The Epiphany Phase
The Late Party Years
Although not a subsection itself, the latter third of a woman’s Party Years deserves some mention in that the end of this phase is often a prelude for the rationales women develop leading into what I call the Epiphany Phase. Certain third party SMV studies (online dating site informatics for instance) will place a woman’s peak SMV as late as 25 -26 years old. While this is generous for women’s sensibilities, I’d argue that this is far too late in a woman’s life progression when you consider that in earlier eras, men and women achieved social adulthood at much earlier ages.
More commonly in our times most women express a desire to settle down, be married and start a family at or around the age of 27 to 29, and most first marriages do in fact happen at an average age of 28 (U.S. Census data corroborates this for 2013).
The popularized, ideal of a woman capitalizing on her prime earning years — often excused as fulfilling her professional potential — is a primary contributor to this marriage postponement phenomenon, but it’s important to point out to men dating women in this phase that the last two years of the Party phase will be the stage at which a woman will begin to feel a more pressing urgency for long-term commitment.
It’s during this phase that women, with the foresight to see it, will make their best attempts to consolidate on marriage with the man who best personifies, or has the potential to personify, both Alpha sexual-genetics combined with the providership and parental investment that an optimized Hypergamy seeks to balance in the same man. At no other time will a woman feel more urgency in capitalizing on her still prime attractiveness and sexual agency with a man she believes will fulfill the dual dictates of her sexual strategy.
“Where is this going?”
This is the most common phase in which a man will be asked “where is this going?” from a woman, or is delivered an ultimatum of withdrawal of intimacy (no more sex, or threats of break up) if no marriage proposal is forthcoming in the foreseeable future.
Although women’s preferred method of communication rests in the covert form, as she matures towards a condition of a lessened capacity to intra-sexually compete with her younger peers (competition anxiety) most men discover that women in this demographic, by necessity, lean more on overt communication.
The coquetry, indirectness and blasé indifference she used to enjoy and hold male attentions captive during her SMV peak years is progressively replaced with a more direct upfront communication directed toward the certainty of promised, committed, assurances of future security.
The urgency of her need to consolidate on a supportive monogamy intensifies in direct relation to the intrasexual competition stress she experiences as she ages and her sexual market value declines in comparison to that competition. This urgency makes the need for overt communication (men’s direct content based communication) increasingly more imperative for her so there is less and less margin for men to misunderstand her need.
Bear in mind that security for women isn’t always manifested as financial provisioning, but can assume the forms of emotional investment, parental investment, physical security and, most importantly, fulfilling a psychological need for a masculine role of stability, dominance and direction in her life.
Of primary importance is the consideration of women’s drive to realize the Al-phi Fucks / Beta Bucks (AFBB) optimized balance of their hypergamous interests in the same man at this stage. That’s not to say this isn’t always the operative for feminine Hypergamy, but it’s during the late Party Years phase that a woman, on some level of consciousness, begins to realize this time is her best opportunity to use her quick-burn SMV to consolidate on what she thinks could be a realizable optimized Hypergamy. This isn’t due to premonitions of hitting the Wall of her SMV potential per se, but it is her first self-acknowledgment of her diminishing capacity to sexually compete for attention with her competition for that optimized guy — younger women experiencing their own SMV peak years.
During this period women will often make their first earnest attempts to find ways — sometimes by coercion — to ’fix’ an Alpha into satisfying the Beta Bucks side of her Hypergamy equation, or, to seriously reevaluate an already committed Beta man’s potential to ’Man Up’ and become more Alpha, be more ambitious and assesses (what she believes will be) his future SMV potential.
Lastly, bear in mind that women in this phase experience this urgency in direct proportion to what their looks, sexuality and command of male attention will still afford them. It’s simple reasoning to figure that women who maintain their physical attractiveness and sexual agency, and are consistently rewarded for it with male attention, will prolong that state for as long as possible. Thus, some attractive women may perpetuate their Party Years until such time as that attention abruptly ends.
The Epiphany and Transitory Phase
Between the ages of 28 to about 30 (sometimes later for attractive women perpetuating their Party Years) women often enter into a more cognitive awareness of their personal conditions with regard to their declining SMV. This phase I call The Epiphany Phase; it is the point at which the subconscious awareness a woman has of her sexual market value in relation to her eventual date with the Wall can no longer be subconsciously repressed and ignored.
It is of primary importance to men to fully understand the significance this phase has for women. Again, the epiphany isn’t about women hitting their SMV Wall during this phase (though it’s possible) it’s about a woman conscientiously coming to terms with a markedly lessened capacity to sexually compete with her SMV-peak peers for the same male attention she enjoyed during her Party Years.
The abstract exaggeration is to think a woman necessarily hits the Wall at 30, her physical attractiveness shrivels and she magically transforms into a spinster cat lady overnight. Women absolutely (with commensurate effort) can and often do retain their looks and sexual agency past this phase; some into their late 30's and 40's. However, what defines this phase is the conscious realization that their looks are no longer what they were in their prime.
Combined with this is the awareness that they can no longer sexually compete at the same level as young women in their own SMV peaks for the attentions of men they now hope to consolidate their Hypergamy on in long-term commitment and provisioning security.
The Epiphany phase isn’t about women hitting the Wall so much as it is about an urgency to consolidate upon a man’s commitment of long-term security with the competition anxiety that comes from realizing it’s now she who must to put forth the effort to secure it rather than having it readily offered to her as it was by the men in her SMV peak years.
This is a precarious time for a woman where she makes attempts to reassess the last decade of her life. Women’s psychological rationalization engine (a.k.a. the Hamster) begins a furious effort to account for, and explain her reasonings for not having successfully secured a long-term monogamous commitment from as Alpha a man as her attractiveness could merit for her. Even women married prior to this phase (early marriages) will still go through some variation of self-doubt, or self-pity in dealing with the hypergamic uncertainty of her choice (“Is he really the best I could do?”).
A woman’s late Party Years are often the stage during which she entertains the hope that she can ’civilize’ the Alpha Bad Boys who satisfy the visceral side of her Hypergamy into assuming the providership role the other side of her Hypergamy demands, and is increasingly becoming more urgent for her.
Most Alpha Widows — women who psychologically imprint on the psycho-sexual ideal of the most Alpha man she’s been involved with in her sexual past — are most commonly made during this period. However, it’s during the Epiphany phase women conveniently make the rationalizations necessary for justifying this ’fixing’ effort.
During the Epiphany Phase a woman’s inner and outer dialog is self-excusing, virtuously self-educational and self-congratulatory.
“I used to be so different in college, but I’ve grown personally” or “I’ve learned my lesson about pursuing the ’wrong kind’ of men, I’m done with Bad Boys now” and “What happened to all the Nice Men?” are the standard clichés women will tell themselves.
Women will broadcast these rationalizations, either directly or indirectly, to men with a providership potential in the hopes of signaling to them that she is now ready accept their feminine-preconditioned offers of love, loyalty and dependability — offers which had been regularly forthcoming from men in the past, but she had no use of in during her Party Years.
This phase is a functional parallel to men’s feminine-imagined midlife crisis.
It’s during this stage that women will make radical shifts in their prioritization of what prerequisite traits qualify as ’attractive’ in a man and attempt to turn over a new leaf by changing up their behaviors to align with this new “do-it-right-girl” persona they create for themselves.
Since the physicality, sexual prowess and Alpha dominance that made up her former arousal cues in a Man aren’t quite as forthcoming from men as when she was in her sexual prime, she reprioritizes them with presumed preferences for more intrinsic male attributes that stress dependability, provisioning capacity or potential for it, humor, intellect, and esoteric definitions of compatibility and intimacy. All of which fall in line with her new sense of self-convinced feminine maturity and wisdom.
For the metaphysically inclined woman (which is to say most women) this may manifest in a convenient return to religious convictions she’d disregarded or abandoned in her Party Years. For other’s it may be some kind of self-enforced celibacy — a refusal to have sex under the Hypergamic auspices of her Party Years in the hopes that a well provisioning male will appreciate her for her ’new found’ prudence, so unlike how she used to be and all of the other girls who rejected him over the last decade.
The self-affirming psychological schema is one where she’s “finally doing the right thing” or she’s determined to make a fresh start “the right way this time”, when in fact she’s simply making the necessity of her long-term security a virtue she hopes the “right” men will appreciate. And if they don’t, then there’s always the social convention of shaming them to think they’re ’less-than-men’ for not forgiving her of eating her cake once she’s had it too.
While looks and masculine physical triggers in men are still an important arousal factor, her desire for a personal association with a man’s status and affluence begin to sublimate her physical priorities for attraction as she increasingly realizes the necessity of these attributes for herself and any future offspring’s long-term provisioning. It should be noted that the appeal of a man’s potential for provisioning is proportional to her perceived need of that provisioning.
As a woman moves into the Transitory phase (29-31) the Epiphany Phase reprioritizing of intrinsic attraction cues also coincides with the adjusted self-percept-tin of her own sexual market value.
As a woman becomes more cognizant of her lessened ability to sexually compete for men who (she believes) would meet her best Hypergamic balance, she’s forced to reassess her self-image.
There are many feminine social conventions pre-established to help her deny or buffer this reassessment. However, her hindbrain still acknowledges the competition anxiety that (unless, by effort or genetics, she’s a notable physical exception) she simply cannot command the kind of male attention women in their SMV-peak years do. Thus she must imagine value added aspects for herself and convince men that if they don’t appreciate those newly contrived aspects as valuable their value as a man is lessened.
Note that the reality of this assessment, or realistic expectations of it, aren’t the source of this anxiety, but rather it’s what she believes them to be.
An exceptionally attractive 30 year old woman may in fact still be able to sexually select men above what most women her age can expect, however it’s what she believes about herself, her internalized expectations for her age and what the Party Years experience has or hasn’t taught her in this respect that contributes to this anxiety. As you may guess this self-assessment is also subject to the influences of social media and social conventions that pander to insulating her from the worst damage to her ego of this Epiphany and the Transition period’s anxiety.
There’s a manosphere idiom that states the only women who complain about men needing to Man Up or how men have somehow juvenilely shirked the masculine responsibilities society expects of them are always 30 years of age or older. Younger women simply have no incentive to complain about what they believe they are entitled to in a man beyond his being ’hawt’.
What I term as the Transition phase is the culmination of the Epiphany phase’s influence on a woman who has thus far been unable to consolidate on monogamy-my with a male who fulfills the role of provider (Beta provider most often) that her Hypergamy now holds in a much higher priority order. When women in this phase complain of men’s “adequacy issues” what they’re really bemoaning is their chronic inability to find (or merit) a man who can optimally balance the dual influences of her Hypergamy — Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks.
The urgency for this consolidation is then compounded by the misconceptions most women hold about the Myth of their Biological clock, but in biological terms she’s well past the years of her prime fertility window and conceiving and carrying a child to term becomes progressively more difficult for women with each passing year.
I think it’s important to consider other outcomes of personal decisions women often do make during these periods. As I mentioned in Part I, it’s not uncommon for some women to consolidate on monogamy (LTR or marriage) well before either of these phase take place. While the experiences may differ, the underlying influences that prompt these phases remain more or less the same. I’ll elaborate more on this in Part III as it primarily relates to the later phases of women’s maturation process.
In the Transition phase, the competition anxiety that prompted the Epiphany Phase is exchanged for an anxiety that results from confronting the possibility a woman may never consolidate on a long-term security. However, as always, feminine social conventions are already in place to absolve her of any real personal accountability for this insight.
Thus, begins the ’Men are threatened by powerful women’, ’Men have fragile egos’, ’Men are shallow and only want young girls they can manipulate instead of vibrant women who are their intellectual equals’ and various other canards intended to simultaneously shame men into compliance with their hypergamous imperative. These ready conventions are established to relieve women of any personal account-ability for the anxiety the Transition phase forces them to experience.
For Red Pill, Game-aware Men, the Epiphany phase is a supremely important stage in women’s maturation to consider.
A woman in the Epiphany Phase is looking for a “fresh start” for a much more visceral reason than some newly inspired sense of self. This motivation prompts all kinds of behavioral and social conventions to facilitate a man’s commitment to forgiving her past indiscretions. As I mentioned, it’s women in this phase of life (or the mothers of women in this phase) who most vocally complain about men’s lack of interest in committing to them.
Women in their peak SMV years don’t complain about a dearth of marriageable men— “Man Up” is the anthem of women in the Epiphany Phase.
Operative social conventions abound for women in their late Party Years, through their Epiphany and Transitioning Phases, and not until their mid-thirties does the usefulness of these phases’ conventions really shift to more useful ones.
Most of these center on two primary aspects of a woman’s maturity. The first being the necessity of absolving a woman of the consequences of following the dictates her hypergamous sexual strategy incurred for her. The Party Years are defined by a woman prioritizing the Alpha Fucks side of Hypergamy. Post-Party Years social conventions euphemistically refer to this as a woman finding herself or “exploring her options”, but this period is defined by the “bad decisions” women characteristically make with men who “weren’t really good for them”.
That isn’t to say all women make these mistakes, but even the most reserved of women still prioritize Alpha excitement above Beta comfort and familiarity.
“I was looking for love in all the wrong places.”
“I always wanted marriage. I always wanted to find a great guy to settle down and have kids with. It just never happened for me.”
“I made a lot of mistakes.” (I made a lot of decisions that seemed like a good idea in the moment but when aggregated make me look kind of bad to you now.)
“I didn’t intend to get to 30 without being married. It just kind of happened.”
The common thread running through all this is the woman’s having sex with various attractiveness-prioritized men with options in the hopes that one of them would offer her commitment on her terms. When she fails in her attempt to get one of these top men to commit, she has to find a way to rationalize it so as to put the best face on it she can. The simplest way of ego preservation is to say “well, I always wanted to get married all along; it just never worked out for whatever reason”. And this is why men hear these rationalizations and explanations for the “crazy pasts they’re over now”, the Alpha men they can’t seem to get over (Alpha Widows) and the first night lays they had.
The second necessity for operative social conventions dovetails with the first in that they aid in consolidating on Beta provisioning and parental investment by ensuring those men remain compliant to what their own feminine conditioning has prepared them for.
Women’s long term security and provisioning depends on a man never fully coming into an awareness of his true SMV until after a woman can consolidate on his commitment to her. Scarier still is the thought that a man might come to that awareness after his potential has been compromised and limited by the decisions he was led to believe were his responsibilities to the feminine imperative and can never fully realize because of those decisions.
Social convention that key on presumed social responsibility bombard men from all sides during this phase of women’s maturity — even perpetuated by men them-selves.
“Men should date women their own age.”
“Men are ’shallow’ for ignoring single mothers as viable long term mates.”
“Men have ’fragile egos’ needing constant affirmation in an infantile respect.”
“Men feel threatened by ’successful’ women.”
These are a few examples but the prevalent social conventions of this phase all key on appeals to (Beta) men’s presumed social responsibility, shame and emphasis-sizing a man’s ’duty’ to abandoning or compromising his own sexual strategy’s best interests.
The Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies
For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon its own.
In no other phase of maturity is it more vital for a man to understand what this rule means in terms of having his future life’s plans dictated to him by the Feminine Imperative. Every social convention employed at this key period has the latent purpose of convincing a man that his sexual strategy should be congruent with a woman’s sexual strategy (Hypergamy). Those conventions’ purpose is to convince him it is his uniquely male duty to fulfill and forgive the trappings of a woman’s drive for optimal Hypergamy and thus ensure the success of her sexual strategy.
The imperative of those conventions is to convince him of such before he comes to a full realization of his peak sexual market value, and thus putting a man into the prime sexual selector position. Men in such an awareness of their own SMV become a threat to women’s control of their own Hypergamy.
One of the greatest misdirections of gender understanding over the past 60 years has been the idea that both men and women should share the same sexual strategy. A naive equalitarian ideology dictates the need for both genders to have equally similar, cooperative gender life goals, and equally similar methods to realize them. But as with most feminine-primary social engineering, Mother Nature and men and women’s biological imperatives are always at odds with this.
Generally this assimilation of a common sexual strategy is ingrained early on in men’s feminization conditioning. I use the term ’assimilation’ because men are taught and conditioned to presume that the feminine sexual strategy (however most women subjectively choose to define it) is universally the correct strategy — and any deviation from what ultimately serves feminine Hypergamy is met with ridicule at best, accusations of misogyny and ostracization at worst.
Hypergamy essentially revolves around optimizing (and maximally protracting) women’s unilateral sexual selection from Good Genes men (direct benefits) and Good Dad’s men (material benefits). Alpha Fucks / Beta Bucks.
From a biological perspective men’s sexual imperative is one of unlimited access to unlimited sexual availability. This isn’t to discount the very strong impulse in men to seek assurances of paternity in the children they ultimately sire, however, prior to his parental investment, the male impetus is to seek unlimited access to unlimited sexuality.
When we consider a male sexual imperative in the biological respect, and the strategies men use to effect it, it becomes easier to understand the social conventions and engineering the Feminine Imperative uses to control and maximally restrict men as sexual selectors.
There are infinite paths a woman’s search for commitment could take, opening up the possibility of a second dimension to the time line wherein diversions from the “worst case” path of no-commitment are entertained for period where Beta provisioning is secured, or Alphas are found.
All sorts of things could change; the Party Years might be extremely compressed, or even non-existent. The Break Phase might actually be pushed back because a more Alpha lover limited a woman’s vision of her own options. The Epiphany and Transition Phases probably exist in some form for all women, but in happily married women those phases come out looking less like panic.
For women who consolidate on monogamy prior to those phases their experiences are more like a regretful realizations of getting older, and (sometimes grudgingly) seeing the actualized value in her husband as he progresses toward his own SMV peak years.
This is yet another purpose of keeping men ignorant of women’s sexual strategies until they can consolidate on monogamy. So long as he’s educated and conditioned for most of his life to be an ideal, dependable Beta his sense of social responsibility to his wife should be an insurance for her long-term security when he finally does come to realize his SMV potential.
One of the problems men encounter with women who are ’early consolidators’ is that they risk being associated with the consequences of the regret a woman feels as she proceeds through these phases tied down by commitments to monogamy or resulting children.
These women are beset on many fronts by a social order that emphasizes (and glorifies) female empowerment. They cannot avoid the social awareness that they live in an unprecedented era when women’s opportunities for self-advancement coincides with women’s unilateral control of their own Hypergamy. The message is one of the world being a woman’s oyster both professionally and sexually, why would any gal want to saddle herself with a less than optimal man and a less than rewarding personal/professional life?
That’s a tough message to swallow, but furthermore she’s forced to live vicariously through these phases with her single friends and a ceaseless media broad-casting its message and catering to her need for indignation while she lives a “less than” life of committed early monogamy only advancing yearly towards the Wall.
For men who consolidate early, and likely idealistically, with this outlier, his Blue Pill mindset is challenged as her discontent evolves towards her Epiphany Phase. Her single girlfriends are experiencing a very different life and she shares that from a distance her commitment wont allow her to get any closer to.
When a woman spends the better part of her twenties sharing the second-hand indignation and sexual adventures of her peers while living in the constraints of monogamous commitment, her Epiphany Phase becomes one of a last chance at a second chance. Divorce fantasy stories and movies are directed primarily at this outlier and grow in popularity. The man she married in her youth is at last revealed as the Beta schlub he is (despite all past dedication and performance) and she consoles herself with the possibilities of enjoying the kinds of Alpha lovers her girlfriends regaled her with in their experiences for the past ten or so years.
This type of Epiphany and Transitioning Phase is still rooted in a woman’s realization that she wont be able to sexually compete with younger versions of herself, but that realization stems from her awareness that this phase is her last chance for a “good life”. Courtesy of the experiences of her girlfriends and what she takes for her own seasoned maturity, she now sees her dedicated Beta as “just a guy” and a guy who’ll never get it.
She loves him, but she’s not in love with him. His reality doesn’t compare to the fantasy she resents him for preventing her from experiencing. She missed out, and the epiphany becomes one of risking it all for one last chance at it.
A Note on Ultimatums
One area I felt I should mention here is that during this stage of a woman’s maturity, men will commonly be delivered ultimatums — “Marry me or we’re through” or “You need to fix this about yourself if we’re going to be together.”
Ultimatums are declarations of powerlessness because you are resorting to a direct threat to get someone to do what you want them to, and in doing so you overtly confess your weak position. If a woman were in a genuine position of control it wouldn’t be necessary to resort to an ultimatum; she’d simply use that control (as she likely did in her Party Years). There are many ways to effect a change in another person, but ultimatums will never prompt a genuine change. If they change behavior it’s prompted by the threat, not unprompted, organic desire.
This is important to remember because a relationship based on a man acquiescing to a woman’s ultimatum fundamentally corrupts the Frame and future of that marriage / relationship. Agreeing to an ultimatum is both negotiated desire and a permanent impression of your Beta status to a woman.
One of the primary tenets of my Game philosophy is that true desire cannot be negotiated. A natural, unsolicited desire state, unmitigated by obligation or concerns for resources exchange, is the ideal basis for any intergender relationship. Any factors that introduce elements that hinder this genuine desire — exchange, negotiations, obligations, reciprocity, etc. — weaken this desire and weaken the relationship. Delivering an ultimatum is the most direct, overt way to introduce exactly these elements into a relationship.
You cannot effect a genuine change of desire with an ultimatum as your relationship will be founded on that threat. This is the real power issue; that a woman would want a man to conform to her desire so badly that she’d use a threat to effect it despite the foreknowledge that it can never be a genuine conformation.
Hypergamy only believes the dominance of a man that a woman finds in him, never the dominance a woman needs to create in him.
Betas at the Epiphany — Saving the Best
“I Would Never Have dated You When I Was 25”
I had a friend relate this conversation to me. This is what his girlfriend blurted out to him right before he’d told her he would never marry her.
She proceeded to explain how “back in the day” she was attracted to bodybuilder types and how she found them disgusting now. The truth was depressing for him. He managed to maintain Frame pretty well when she said this, but mainly because he’d only just remembered that she said it about an hour before.
“The truth is, I wanted to weep. I wanted to weep not just because I’m getting the leftovers. But also because her female mind will make sure she never understands.
And also because I’m going to have to leave this girl soon if she expects me to invest more into her than I deem her worthy. And I wanted to weep because I honestly feel like she might be lost without me due to her mental illnesses and lack of self-control. And I wanted to weep because I know she will fuck men left and right after we break up. I wanted to weep because I fell in love with her no matter how many times I told myself not to. What kind of fucked up game is this?”
His situation is the most common frustration men in this demographic experience with women on the other side of their Epiphany and Transition phases — the harsh realization that what he was convinced would be his wife’s sexual best would be his in a committed marriage.
To really understand the Security Phase men need to grasp the long term effects of women’s dualistic strategy on the Beta man’s mindset as a result of his feminine-centric conditioning.
When a woman approaches and enters into her Epiphany Phase, she has a limbic understanding that her genetic chips need to be cashed in with a man who has ’proper’ long term provisioning potential. For the greater part, those men are expected by women to have some Blue Pill conditioning that will make them more compliant with what’s now becoming an unignorable form of open Hypergamy.
Prior to technologies that could evidentially prove women’s sexual exploits, the more visceral aspects of a woman’s sexuality, and the inconvenient hind-brain/hormonal prompts that motivate them, could be kept secret well enough to deceive men with provisioning potential to commit to long term security. As the technology to record this becomes more ubiquitous, more permanent and fluid in its use, (and as men become more interconnected by it) rationalizing those evident past ’indiscretions’ becomes more of an imperative for women.
Men saturated and conditioned over the better half of their lifetime by the feminine imperative to be the convenient cuckolds to women’s Hypergamy — men like my friend in this confession — have an ego-invested interest in presuming the woman they pair with will be “giving him the best of herself” once his ship comes in and all of his patience and equalist beliefs finally pay off.
Only, men like this discover too late — usually well after they realize their commitment has hamstrung their SMV peak potential — that not only have they been a retroactive cuckold (sometimes moralistically proud to be so), but they’ve been socially conditioned to be one, by their mothers, their emasculated fathers, their sisters, female friends, teachers and the whole of the Feminine Imperative’s effort for most of their lives.
One of the reasons I, and most of the manosphere, receive so much scorn from plugged-in, feminine primary society is that we risk to expose this process. This man’s story is the inconvenient, but common truth of a pluralistic feminine sexual strategy. Women’s capacity to cash out of the SMP, to raise children, to create a semblance of a family life so conflicted with her single life, on what she thinks should be her terms, all rides on keeping men with long term provisioning potential (greater Betas) ignorant of their pre-cuckolding and the conditioning that took so long to convince them would be their responsibility.
“I am so fucking lucky. I got married to a whore, that fucks like a prude.”
The primary reason men become preoccupied with women’s sexual past is rooted in ’getting the best’ she has to offer him sexually. There is certainly more aspects to this (fidelity, secure attachment, etc.), but all men want a slut, they just want her to be his slut. Once the belief that he’s getting the best sex she has to offer him is dispelled, viscerally and definitively, the nature of the Desire Dynamic (you cannot negotiate genuine desire) comes into sharp focus.
There are a great many social conventions prepared to reaffirm a man willing to accept his position of powerlessness in a social order of feminine primacy and open Hypergamy for his participation in fulfilling women’s dominant sexual strategy.
The Beta man encountering the newfound attraction a woman’s Epiphany Phase presents to him often convinces himself that women’s interest in him is genuine and organic. In a sense it is, but although this attraction (not to be confused with arousal) is perceived as genuine on the part of women, it’s an attraction born of necessity. That necessity is the need to consolidate on monogamy with a man who’ll willingly ignore not just her past Alpha Fucks indiscretions, but participate in what he’s been conditioned to believe is his duty as a man from society and start to build a “mature adult” life with her.
A Beta at the Epiphany Phase believes his ship has finally come in and his self-righteous AFC strategy of patience and perseverance will be rewarded.
The social conventions at the time make him believe he’s to be more lauded for ’forgiving’ a woman’s past, irrespective of whether he can expect praise for looking past her misgivings.
Getting Her Settled Best
On the Rational Male blog I’ve had countless men relate to me the experience of having discovered details of their wife or girlfriend’s sexual past, and how it surprised them because their wives appetites and sexual freedom with former lovers then has been traded for sexual reservation and self-consciousness with him.
However, this may not have been the experience of discovering a sexual past his wife had no intention of ever allowing him to share with her , but rather the expectation men have of receiving a woman’s ’sexual best’ in marriage. That may not amount to the sexual experimentation she had in her Party Years, but for a Beta who believes his patience and virtue are to be rewarded after having played “by the rules” for so long, it is an expectation of enjoying the same or better sexual urgency his wife-to-be shared with her past lovers.
That Beta believes it’s his turn, because why else would a woman commit to a lifetime investment in a man she didn’t think was her best option?
Remember, during the Epiphany Phase a woman’s rationale for choosing the Beta for a long-term investment is because she’s “experienced it all” and finally “knows better than to keep dating the Bad Boys who don’t appreciate her.” Thus the Beta believes he must be, and has always been, the best option for her by virtue of her investment in that belief.
So if she’s finally come to realize he’s the best option, why would she not expect to enjoy her best sexual performance with him? Especially when he’s being told for the first time in his life that his perseverance, dependability and his belief in equalism are what “makes him sexy” now.
For the Alpha Widow marrying the Beta-in-waiting, the comparison of his sexual appeal with prior lovers conflicts with her need to finalize the long-term security she couldn’t with her previous Alphas (or the men she perceived as Alpha). Thus comes reserved, self-restrained and self-conscious sex with her new Beta provider. She knows that sex with her Beta lacks the intensity and urgency of her prior lovers, but she falls back on her Epiphany Phase self-convinced rationalizations that she’s “doing it for the right reasons this time”.
That right reason being of course getting pregnant to further consolidate long term provisioning.
Our Beta simply lacks anything really comparable to the same sexual experience as his wife-to-be to know any better (unless of course he finds proof of that experience later), but he gradually suspects her progressive lack of passion, reservations and self-consciousness by comparing it to porn or possibly some of the other women’s he’s had sex with.