from “other guys” was to be ’chivalrous’ and date a single mommy, also with three children from two different fathers, only to knock her up for a fourth kid and marry her because “it was the right thing to do.”
My problem is dealing with a 17 year old girl who witnessed her new boyfriend being stabbed 30 times by her ex-boyfriend because he believed “she was his soul-mate” and “would rather live in jail without her than see her with that guy.”
My problem is trying to explain to ’Modern Women’ that — after 20 years of marriage, my wife could still model swim-wear and confidently respects my judgment and decisions as a man — and that I didn’t achieve this by being a domineering, 1950’s caveman-chauvinist who’s crushed her spirit, but that it is an understanding and adherence to living a positively masculine, Red Pill aware role in the marriage.
And my biggest problem is seeing 14 year old Beta boys all ready to sacrifice themselves wholesale to this pitiful, mass-media fueled, pop-culture endorsed, idealized and feminized notion of romantic/soul-mate mythology — all because some other Betas trapped in the same quicksand are affirming and co-enabling each other to further their own sinking and spread this disease to other young men. It’s infectious, and complacency, like misery, loves company. If I have a fear it is that I’m only one man, and I can’t possibly be enough to kick these guys in the ass like their fathers were unable or unwilling to do.
This is why I bother. It really is a matter of life or death sometimes.
Understanding Game, for lack of a better term, and how and why it functions, is literally a survival skill. Think about the importance of the decisions we make based on uninquisitive, flimsy and misdirected presumptions we have been conditioned to believe about love, gender, sex, relationships, etc. Think about the life impact that these decisions have not only on ourselves, but our families, the children that result from them, and every other domino that falls as a repercussion. We rarely stop to think about how our immediate decisions impact people we may not even know at the time we make them. What we do in life, literally, echoes or ripples into eternity. That’s not to go all fortune cookie on you, but it is my reasoning behind my desire to educate, to study, to tear down and build back up what most would ask, “why bother?” Do we really need another book?
In September of 2015 I dared to make my first public appearance in Las Vegas at the Man in Demand Conference hosted by my good friend Christian McQueen. He, myself and bloggers Goldmund and Tanner Guzy came together for a Saturday we wanted to bill as a TED talk for the manosphere. Sort of a meeting of the minds for the Red Pill aware. As it worked out it was a very well balanced collection of men’s experience.
At this conference I was privileged to meet many different men from all walks of life who’d made great efforts to attend. I was introduced to men in their early 20s all the way up to their late 60s. I met some 9 to 5 office workers, some college students, a private investigator, a cop, and some men who’d flown in from an Air Force base in South Korea. I was honored to have one of them personally hand me an Air Force coin for my work. I met men in the military and a guy who’d ridden a bus from across the country in order to meet with me. I met fathers with kids who they told me would be handing them my first book as soon as they were old enough to understand it. I also met men who’d brought their own fathers with them to hear my first in-person talk. Needless to say it was an unqualified honor and easily one of the most humbling experiences of my life to meet men wanting to thank me and my writing for improving or saving their lives — literally and figuratively.
At the conference I had a fellow ask me, “What are you going to write about once you’ve covered everything from a Red Pill perspective?” I kind of paused at this; it’d never occurred to me that I might ever run out of dots to connect with respect to intersexual dynamics. If anything, the very fact that so many men from such diverse backgrounds and experiences had come together in Vegas to hear us speak and to get some one-on-one live time with myself and my fellow bloggers was a testament to how Red Pill awareness applied in so many contexts. There’s a running joke going on with myself and my Twitter followers that says there is a Rational Male post for every circumstance, issue or difference between men and women today. I’m not sure I entirely agree with that, but I do understand the sentiment — I have quite a bit of material collected over the fourteen years I’ve been writing. It’s become a habit of mine to simply link past articles as answer to some seemingly new intersexual contention or story readers will ask for my take on. Needless to say I don’t do 140 characters very well.
So have I tapped everything out? Have I written all there is to be written? At the time of this writing I’m beginning to get people unfamiliar with ’Rollo Tomassi’ sending me links to my own quotes as a response to something I may talk about on a Red Pill forum. My work, it seems, precedes me as an author. This is a very strange place to be I assure you; to have your message overshadow you as a writer as it becomes endemic to the large Red Pill narrative.
All that said, I don’t for a moment believe I’ve tapped out everything there is to say about intersexual dynamics and Red Pill awareness. Intersexual dynamics, the differences between men and women’s sexual — and really life — strategies is very broad. In the three and a half years since my first book published there have been countless other writers starting blogs to focus specifically on various aspects of how Red Pill awareness affects particular social sets, ethnicities, married men, men going their own way (MGTOW), religious and political considerations.
The Red Pill — in it’s original definition of being about the psychological, sociological and interpersonal dynamism between and women — isn’t something I’ve ever thought I would need to categorize. I’m happy that my work is the foundation for so many offshoots of Red Pill specialization, but my first, most important role in this sphere is to stay as attuned as I can to the broad questions and the foundational truths.
My purpose in writing what I do for as long as I have has always been to benefit other men, to hopefully unplug the guys who are on their last nerve, but have a desire to really understand the whats and the whys that have led them to the point in their lives where they are ready to dissolve the barriers that have prevented them from becoming Red Pill aware.
The Red Pill, from the respect that I interpret it, is a praxeology. Simply put, it’s the deductive study of human action, based on the notion that humans engage in purposeful behavior, as opposed to reflexive behavior like sneezing and inanimate behavior. With the action axiom as the starting point, it is possible to draw conclusions about human behavior that are both objective and universal. For example, the notion that humans engage in acts of choice implies that they have preferences, and this must be true for anyone who exhibits intentional behavior.
This is primarily why I continue to use the phrase ’Red Pill awareness’ throughout what I write. Once a man truly unplugs and reorders his life according to what it presents to him, this developed awareness extends to many other aspects of his life than just his intersexual relations. This awareness makes men sensitive to others around him who, like he was, are caught in the same Blue Pill conditioned way of interpreting his personal and social existence. With a Red Pill Lens he begins to see the sales pitches, the ego-investment defenses, and the predictable responses of men and women whose lives have been colored by a feminine-primary social conditioning that has defined their lives for so long they are unaware of it, but would cease to exist without it.
In this volume I would ask that you keep the idea of the Red Pill as a praxeology in mind. It is a loose science at best, but as a science it is always open to new data, new input from the larger whole of men’s experiences. And as such it is always open to reinterpretations, more experimentation and new assessments. The Red Pill is still evolving. It is very much a ’living study’, so to speak.
When I began writing, compiling and rewriting this book I had an initial working title — The Rational Male, The Red Pill — however, as I progressed I shifted this to Positive Masculinity. There came a point in my compiling and editing where I’d taken a different path in the purpose of the book. Where I had wanted to explain and/or defend the initial, intersexual, definition of what the term ’Red Pill’ has increasingly been distorted away from, I found myself leaning more into expressing ways in which this Red Pill awareness could benefit men’s lives in many ways, both in and apart from intersexual dynamics.
I’d hit on this in my Red Pill Parenting series from a couple years ago and I knew I wanted to revisit and make that series a prominent part of this book. As it sits now, it accounts for a full quarter of the book’s content, but as I moved into my writing more I decided that the best way to really define ’The Red Pill” as I know it was to go into the various ways men might benefit from redefining masculinity for themselves in a conventional, Red Pill aware sense.
When I finished the parenting section I realized that I was really laying out general, if not prescriptive, ideas for ways men might better raise their sons and daughters in a feminine-primary social order that’s determined to raise and condition them. My purpose with both the series and section was to equip fathers with Red Pill aware considerations in making their sons and daughters Red Pill aware themselves in order to challenge a world that increasingly wants to convince us that fathers’ influence is superfluous or dangerous.
It was from this point that I’d made a connection; what I was doing was laying out a much-needed reckoning of sorts with regard to what conventional, positive masculinity might mean to future generations of Red Pill aware men. Since my time on the SoSuave forums and the inception of my blog I’ve used the term Positive Masculinity. I’ve even had a category for it on my side bar since I began too. From the time I began writing I’ve always felt a need to vindicate positive, conventional masculinity (as well as evolved conventional gender roles for men and women) and separate it from the deliberately distorted “toxic” masculinity that the Village of the Feminine Imperative would have us believe is endemic today.
I’ve always seen a need to correct this intentionally distorted perception of masculinity with true, evolved, biologically and psychologically inherited aspects of conventional masculinity.
As you may guess this isn’t an easy an task when a Red Pill man must fight against many different varieties of this masculine distortion. We live in an age where any expression of conventional masculinity is conflated with ’bullying’ or ’hyper-masculinity’. Blue Pill conditioning teaches us that inherent strength ought not to be considered “masculine”. If a boy acts in a conventionally masculine way he’s to be sedated and boys as young as four, it’s accepted, can decide their gender to the extent that doctors are chemically altering their physiologies to block hormones and transition them into (binary) girls.
To the Blue Pill Village, a definition of masculinity is either something very obscure, subjective and arbitrary or it’s something extraordinarily dangerous, ridiculous and toxic. As I said, even the most marginal displays of anything conventionally masculine are exaggerated as some barbaric hazing ritual or smacks of hyper, over the top displays of machismo. With so much spite arrayed against masculinity, and with such an arbitrary lack of guidance in whatever might pass for a form of masculinity that feminine-primary society might ever find acceptable, is there anything positive about the masculine at all?
There is only one conclusion we can come to after so much writing on the wall — there is a war on conventional masculinity that’s been going on in ’progressive’ western societies for generations now.
I found it very hard to describe what exactly a Positive Masculinity might mean to Red Pill aware men. One of the more insidious ways that Blue Pill conditioning effectively neuters masculinity is in the recruiting of men to effect their own emasculation. Usually these men themselves have had no real guidance in, or embrace of, conventional masculinity precisely because this Blue Pill conditioning has robbed them of maturing into an understanding of it. Blue Pill fathers raise Blue Pill sons and the process repeats, but in that process is the insurance that Blue Pill sons are denied an education in what it means to be a man.
This book is a loose attempt at giving men actionable ideas in how to apply Red Pill awareness in their lives. This book is not intended to magically convert you into an ’Alpha Male’, nor is it a step-by-step program about how to “change your mindset” in order to make your life better. If you make that transition, great, but I don’t have a cure for you or any other man and I would caution against taking to heart the formula or program of any other Life or Dating Coach who wants to sell it to you. The Red Pill is not one-size-fits-all. Individual men will have individual solutions for their own particular circumstance, advantages and disadvantages.
What I do have for you is a series of ideas, concepts and observations that will help you fashion your own solutions to the most common problems that vex most men in this era. I offer you tools to build a life based on a new awareness which hopefully frees you of the consequences of making uninformed choices that will affect your own life, and the lives of those you choose to include in it.
Different men have differing needs from Red Pill awareness, this book’s intent is to give you some ideas as to how best to implement it whether you’re married, single, dating non-exclusively, divorced, a parent or planning to be one someday. As I mentioned in the beginning of this introduction, there are many faces and demographics of the Red Pill and while I cannot cater a plan for every man, my hope is to give you a firm grasp of how this awareness can affect you and be utilized by you at various stages of your life.
In the second book in the Rational Male series, Preventive Medicine, I outlined what men could likely expect of women at various phases of their maturity and station in life. In this book I will venture to outline what a man might expect from themselves in a feminine-primary social order, from women, kids, academia, and to interpret this within the context of Red Pill awareness.
Furthermore, it’s my hope to give you a few ’ah-ha’ moments that not only shake you from a Blue Pill illusionment, but to also spark an idea about how you might put that information to best use in your own life. One of the more satisfying aspects of the reader feedback I’ve received from the past two books has been listening to the ’moment of revelation’ stories men have told me they had in reading a particular passage that directly spoke to them. I expect there will be similar epiphanies in this book, but when you come to one it’s my hope that you begin to think of ways in which you might apply it to your life in the most immediate sense.
Guidelines, not rules
As most of my reader know, I don’t deal in prescriptions. I’ve never believed in cookie-cutter, bullet point lists meant to teach men the 12 habits of highly effective Alpha men. In fact, my mission statement isn’t really even about improving or correcting mens’ lives per se. My purpose is exploring ideas and dispelling misconceptions (often deliberate) about intersexual dynamics. In all of my books I make a point of reiterating that I’m not in the business of making better men, I’m in the business of men making themselves better men.
My hope is that this book will help you make better choices based on a broader understanding of the intersexual dynamics, but also a better understand of how those dynamics affect the other aspects of your life. That may be reflected in your workplace, your family, or perhaps it motivates you to become active in a social respect; maybe it redirects your education, career or how you (will) approach parenting your sons and daughters. Maybe this information helps you reconstruct yourself, or your marriage, however, it may also destroy the more unhealthy relationships you’ve been as yet unable to assess your part in. The Red Pill has a very discomforting way of exposing the long-term results of a life that’s been founded on Blue Pill illusions and a lack of wanting to confront them.
For all of that, remember that, as a praxeology the Red Pill is about suggestions, not hard and fast laws. Since the advent of what’s become the Manosphere there has been a laboring effort to force fit this otherwise amoral, loose science, into various doctrines, codes of ethics and ideologies that distort the objectivity of the Red Pill. There is a definite want to justify whatever a man’s pet ideology is by aligning it with the term “Red Pill”. It’s a hot moniker to call whatever you happen to believe in “Red Pill” in 2017. After all, it’s just an abstraction for ’truth’, right? I would very much warn against anyone using the term Red Pill to foster an agenda. This is why I believe in guidelines, suggestions and objective truths that are open to future interpretations rather than rules that straitjacket the Red Pill to accommodate ideology, or justify Blue Pill idealism that’s too uncomfortable to disabuse oneself of. The Red Pill should always be ’open source’ and any grab at ownership or any need for specificity should always be suspect of another motive.
How to read this book
When I wrote the first Rational Male book I had no plans to write even a second or third book, however, as the popularity of the first book still continues to spread I’ve come to see the Rational Male as a core source book of sorts. The Rational Male represents a foundation upon which supplemental volumes might follow. After I’d published The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine it dawned on me that any ’sequels’ ought not to be sequels, but rather supplements to the first book. When I was writing and compiling The Rational Male my instinct was to put as much into the book as possible since I figured it would be my only work. Unfortunately, this also meant I was cramming as much into the book as possible without a thought to interpretation or what might follow after it.
It became apparent to me that The Rational Male would be a kind of source book for Red Pill intersexual dynamics after publication. Thus, Preventive Medicine followed it using the same resources set forth in the first book. As such, I would advise readers to read The Rational Male before delving into this volume. Much of what I’ll outline in this book presumes a familiarity with the material in The Rational Male. You can still get a lot out of this book ’as is’, but there are established Red Pill principles, acronyms and idioms that only make sense with an understanding of the ideas in the first book. So, for as much as this will sound like a marketing pitch, please, read The Rational Male first. After that, read, The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine if you like. Certain ideas, like Mental Point of Origin, are discussed in that volume. However, Preventive Medicine is one more supplement; not an absolute necessity, but it will further your understanding in Red Pill awareness. I should also add that reading this volume before Preventive Medicine won’t necessarily throw off some prescribed reading order or linear understanding.
Lastly, I’m going to make an appeal to you to read this (and really all my writing) as free from distractions as possible. That’s tough to do these days, I know. I’m asking you this because it’s my belief that introspection is a necessary part of understanding Red Pill awareness. You have to give yourself the opportunity to digest this material and see how it’s applicable to your own life.
Today we live in what I call the TL;DR generation. That stands for Too Long ; Didn’t Read in case you weren’t aware. TL;DR is a summation meant to give a reader only the most basic information about a particular forum post or blog entry. I can understand why this info bite is popular in an online world where our attention spans are constantly distracted from one stimulus to the next. It seems like pragmatism to just run off a few salient bullet points about what you just spent the better part of an hour to compose, but with regard to understanding Red Pill intersexual dynamics it actually puts a reader at a disadvantage. I’ll explain.
In so many forums, in so much media TL;DR pervades our thought process. We want to get to the important parts to see if we agree or disagree and rarely invest our online time in sussing out all of the particulars that led to those TL;DR points. This corrupts our method of really learning something, and in the case of changing one’s life with a full understanding of Red Pill awareness it’s simply impractical to hope to get the ideas without putting in the effort. And that’s the point, education takes effort.
I’ve had many requests from my readers on the Red Pill Reddit forum to just distill down ideas I’ve put a lot of time and insight into developing. Speak more simplistically, give us a TL;DR summation and we’ll take it from there. The problem with this line of thinking is that in the Red Pill praxeology, the process in coming to foundational ideas and principles is equally important as describing the dynamics themselves. I find it ironic that the same critics who endlessly request several peer reviewed long-form experimental studies in order to give my ideas any credence are often the least likely to actually read them due exactly to this TL;DR phenomenon.
On the few occasions I’ve made an honest attempt to strip down a post for easy digestibility the process goes like this: I make a TL;DR summation of the points I think best exemplify what my ideas are about and an under-informed reader turns into a critic of those points. They say, “Yes Rollo, that’s all fine and well, but Aha! I got you because you didn’t think of reasons X, Y and Z and I don’t believe you.” These reason I did, in fact, factor in to my ideation process of coming to those points, but because I’ve just catered my process to the 8th grade attention span and reading comprehension of readers who want the TL;DR convenience I’ve bypassed the process of how I came to my conclusions. What happens next is I then go into a more detailed explanation of reasons X, Y and Z and reexplain what would’ve been made clear had a reader simply invested some time in enriching themselves with both the process and the conclusions.
So, you see, TL;DR is actually the less pragmatic approach in that it takes more time to grasp a concept with the back and forth need for explanations. In other arenas, in other subject matter, this may be a convenience, but with the sensitive nature of Red Pill awareness, and the veritable certainty that the ideas will challenge a person’s deeply ego-invested Blue Pill beliefs, making a commitment to devoting the time needed to understand the material is key. So, that said, I would humbly request that you ensure that you’re distraction-free when reading any of my books.
The Rational Male is weighty stuff. Not a week goes by that I don’t get an email or a Tweet from a man praising my work, but moreover, they tell me how they keep returning to reread key parts of the book as their lives’ circumstances change. This is a good thing. It’s actually how I intended the books to be read — with a highlighter pen to pick out the parts that jump out at a man and with a pencil to scribble in liner notes in the margins.
As I mention in all of my books’ introductions, The Rational Male is meant to be a kind of living text that a man can keep coming back to. I want men to discuss it with other men (and women if warranted). The knowledge and insight is something that needs to be constantly debated and developed. I always imagine just the title, The Rational Male, on the cover being enough to get sideways glances or scoffs from women and feminized men, but this was intentional. It’s triggering to be sure, but it’s also meant to prompt discussion. I’d never want The Rational Male to be some banner or icon of some ’new masculinity’ movement to be waved in the faces of feminists and social justice warriors. With some men I get the impression that The Rational Male could turn into some kind of Bible to thump in the presence of ’plugged-in’ men and women. That’s not the sentiment that I wrote this and my other volumes in.
Always remember, the material herein is meant for conversation. I understand the eagerness of men who’ve had their lives changed for the better to want to ’share the gospel’ so to speak, and I’m glad for that, but I also know that changing the minds of others only comes from open discourse and conversation. I’m fond of saying that I only hold up a mirror, you’ve got to want to look into it. This is the approach I take when it comes to ’unplugging’ men; they have to come to it and I can only be ready to discuss ideas when they are. Hopefully this, and my other works, will help facilitate that discussion when the time comes for you as well.
I’m prefacing this here because in this book the emphasis is more focused on men’s personal development. I’m kind of reluctant to classify this book as “personal development” because, to me, that smacks of the Power of Positive Thinking schtick of positive mindset gurus selling old, formulaic optimism in whatever book or seminar program they’re selling. I’ve never been interested in telling men how they can go about becoming better men or Real Men®.
I am interested in giving men the tools with which they can create better lives, individually, by applying Red Pill awareness to their individual states. I have always been wary of ’coaches’ who claim to have a step-by-step plan to make men better at life, career and love, so I’ll state here that this book’s motive isn’t to improve your life. I sincerely hope that your own betterment is a byproduct of this, but the intent is to inform and educate you.
I’ve separated this book into four main sections: Red Pill Parenting, The Feminine Nature, Social Imperatives and Positive Masculinity.
Red Pill Parenting is primarily aimed at the men who’ve asked me to go into some depth about how to go about raising their sons and daughters in a Red Pill aware context. Of the sections in this book I feel this will be the most potentially controversial. I say this not because Red Pill men will have any problem with what I outline in it, nor is it due to the ideas and suggestions I offer, but because it is a direct affront to how mainstream society hopes to socialize the coming generations of both genders. I’ll let the material do the talking, but I expect a lot of flack for it from a feminine-primary social order to which this parenting advice is a threat. Much of it undermines most pop-psychology pablum about parenting today.
The Feminine Nature is a collection of essays I’ve rewritten and curated from my blog that specifically address the most predictable aspects of female psychology. In the sense that it outlines and explores the evolutionary and socialized reasons for women’s most common behavior this section reads the most similar to my first book. In that book I touched a lot of what I believe constitutes the female mind (and expanding it to become the Feminine Imperative), but in this section I explore some more specific aspects of the female psyche.
In Social Imperatives I detail how the female psyche extrapolates into western(izing) cultural narratives, social dictates and legal and political legislation. This is the Feminine Imperative writ large and in it I’ll explore how feminism, women’s sexual strategy and primary life goals have molded our society into what we take for granted today. The ’women’s empowerment’ narrative, and the rise of a blank-slate egalitarian equalism, masks a form of female supremacy that has fundamentally altered western culture. These essays directly address and illustrate this phenomenon in an organized reading flow.
Finally, Positive Masculinity is comprised of essays I’ve reformed and expanded on that will give you a better idea of how to define masculinity in a conventional and rational perspective for yourself. I saved this section to be the last in the book because everything that leads up to it is descriptive and written to increase your ’Red Pill’ awareness about the true personal and social environment in which you live. Positive Masculinity (and really this book in whole) are ideas from which I expect you’ll want to apply in your own life at some point. In my second book, Preventive Medicine, the idea was to help men to know what they might expect from women, and what prompts them to it at various phases of their maturity. I wrote it in response to the common refrain “I wish I’d known all of this stuff before I got married, got divorced, I was dating (or not) in my 20s, etc.” In Positive Masculinity I make an effort to give men some food for thought about what they might expect from themselves at certain stages of their own maturity.
While I’m not suggesting a codified return to ’traditional masculinity’ or to lay out some rule book for “real men”, I am going to suggest an outline of what I believe might constitute a retaking of a conventional masculinity for men. In what we call the Manosphere there have been various efforts to define real masculinity. Most of these are really just rewriting of what old school, old social contract, traditional masculinity was about before the sexual revolution and before mass social feminization. What I’ll suggest in this section is a reclaiming of conventional, evolved, biologically prompted masculine nature by men. Furthermore, I believe this masculinity, founded in Red Pill awareness, can be a net positive for men, the women they involve in their lives, their families and society on whole.
It’s my hope that we can push away tropes like “toxic” or “hyper” masculinity that our feminine-primary social order would have us characterize masculinity as. To be a man today is to be poisoned by testosterone. Masculinity is a bad word for men, while women make it something they dallyingly believe makes them greater. For men, this social order would have us believe that masculinity is something to be avoided or something that can be defined in feminized ambiguity. Even just suggesting you know what it is to “be a man” or you’ve embraced your masculine nature makes you a suspected criminal — or a ridiculous child with fantasies of manhood.
My hope is this book can change that perception; if not for larger society then for the sake of the individual and his family. Masculinity can be a positive, even (especially) including the aspects that feminized society finds so scary. The aggressive, sometimes hostile, aspects of masculinity have a place in the whole of it, but I believe we have to accept the entirety of conventional masculinity. When we only take the parts of it that we’re comfortable with we’re left with an inauthentic, unoffensive watered down masculinity that only serves the feminine reinterpretation.
Western culture has never had a greater need for risk takers and emboldened men who instinctively understand their masculine nature. After having read this volume I would ask that you take stock of both yourself and the social environment going on around you. In this book you’ll read about what I call the Red Pill Lens. My hope is that you’ll apply this new way of seeing things to a constructive effort of your own in understanding that raw, conventional masculinity can be a positive for your life.
As always, please pass on this book to a man you think needs it. I make the least amount of royalties from the printed version of my books, but these are what I encourage the purchase of the most because they inspire men to share this knowledge. You can’t really do that with a digital or audio copy, but share this with other men. Discuss the contents, even the parts you strongly disagree with. There will again be parts you’ll have an ’Aha!’ moment reading, and there’ll be parts that might make you angry. Thats good, that’s what sparks insight, and that insight is what helps change us.
— Rollo Tomassi June, 2017