The formative years
If what we refer to as Red Pill awareness has a lasting effect of any future significance, my hope is that this awareness becomes preventive medicine for young men’s feminine conditioning of today.
This Red Pill awareness for men is the single greatest threat to the Feminine Imperative and feminine social primacy. I’ve covered aspects of this prevention in many posts on The Rational Male blog, but most were more of an after-the-fact perspective from more mature men’s experiences, and how they wish they’d have known earlier in life about the Red Pill, Game and the intergender dynamics I’ve written about over the past 12 years of my writing.
When I originally wrote the post Navigating the SMP (sexual marketplace) on the blog and introduced the comparative sexual market value (SMV) chart I had no idea how influential, as well as relatively accurate, it would be in the manosphere and beyond that arena. My hope then was to educate, in a tongue-in-cheek way, a younger generation of Red Pill men about the basic schedule of how men and women’s sexual market value waxes and wanes during the various phases of each sex’s lifetime. This post — and more than few subsequent ones — was prompted by the desire to have an outline of what young men could generally anticipate in a contemporary, and westernized, gender landscape.
Critics of that SMV outline simplistically dismiss it as just an effort in the wishful thinking of older men convincing themselves they possess a higher sexual market value than they really warrant. However, the salient message of that graph is an uncomfortable exposing of the strategies women use in optimizing Hyper-gamy over the course of their lifetimes. When considered chronologically, many identifiable patterns become apparent both in women’s motivations and behaviors at or around distinct phases of a woman’s life.
While regarding her capacity to fulfill them at any particular phase of maturity (attractiveness), men can get a better overall idea of what is motivating a particular woman during that period of her life and adjust their Game and/or expectations accordingly to a Man’s best advantage relative to that phase.
A manosphere staple, Roissy, wrote a fantastic piece about the difficulty of Gaming women by age brackets back in 2010, and I’ll refer readers with a mind for Game to cross reference that article after reading what I propose in this section (see the appendix). With a better understanding of these phases, and the SMV fluctuations of these phases, a Man can more easily adjust his Game, maintain Frame, apply Amused Mastery, as well as a host of other Red Pill / Game practices covertly and confidently with a reasonable expectation of outcome — or at the very least, a better understanding of the personal pitfalls and traps that may await him.
One common misunderstanding most men have with regard to the way Hyper-gamy effects women is how the rationalizations of her past and present sexual behaviors affect a man considering marrying (or divorcing) her. What men most commonly lack, or willfully ignore, is that a woman was subject to conditions at particular periods in her life which motivated her to those behaviors — the results of which affect her present and future conditions.
I’m not sure it’s realistic to expect an inexperienced man in this situation to see any of her sexual hang-ups or self-consciousness with him as the red flags that we can, as objective observers, and being dissociated with his condition. However, there is a certain awareness that comes with Red Pill awareness that helps us better understand what those flags are.
The armchair counseling most men offer each other usually presumes that a man should have known a woman looks for her Beta provider at the time he happened to ’choose’ to marry her. It happened because at that woman’s phase of life, when her sexual market value to the Jerks and Bad Boys she had an affinity for was waning, women commonly seek to consolidate long term security with the stability a Beta man provides.
But can we really expect this foresight from a guy who in all likelihood based his decisions to marry her on false romanticized premises and a thoroughly Blue Pill hope that she’d ’come around’ to being more sexual (or as sexual as the more Alpha men she’d been with prior) with him later in marriage? Can we really expect him to know what her motivations were in her past for her long-term security when he’d never had the benefit of ever having those motivations spelled out for him by Red Pill awareness?
It’s with this in mind that I’m presenting this outline here.
What I’ve constructed is a loose and generalized chronology of how women effect their Hypergamy over the course of a typical woman’s life between the ages of 15 and 50.
While I’m fully prepared for the same outcries of over-generalizing and the “not all women are like that” (NAWALT) rationales that the infamous SMV graph inspired, understand this; before any woman or feminine-aligned man comes up with those predictable objections, this is an outline. Variables like culture, ethnicity, moralism, socio-economic status and outlying circumstance are all factors to consider when evaluating the motivations and behaviors of any woman. This time line however is intended as a road map to follow to get a better understanding of what motivates women at particular phases of their lives and hopefully help men to better prepare themselves for the strategies women will use to optimize Hyper-gamy during those phases.
The Teen Phase
I intentionally began the original relative SMV graph at age 15 since this is about the post-pubescent age during which girls come into their maturation and teenage boys begin to take a real sexual awareness of them.
As you’ll see on the overall time line, girls prioritize their attraction based on archetypal Alpha characteristics with regards to teenage attraction cues. This is largely based on physical attributes and the physical prowess of teenage boys.
These physical arousal cues girls find primarily attractive in adolescent boys (later men) will continue for the better part of a woman’s life, but during a girl’s formative years her foremost attraction is for the ’hawt guy’ with a good body, the correct eye color, facial symmetry and the right haircut.
Between the ages of 15 and 25 young women associate and prioritize their sexual selectivity according to men’s physical features. Even a relatively introverted guy with a Beta mindset and/or a brooding ’creative’ personality can still be perceived as Alpha if his physical presence aligns with a girl’s physical attraction profile.
The main reasoning for this is fairly obvious in that physical cues (though also influenced externally) are primarily innate. In other words, a teenage girl simply doesn’t have the life experience or a sense of provisioning necessity for much else to be an attraction consideration for her. Her mate prioritization cues on visceral arousal. Thus, this physical interest from adolescence through young adulthood is the top priority for both short-term arousal and, perceptually, long-term attraction.
These physical attraction / arousal cues are intrinsic. Extrinsic attraction cues such as status and social proof do factor in progressively as girls mature, but the priority is the physical. Other extrinsic factors (status, Alpha confidence, Game, etc.), while peripherally beneficial, are prioritized lower due to the simple fact that a young girl lacks any real experience of a guy with Game, social savvy or a real need for personal or emotional provisioning.
Note that all of this is predicated on a variety of external existing resources. There is a whole lot of support for young women that is not visible to them, and that support is a product of a tremendous excess of resources at the society-wide level as well as the family level.
Long term provisioning potential during this phase is rarely even an afterthought for a young woman. From adolescence forward a woman’s dualistic sexual strategy primarily revolves around short term breeding opportunity — the ’Alpha Fucks’ side of Hypergamy. This can be attributed to a girl / young woman’s provisioning needs being relatively accommodated for by family, the state in some effect, or even her own self-provisioning, as well as the breeding urgency that comes with puberty, hormones and youth culture.
I’ll add the caveat here that a woman’s prioritization of the physical is inversely proportional to the degree to which her provisioning needs are being met beyond seeking a mate or mating opportunities. In other words, if things aren’t secure at home (Daddy Issues) an adolescent girl physically and mentally prepares herself for a long term mate earlier than when a solid, positive-masculine father is present in her life and in the home.
This can be a precarious situation for a teenage girl since her maturity and understanding of what would make a man a good long-term prospect are limited by what she lacks in a positive-masculine role, and combined with an attraction priority that’s based on the physical attributes of a teenage boy.
The short version for teenage Game (when you’re in high school) is that looks, physique and physical prowess are a girl’s attraction priority. This priority will build a foundation for her attraction cues later as she matures, but the primary importance during this phase is looks and performance.
The Break Phase
I’ve added this phase to the end of the late teen years because this ’breaking’ event has become an increasingly too common, and potentially damaging, occurrence amongst young men I’ve counseled.
Generally the Break Phase comes at or about the time of a young woman’s senior year (or shortly thereafter) of high school when she’s forced into a conflict between continuing a monogamous relationship she began in her teenage years, and severing it as college or a simple want for sexual independence looms closer as she approaches young adulthood, graduation and possibly moving away from her home for an indefinite period of time.
This is a major frustration for Beta minded young men predisposed to a feminized conditioning that convinces them they’ll be rewarded for loyalty, support and building relational equity with a girl. I’m highlighting this phase because often enough it’s at this beginning point young men are most prepared to com-promise their life’s ambitions to play the idealistic supportive role their feminine conditioning predisposes them for. The danger being that long-term life decisions made in order to maintain a relationship he believes his sacrifices will be rewarded for will be an equitable sacrifice of personal goals or developing passions and personal potential.
Here is the warning for any late teen / early adult man: This is generally the point at which you’ll have to make some real personal assessments of yourself if you’re involved with a steady girlfriend. This will likely be the first test of your Red Pill awareness conflicting with your feminine-primary conditioning. Most Blue Pill guys entertain the hope of the ’invisible friend’, and a long distance relationship for the first time at this juncture. That or they alter their educational priorities and ambitions to accommodate maintaining their relationship.
Statistically, the girlfriend you expected to build a Disney-story life with will break up with you as her options expand and yours constrict (due to prioritizing her goals above your own). If this is your situation the decisions you make at this stage are up to you, but understand (barring personal convictions) this event will come as a woman’s sexual market value begins it’s rapid ascent and along with it personal and sexual opportunities she’s been scarcely aware of until now.
The Party Years
The five-year span between 20 and 25 are what I euphemistically call a woman’s ’Party Years’. It’s at this stage women generally experience their peak SMV (22-23 years old), and as I stated in the Navigating the SMP post, at no other point in a woman’s life will so many socio-sexual options be available to her.
A lot of manosphere moralists believe that women ought to marry and get pregnant during the party years since this is the point of peak fertility as well as physical beauty, and in the not so distant, pre-sexual revolution past this certainly made sense. However, under the social conditions of the last 60 years, women’s priorities have changed.
The available opportunities — social, sexual, educational and career-wise — that a woman experiences during these years are afforded to her in relation to her SMV. At no point will you find a woman more cocky and self-assured of her predominance in society according to the options she enjoys relative to her attractiveness. Her personal image will be one based on merit, and while it’s certainly possible she is talented or intelligent, her opportunities are predicated on her attractiveness and the leverage it has on other’s (men and women’s) decision making.
The physical arousal priorities she had in high school remain a top attraction priority, however, as she matures into the new experiences her SMV peak affords her, status, and later affluence (wealth or potential provisioning) start getting added to the attraction mix. As women learn the utility of their relative SMV, and begin to understand a future need for long term provisioning (on some level of consciousness) they come into a better understanding of the transactional nature of their sexual agency.
It’s during the party years that women begin to prefer ’dating’ men older than themselves. At this phase, this is generally between a 4-6 year difference, however, Roissy postulated that even more mature men still have potential depending upon their own SMV:
It may be hard to believe, but it is often easier to bed a very young woman than an older woman, if you are an older man. This is because 20-40% of women are specifically attracted to older men. It is hard-wired in them, and this hard-wiring can be reinforced by poor family upbringing resulting from divorce of parents or absentee fathers. Single moms are the greatest source of future generations of slutty daughters the world has ever known.
During the party years, Hypergamy is still firmly rooted in physical attraction and short term mating cues, however, it’s during this time women begin to develop an appreciation for the personality cues of confidence and (Alpha) character as it relates to her long term investment.
Later in the party years a woman’s Hypergamy leads her to look for the Alpha bad boy who might also be molded (tamed) into her long term ideal — this is the Tarzan Effect; the want for an idealized optimal balance of hypergamic interests in the same Alpha male. The idea is one that an Alpha Man might be tamed, in some cases coerced via pregnancy, into assuming the providership role (Beta Bucks) the other half of her sexual strategy demands.
One point of attraction older men (who capitalize on their SMV potential) have is that their capacity to provide for more than themselves, and still maintain an above average physique, tends to be a form of preselection for this burgeoning awareness of a need for hypergamic balance as women mature past the latter part of their party years.
Just to be clear, as a woman becomes more cognizant of her decreasing capacity to sexually compete with the attractiveness of younger women, her attraction for more than just the physical aspects of men begins to assume a higher priority. Those aspects (status, confidence, affluence, realized ambitions, worldly maturity, etc.) are typically found in men old enough to have had the experience to acquire them.
Many of the predominant social conventions that persist through the Teen, Pre-Adult and early Party Years phases find their roots in women’s childhoods. These conventions may be more or less pronounced for a teenage girl depending on her parents’ involvement in her upbringing, but popular culture and a feminine-primary social order already have a pre-established series of conventions she’s expected to invest herself in.
For the most part these conventions key upon an implied superiority of her gen-der while ridiculing any valuable aspect of masculinity beyond a Beta boy’s oafish usefulness to her. These conventions are generally learned in an ambient environment that boys are encouraged to reinforce and affirm for her, but increasingly these social conventions are becoming overt and accepted.
By a girl’s ’tween’ years she’s seen enough Disney feminine-empowerment features that the expectations and concerns of girls becomes one less about meriting the near-valueless attentions of mediocre boys and more about the girls who will eventually become her intrasexual rivals.
Little girls fight in an entirely different realm than do boys. Where boys fight in a the physical realm, girls fight in the psychological. That’s not to exclude girls from actually coming to blows, but far more common is the occurrence of psychological combat, and in no realm is this more effective than the denial of reinforcing attention within a female social collective.
Little girls have a predictable tendency to form small, girl-only collectives or ’peer clutches’ from the time they are introduced into kindergarten. This social collective progressively becomes a rewarding and reinforcing social unit, locking out those not included, and nurturing those who are included.
This dynamic can last through high school (i.e. cliques, etc.), into college and into mature adulthood, but the commonality within all variations of this clutch is the qualifying influence of the affirming power of attention. Should one member offend another, it’s the hierarchy of an individual member’s ability to maintain the most attention that generally determines the victor in the dispute.
The worst consequence of such a dispute being ostracization from the group, thus the absolute denial of this reaffirming attention-as-reinforcement. This attention can be from any source; within the group, outside the group, but opposite sex attention becomes the most valuable after puberty. Attention-attraction capacity denotes social rank within the peer clutch. The more attractive the girl, the more popular she becomes and the more influence she wields. This isn’t to say that any particular girl cognizantly realizes this.
However, when ostracized from the collective, this capacity for consistently attracting attention in a high degree makes her despised. The attention can still be beneficial for affirmation (i.e. realized jealousy), it’s just the intent that has changed.
Thus, women use attention not only for their own affirmation, individually and collectively, but also to do combat with each other. Far more damaging than physical fighting is the long term psychological impact of denying this reinforcing satisfaction of attention, or better still, delegitimizing or disqualifying a girl / woman’s capacity to attract this attention. Combine this with a woman’s natural, and innately higher agency to communicate both verbally and non-verbally (i.e. covert communications) and you can see the potential this has in damaging a rival. This might explain a woman’s natural propensity to gossip.
When a woman attacks the respectability and character of another (“she’s such a slut”), in essence, she is assaulting the woman’s agency for garnering attention by delegitimizing it.
Attention is the coin of the realm in girl-world, and this is an aspect of the feminine psyche that men would be wise to remember during all stages of women’s maturity. Attention is valuable to both the twelve year old girl learning how to apply her first makeup and the eighty year old matron applying it for so long she can’t remember not doing it.
There are of course going to be incidents of women who, for some condition or circumstance opt out of their party years. Either their socioeconomic situation prevents it, or an early, unplanned pregnancy, or for religious convictions, but whatever the reason they move past this phase without a sense of having capital-ized on it.
In some respects this may seem to be a better choice than riding the proverbial ’cock carousel’ into her Epiphany and Transitory phase (discussed in the next chapter), but it’s important to remember that these circumstances don’t disqualify a woman from the maturation process I’ve described here, they simply manifest relative behaviors in alternative ways.
In some cases it may be the source of resentment at a man for having ’held her back’ from all of the experiences her girlfriends went through (through which she vicariously lived), or it may be her coming into a better understanding of how other men (perceptually) meet her hypergamic balance better than the one she settled for earlier than she had the maturity to understand. As we’ll explore in the next chapter, this resentment can be a later source of marital dissatisfaction (and divorce) for women approaching the Epiphany and Transitory phases.
The Break Phase is also an important concept to grasp here. While it commonly first occurs around the time of high school graduation, a Break Phase isn’t limited to that period. The Break can come later, when a woman is finishing up college or just prior to, or starting a job or grad school. Commonly a later Break Phase generally happens during women’s peak SMV or around the ages of 22 to 25.
There could also be more than one Break Phase — one at around 18, and another at around 22 or 23 depending on the context and circumstances of a young woman’s life.
Later Breaks seem to occur with women at the time of major life events — high school graduation, college graduation, moving to a new locale, making a career move. In general, the events and the conditions leading up to them is what a man needs to be most aware of in anticipating a Break Phase crisis with a woman.
The reason a woman has a Break is that her circumstances are changing; which affects her emotions. She’s changing her surroundings and then there’s how she feels about that change, and how she considers a man’s involvement in that change.
The other thing to keep in mind around Breaks is that the crisis forces her to make a decision about whether the change is more important than the man she is with when the Break happens. In a feminine-primary social order most of the time she decides that the change is more important. This is likely because, women are acculturated in a social order that reinforces women’s aspirations and ’empowerment’, and encourages her to postpone intimate and family relations until she attains some nebulous goal state. At that time she will always be able to find another man (or so she’s told).
Needless to say this section is designed to help young men make better life choices by making them aware of what they can expect in their adolescence and young adulthood. Hold this outline in your head and plan accordingly, but also I think it should help a guy get a better perspective of the events he’ll likely find himself in and understand the influences he’s subject to by the women he involves and associates himself with.
If you’re a young man reading this section, my best advice is to consider that the decisions and circumstances you’re confronted with today will drastically change in less than a decade. Understand that making life-changing emotional or idealistically motivated decisions now will affect the direction of your life.
That might sound like something your old man or a school counselor will tell you in your senior year — I know because you couldn’t tell me shit when I was in my senior year — but what they wont tell you (because they’re conditioned to ignore it) is that the “do the right thing” idealism you think will be reciprocally appreciated by a girl or a young woman is part of a feminine-primary conditioning you’ve been raised in.
You are the hardest reader to reach from a Red Pill perspective because young men are taught to believe that the more you suffer, the more you support, the more you lift up a girlfriend to help her realize her dreams at the cost of your own, the more it shows you really care.
A final thought to remember — with the exception of the most necessitous and the most ethically convicted, most women in the developed world are literally incapable of committing to anything between 18-20 and not just because they’ve got some naive ideas in their head, but because they literally just walked into the candy store, and they’re not about to leave with the first flavor they try.
It’s important to remember this now, because it will be a double standard women will hold for men later in life. “Men are commitment-phobic” is a popular social convention trope women like to repeat when they reach an age where their own SMV is in decline (The Epiphany Phase) and they want to cash out of the sexual marketplace with a man they can consolidate a long term provisioning with.
As that man enters his SMV ascendancy and he enters the “candy store” the commitment imperative she enjoyed around 19 changes for him at 33. This is the parallel men will experience in respect to commitment; he is responsible to commitment with a woman, while she is responsible in exploring all her options.